I feel like a rodent on a wheel

So I started reading my book last night. The first chapter hammers home the point "Diets don't work! Diets don't work." But they do work - while we're on them. It's hard to get into the book when I don't agree with the basic premise. There is a lot of good information about why we do what we do regarding food, but every time I see the line "diets don't work" I rebel. Maybe as I get further into the book, I may feel differently. The truth is that "diet" is defined as a way of eating. A diet is meant to keep us alive through sustenance. So, in that sense they do work. And restricting food also works. It works until we quit doing it. I wish that the authors would spend more time on what drives us to eat over and above what we need to sustain life.

One thing the book has done is make me think back to when I began to use food as something other than a means to fuel my body. When I was a child, my mother was very sick. My father didn't understand exactly what was going on and there were a lot of fights and talk of divorce. I'm pretty sure that I used food back then to tune out. In my child's mind, I laid the blame on myself. I couldn't control what was going on around me so I controlled what went into my mouth. It was how I learned to cope with life. Food was my comfort. That never changed. I have no frame of reference as to how to comfort myself any other way. This is what I need to explore.

When I watch Biggest Loser, I am happy for the people who lose the weight, but I wonder what happens later. How many of them go back to using and abusing food? I like the fact that Jillian at least touches on this with the contestants.

But how does one turn off the switch? I remember when I was a smoker, I just couldn't imagine myself going through life without that crutch. I used smoking to control my eating. When I no longer had that crutch, food again became my primary way of coping with life. That, and procrastinating. "Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow - you're always a day away." Yep, always a day away. It is so easy to focus on what I will do tomorrow, meanwhile, today is slipping through my fingers. And you don't get them back. How do I turn that around. How do I stay in today? That's what I need to learn. That's what I am hoping this book will show me.

I found myself actively panicking while reading the first chapter. I don't want to give up dieting.
What I need to do is find a food plan I can stick with. Obviously, nothing I have tried has done the job. I feel best on lowcarb, but I don't stay with it. I know that this is what the authors mean when they say that diets don't work, but I am afraid to stop. It's like a rat on a wheel in a cage.

I'm very confused and I need to sort this out. In the meantime, I weighed in today at my highest all time weight.

And still I have hope. Where does that come from? Well, I know where it comes from, but why isn't it enough to keep me doing what I need to do?

I don't need a kick in the butt, I need some answers.

Addicted to dieting?

I found a book today when I stopped at Rite Aide. It caught my eye because it wasn't a diet book. Do any of us need a diet book? Can't we recite backwards and forwards the rules and regulations of every diet out there? How many times have we bought a diet book and the first chapter gives the nitty gritty and then the rest of the book is recipes and food lists. I don't know about you, but I don't need to be told what to eat. I know what to eat. My problem is that no matter what I eat, I eat too much of it. Here are some promises on the back cover of this book:

Give up dieting forever

Learn to use food as a fuel rather than a tranquilizer

Relax around food and find your way to your natural weight

Move beyond constant thoughts of eating and weight in order to live a more satisfying life.

As I read the list of promises I found myself feeling uneasy. Why uneasy? I had to think about it for a while because all of those promises are promises of freedom. I think it's because all of those promises take me into unfamiliar territory. I have no frame of reference for them. I cannot think of a time in my life from my teens onward when I wasn't thinking about dieting, when I wasn't using food as a tranquilizer, when I was relaxed around food, when I wasn't constantly thinking about eating or about my weight. My weight battle is a familiar struggle. My "fat" suit is a buffer. I can blame every bad thing in my life on my weight - and when the weight is gone, life will be great. The truth is that if life isn't great now, losing weight isn't going to make it great. It will only enhance what is already there - good or bad.

I am trying to imagine a life where my first waking thought isn't "have I lost or gained?" "Did I get away with what I ate yesterday, or will the scale reward me for my sacrifices?"

I often call myself a fraud. And I think deep down I know the truth about myself. I talk a good game, to myself, about how I'm going to change, but then I don't follow through. I don't treat other people this way, but it's how I treat myself.

I have joined 2 weight loss challenges and I have weighed in with a gain at all of the weigh-ins. What is going on in my head? If anyone else treated me this way I would call them on it in a New York minute.

I am going to start the book today and see if I can find something that will help me with my real problem - not what I eat, but why I eat.

The funk has lifted!!

First of all, thank you so much to all of you who offered me encouragement yesterday. I am feeling much better today. Part of the problem was that I missed my meds on Monday and it messed me up a bit. I did try the suggestion with the lighting and that did help.

Today I did 30 minutes of yoga on the WII and 30 minutes on the treadmill. The walk 1 program on the treadmill uses the incline to get your heartrate up. I have to modify every now and then so I am going to stay with that for a while until it becomes easier to go the whole 30 minutes.

Daily stats:
Type: WII FIT
Route: Yoga
Time: 30 minutes


Daily stats:
Type: Treadmill
Route: Walk program 1
Time: 30 minutes
Average heart rate: 123
Max heart rate: 154
Calories burned:223

While I was on the treadmill, I watched the first half hour of Biggest Loser that I missed on Tuesday night. Joelle still bugs me, but her attitude is getting better. While she was working out she kept repeating "Bring Carla back." I adopted my my own. "Bring Mary back." I really do need to bring the old me back. I haven't seen her in such a long time. :)

Congratulations to Janene - our biggest loser on our challenge this week.

And to the A-Team members -

Natalie in first place - She lost 3.4 lbs and 2.24% of her total body percentage!,
Heather in 2nd who lost 4 lbs and 2.22% of her total body weight!
Kimberly in 3rd losing 6.2 pounds with 2.18% of her total body weight

Terrific job ladies!!!!!!

Our family website - Sugar Bush Primitives is providing one of the final prizes for the Biggest Loser Blog edition.

Have a great day all!!
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Afternoon update:

My Tweetle Bugs came to visit:


Claire likes to play on the WII


Clay likes to play with his "Crafting Cart"

Down in the dumps

I'm not exactly sure why, but I definitely am. Not much to report today. I just feel like laying low. I know it will pass, but it's a bummer to go through.

I am going to concentrate on getting things done around here and see if that improves my mood.

Anna, Melisa, Summer - you are going down! You too, Nicola!

I started out on the WII today. I will be doing the yoga everyday from now on, and the strength training on Mon-Wed-Fri which is my usual rotation. (When I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.) The other games, balance and aerobics I will save for fun or for cardio days. I can't wait to get outside.

Daily stats:
Type: WII FIT
Route: Yoga/Strength training
Time: 30 minutes
Average heart rate: 95
Max heart rate: 236
Calories burned:128

Daily stats:
Type: Treadmill
Route: Walk program 1
Time: 30 minutes
Average heart rate: 119
Max heart rate: 138
Calories burned:222

Bring it on Anna and Melisa!

I would like to thank all of my friends for giving me a swift kick and lots of encouragement yesterday. I ready to start a new week in which I WILL be successful.
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Okay, so I let my lovely daughters use my WII FIT on Saturday night. I left it at Anna's and went home. After I left, they proceeded to break every single record I had achieved. I am off to fix that. Updates later.
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Update: I forgot about their lovely cousin, Summer. She broke a few of my records too. Apparently she is very good at yoga. She's at the top of every ranking. Gotta fix that too.

I did manage to break a few records here and there, but Anna still rules on the hula hoop and Melisa is still queen of the flame watchers.

The train has left the station . . . and it's going the wrong way!

I am really struggling with motivation right now. We were at Anna's last night playing with the WII fit. I was the biggest one. It amazes me how stuff can creep up on you and you don't see it until it is at the crisis point. If anyone had told me 30 years ago that I would be an obese woman at 56, I would have said "no way." You would think that after fighting this battle for so long, I would have gotten better at it. But no. It's gotten worse.

I can't blame my weight on glands or heredity or any external source. Well, I could, but it wouldn't be valid. I use food the same way I used cigarettes; to de-stress, to comfort, to celebrate, to quell fears, to overcome feelings of inadequacy - In short - for anything that life throws at me - good or bad.

There is one thing though - I never give up - I never lose hope that some day I will get this in hand. That is one thing I admire about myself. This could be the year - this could be the week - this could be the day that I turn it all around and get where I have been struggling to go.

Angie's team - anyone that wants to give me a good swift kick - go ahead. It may wake me up!

Here's to a better day, a better week, a better life!!

I killed my MII

I didn't mean to, really I didn't. It's just that she was named "Me" and I tried to edit her. She still shows up in the plaza, though, so her spirit lives on. Nina and Jamie drove in while I was doing my Yoga portion. Nina headed for the treadmill. I felt like I was on the Biggest Loser campus. It was totally cool.

I have unlocked a lot of new games. The step aerobics are fun. I love the running, although the form is a bit different than when I run outside. I set a goal of 4 pounds in two weeks and it is fun to get daily affirmation from the WII.

Last night Harold and I played it. We created him a MII, but he's really not as much into it as I am. He prefers the treadmill. I love all of it.

Here is what I have discovered about myself. I tend to favor my left side. This shows up in the body test and in different balance tests. That would make sense. I am left handed. I have found that during the day I am much more aware of my center of balance and my posture. Working on that should be great for my back. My core muscles need a lot of strengthening. Even though the WII will not be my sole source of exercise, it will be an important component for measuring strenght and flexibility - both are important as I near my 60s.

Tonight I am taking the whole kit and kaboodle over to Anna's house. We will be painting and WII ing. Harold will be at a card party. The girls are all going to create MIIs. Tomorrow after family dinner we will be working on coupons and WII ing. Should be fun!

I am a yoga master and a calorie incinerator!!

Been having loads of fun with my WII so far. I got my age back down to the low 40's. I have discovered that I have balance and flexibility issues with my right side. That's what I love about this thing. It critiques my form and helps with core training. I have tended to let strength training slide because my favorite exercise is aerobics, but this makes the core training fun.
The WII won't replace what I've been doing, but it will be a fun alternative to night-time eating.
I even got a workout in this morning and I usually don't on Friday mornings. I woke up rarin' to go.

Oh, and here's a tip. Sam's club and Walmart have the WII consoles for $249. Amazon.com has the WII fit for $107. I paid more than I should have for mine, but it's still worth every penny.

Whhheeeeeeee, the WII FIT is coming

Good morning, Losers,
Today my WII FIT should arrive. I am sooo excited. I love walking outside, and I love our treadmill, but I think this may end up being my favorite. I am going by the testimonials I have heard. I've only dabbled a bit with Nicola's - created a MII and bounced a few soccer balls off my head - nothing really hard core. LOL! I did find out that it figured my age to be in the early 40s. Not bad for an almost 57 year old crone. I'll be back later with updates.
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It's here! I started out as a 42 year old and ended up as a 73 year old. Hmmmmm
But it is way cool. It won't be my only form of exercise but it will be a daily fun time!!!

And the whining continues . . .

Good grief! Joelle was spared. I don't know how I feel about that. I guess I'm happy for Carla. But I am not looking forward to another dose of the cat fight that went on last night. I can't believe that after all the screaming, Joelle looks at Carla and says, "you're mad at me?" Duh, ya think? Joelle is so passive-agressive that it is maddening.

I felt bad for Damien. And his elimination seemed to come out of left field. They say that one negative person in a workplace can affect even the most positive of teams. I really hope that those who voted Damien off don't regret their vote. They may have perceived him as the bigger threat, but I think that Joelle's attitude is toxic.

I'm still floundering around but I think as I get used to this huge life change I will settle into a good routine. I heard Harold getting his workout in this morning. I think leaving Medler will be good for his morale. He's working harder now, but enjoying it more.

I got notice yesterday that my WII FIT is coming tomorrow. Whoo hoo! Anna says she will be here to help break it in. I can just see Sunday family dinners ending with a WII session. Anna and Melisa used Nina's over the weekend. Little Claire was doing stepwork with them. She used a book as her balance board. She also broke records on batting the virtual soccer ball with her head. Claire is two.

I'm off to watch the first half hour of Biggest Loser (I got home late) and get in my workout. Updates later.

Daily stats:
Type: Treadmill
Route:custom program 1
Time: 35 minutes
Average heart rate: 125 (this probably isn't accurate, see below)
Max heart rate: 252 (yeah you read that right. I even used a different watch)
Calories burned:260

Okay, there is no way my heart rate went up to 252. I don't know what's going on with that monitor. I guess I'm just going to have to use it for timing workouts. That ticks me off because I have 3 of these things and none of them is working right. I changed the batteries in all three of them. I use them to make sure I am staying in the right heart rate zone, but as it is, they are useless at the moment. I can't wait to get the WII and see what that's all about.


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THIS JUST IN: You can win a WII FIT system.

Click here to enter

I hope you're reading, Anna!

Late post today

This post is late due to my being held hostage by my two little Tweetle Birds. When I'm at the computer, Claire is right there with "hold me, hold me, Nama." Now I ask you, how do you say no that?

Later . . .

Two Retirees in the house

As I wrote on my other blog, now that Harold is home during the day, our routines need to be adjusted. Him being here is going to be good because while I may be able to rationalize to myself about skipping a workout, he won't buy it. LOL! He does his stint as soon as he gets up. Then when he's done, I do mine. Soooooo, I got my half hour in this morning. My HRM is giving me tons of grief. Today when I went to save my workout, it totally deleted it. Grrrr. But I think I remember what the readings were.

Daily stats:
Type: Treadmill
Route: Manual controls
Time: 30 minutes: 117
Max heart rate: 139
Calories burned: 222

Yesterday ended the 3 day celebration of Harold's retirement. My food choices were not the best yesterday. Today I am back on track and inspired by the results posted on the BL blog edition. Congratulations to Shari, Angie, and TJ from Team Angie!!! I am looking forward to seeing a loss posted after my name next week!!!
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For Christmas we all chipped in and bought Nina a WII Fit. I've been reading rave reviews and I have decided that I want one. However, I have tons of workout videos so I really can't justify spending the money. What I'm going to do is list those videos for sale on Amazon and use the money toward a WII fit.

Now I am off read the blogs and get some stuff done.
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12:38 pm update
I bought a WII FIT off of Ebay. I know, I am a big wimp. LOL! I had forgotten that when I got my last paycheck from the school, I was going to get something special. What do you know, there was enough in the paycheck to pay for the WII FIT. I would never have discovered this if I had not been doing my Flylady mission of cleaning out my closet. I had tucked the loot in there and found it when I was decluttering the closet floor. I know that virtue is its own reward, but this was pretty cool too! But I have sold one of my workout videos. And I will still list them.

Have a great day all.

And the winner is . . . . .

Last night went very well. The roads were not great, but, unbeknownst to me, the dinner had been pushed back to 7:00 so we didn't have to rush. That's a good thing because there was black ice on the roads. At one point we watched the car in front do a little fish-tail dance. The dinner was buffet style so I had complete control over what went into my mouth. I had salad, some prime rib, and shrimp. I have decided that I am not a fan of "peel and eat" shrimp - especially when I don't know that it's peel and eat. That first piece of shrimp did not go down very well.

I weighed in this morning with a gain - and I knew that was going to happen. I have already moved on and am planning to have a terrific week and a wonderful next weigh-in

I think part of the reason I have had trouble getting on track is because I retired from one of my jobs about a month ago. DH retired from his on Friday. I think I have put things on hold because I really couldn't formulate any kind of daily routine until Harold was done with his job. He's planning to work out now also. A couple of years ago he bought a treadmill. He was using it every morning for a few weeks and then his work hours changed. He had to get up at 4:00. That kind of took care of the morning workout. Now he'll be able to do that again. Neither of us will be packing a lunch since in the farm world the noon meal is dinner - the big meal of the day. I am looking forward to going back to that lifestyle. Neither of us really wanted to go to work off the farm, but we were blessed to have nice places to work.

Good luck to all of my team Angie people!

Hugs,
Mary

Self sabotag

You know, I joined the challenge about a week ago. I was pumped. I was ready I was excited. "I'm gonna do it!" But it ain't happenin'. I start out the day great, but night time always does me in. My weigh-in day is going to be tomorrow and I'm pretty sure it will be a gain. I'm really trying to get my attitude on straight because I know that attitude is the key.

We're going out to dinner tonight - the Medler dinner. This is the company my husband retired from yesterday. I'm nervous because it means that Harold goes to church with me so that we can zip right over to Wyman afterwards. I'm nervous for 2 reasons. I am afraid I will be late for church. Late, for me, is arriving later than 1/2 hour before Mass. I have things to do before Mass. I have cantors to prepare, I have other little details that need to be taken care of. I have a very demanding pastor. This weekend we are testing some new mics so I need to make sure everything is set for that. Harold doesn't understand why I need to be there early and nothing I say can make him. There are people in my life who fail to realize that while I love what I do at the church, it is also a job for which I am paid. There seems to be the perception that I can breeze in and out whenever I feel like it or that I can take time off at a moment's notice. It is frustrating sometimes. I need to be at church by 4:00 at the latest. I asked DH if we could please be sure and leave no later than 3:45. He refuses to leave that early so we will be rushed and I will get to church with my stomach in knots. Break out the M&Ms. No! I am not going to do that to myself.

The other thing is that it is snowing out. I am very nervous when the roads are bad and we will be rushing to get to the dinner on time. (Yes, I see the irony) The tires need air, but I couldn't fill them yesterday because the air pumps were closed due to the frigid temps. So today I am going to not think about tonight. I'm just going to concentrate on getting stuff picked up and not stress eat. I am going to live in the moment and not stress about the future.

It helps to know that I can stay on track tonight and then come back here and blog about it - and there will be people who will understand and share my victory. Yes, it's going to be a victory. I am deciding that right now.
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3:00 pm update
Well, I have not stress eaten and I have the house picked up. It still needs a lot of work, but I wouldn't drop dead from shame if someone broke in an robbed us.
It is still snowing and not looking great outside, but I am not going to eat over it. M&Ms will not make the snow stop. :)
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I just posted my weigh-in for this week at Biggest Loser Blog edition. It was not a loss, but I am pumped for next week.

Have a great day.
Go team Angie!!!
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Just shut up and do it!

Yep, that's where I'm at today. I have been stumbling around trying to find a plan I can stick with. It goes something like this.

8:00 am (which always follows a last supper food fest)
I am going to count points. I dutifully fill in my journal. Post about it on my blog. And feel that initial rush of excitement.

10:00 am
Have a low point snack - fruit or whatever

12:00 pm
Still going strong. I've visited everyone's blogs to see how they're doing. Had a great lunch. I'm at 16 pts for the day.

2:00 pm
Hmmmm, I have so many points left, that I can spend a few on some M&Ms.

4:00 pm
Still have some points left - let's have a few more M&Ms

5:00 pm
Shouldn't have had those M&Ms. Now I want more. Oooooh, that ice cream looks good. And I still have a few points left.

8:00
Points are gone, I'm starving. From 2:00 on I ate nothing but junk. Guess I'll start again tomorrow. Let's go see what's in the fridge.

Does that sound familiar? Or am I the only crazy one?

Since December I have flirted with the points thing thinking that I can have whatever I want as long as I count the points. It works for other people. Many people have done very well with it. Why doesn't it work for me? It doesn't work for me for several reasons.

I can't have a lot of choice. That gets me into trouble.
I can't eat whatever I want - sugar and I are in a love/hate relationship.
Food is not the problem for me - it's the symptom. It's how I use food. I don't have a metabolism problem, I have a thinking problem. I didn't gain weight because my body can't handle food. I gained weight because I use food to try and handle life. That is what has to change. That is where my energy needs to go.

So, again, today is a new day - a new beginning. It's like so many people have quoted Bob saying the other night on Biggest Loser. "Just shut up and do it."

Knowing me, I probably won't shut up, but by God, I am going to do it.

Hugs all!

Is there a Joelle living in your head?

Okay, let's have a show of hands. How many people wanted to slap Joelle silly last night? I know I did. Poor Bob. Did anyone count the number of F-bombs he dropped? And how many people were angry that she didn't fall below the yellow line? 'Cause if she had, her butt would be headed home now instead of Jerry's.

But I got to thinking about it this morning. Don't we all have times in our lives when we are like Joelle. Yes, she's a whiner and a complainer and a drama queen. But underneath all of that is a very insecure person. We were sad to see Jerry go home because he is in such poor shape physically - but his attitude is right where it should be. That was evidenced by the update we saw on him at the end of the show. His motivation got him where he needed to go.

But Joelle, she is just as ill as Jerry, but it isn't so much physically as mentally. I really don't think she believes she can do it. Did you catch the line last night where she said $25,000 is more than she makes in a couple of years? She's living with her mother. She's looking for her motivation outside herself. Perhaps Biggest Loser is where she will find the self-esteem to do what needs to be done. She needs to turn her attitude around before she is going to find any success in life. Do we see a bit of ourselves in Joelle? I know I do. I think that's why she touched such a raw nerve.

Now I'm off to read other people's blogs and get in a workout.
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Daily stats:
Type:Weights and cardio - free form
Route:In the living room while watching a Core Rhythms infomercial :)
Time: 30
Average heart rate: 115
Max heart rate: 137
Calories burned: 200

Snow, snow, and more snow + A New resolve

I guess today's workout will be on the treadmill. LOL!
It's been a while since I worked out. I awoke today with new determination.
Tonight is Biggest Loser. I love Tuesday nights!!! I am in 2 challenges so I am hoping that this is the year I get to goal.
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Yesterday's physical was fine. I'm healthy except for my weight. I had numbness in my hand and arm that was concerning me. The PA said it was most likely arthritis in my spine that is pinching a nerve. I can live with it for the time being, but it is annoying.
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I'm headed for the treadmill

Daily stats:
Type: Treadmill
Route: Manual controls
Time: 40 minutes
Average heart rate: 121
Max heart rate: 139
Calories burned:287
Activity points: 2

The workout was good. I think my HRM is off a little. When I thought I was dying, it was reading 121 and then when I took a breather and slowed down a little, it would read 137. Go figure. I'll use the other one tomorrow and see what happens.

I baked bread last night. I'm not really into bread all that much except this stuff is unbelievable and well worth the 5 pts per generous slice. It's made with oatmeal and stone ground graham flour, and of course, real maple syrup. I bake it in a round stone pan. With a slice of cheese, it makes a great breakfast and my blood sugar stays stable.

Breakfast: Total 8.5 pts
Cafe latte: (1.5)/Maple Oat bread: (5)/Kraft singles - (2)
Snack: Total 1 pt.
orange - (1 pt)
Lunch: Total 8 pts
broccoil and cheese sauce - (2.5)
Lean Pocket (5.5)
Snack: Total 1.5 pt.
Dannon yogurt (1.5)
Dinner: 8.5
2 egg omelette (8.5)
Snack: Total 3.5 pt.
Hot chocolate made with Atkins shake (3)
2 carrots (.5)

Daily Total:
Allowed: 32 points + 2 activity points
Points used: 31
Points leftover: +3

Annual Physical

Yep, today's the day. I'm showered, shaved, and whatever. I have my list of questions to ask. I can't wait until I'm back home. Later . . .

First weigh-in. A new day, a new week

Well, my first weigh-in isn't great. I'm up .8 pounds. Not a very good start. Tomorrow I go for my yearly physical. I'm sure I will be hearing some things I don't want to hear. Our family doctor of many years retired this past summer. I'm a bit nervous about tomorrow. I'll be seeing the PA but I also need to decide who our family doctor will be.

But today starts a new day and a new week. That's all I'm going to concentrate on for now.

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Oooooh, I just found out that my first official weigh in will be next Sunday. That gives me some time to redeem myself. whoo hoo - game on!!!


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The struggle continues

I really would love for 2009 to be the year I stop abusing food. I so much want to be part of this challenge, but I feel like a fraud because I do well all day long and then cave at night. I am in a transition phase in my life and I know I am using food as a buffer. I also know it has to stop.
I am just now eating breakfast. I stalled on it because in my present frame of mind I am afraid I won't be able to stop eating. Updates later.
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Setback

The hardest time I have with this whole weight loss thing is night eating. It's like I think I may die in the night so I'd better get that ice cream in. I know it's stupid, but there it is. Nothing about this whole weight thing is sane. Just ask any "normal" person. If I could just conquer the night time, it would be so much easier.

Thursday, January 8, 2009 - Gettin' down to business

I stopped at the store last night and stocked up on some things.
Even though I am not strictly lowcarb, I am still incorporating some of the principles. I bought some oranges and some whole wheat English muffins. Since I am tracking points in combination with glycemic load (I have to watch that because of blood sugar issues), the English muffins are much less of a point hit than the bagels I was eating. I also love to freeze Dannon Light and Fit yogurt.
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I'm off to hit the treadmill and watch the half hour I missed of Biggest Loser.

Daily stats:
Type: Treadmill
Route: Manual controls
Time: 30
Average heart rate: 115
Max heart rate: 126
Calories burned: 220

While I was working out this morning, I watched the first half hour that I missed of Biggest Loser. I think the average person looks at people that big and wonders how they let it happen. Those of us who struggle know exactly how it happens. It happens one day at a time. And that's exactly how it has to come off.
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I am babystepping my way through my menus at the moment.

Thursday - January 8, 2009 - 27.5 points
Breakfast - 5.5 pts
Café Latte (1) Aunt Millie whole wheat English muffin (1.5) PB - 1 T (2.5)orange (1)
Snack - 1.5 pts
Dannon Light and Fit yogurt (1.5)
Lunch - 9 pts
½ Bush’s baked beans (2) 3 oz. Ground beef (6) Broccoli - 1 cup (1)
Snack - 1 pt
Kozy Shack tapioca (1)
Dinner - 4.5 pts
Coleslaw (made with 1 bag of coleslaw and ¼ cup mayo) (3 pts) Ham cut up and in coleslaw 2 slices(1.5)
Snack - 6 pts
Diet cocoa (1) M&M Plain chocolate candies ¼ cup (5)

Today is a carb up day so I get 2 starches before 3:00 pm.


One day at a time gets us there!
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Chillin' Out

Good morning, Losers!
Well, what did we all think of last night's Biggest Loser? I don't know about you, but when those people were running the bridge, I got very nervous about them having a heart attack. But then, these people are monitored. I was surprised at how fast some of them could move. I didn't see the first half hour so I didn't get to really know the contestants. I did tape it though so I'll watch it today.
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Today is a strength training day for me but it will be later tonight as I got a late start and my 2 little buddies, Clay and Claire, will be here in a while.
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I am still trying to finalize an eating plan. I need a break from lowcarb. I love lowcarb, but I have been straying way too much lately. For a while I am just going to keep my calories at a certain level and try to make better choices. I will probably keep track with WW points. Is anyone doing their new program? I'm curious about it.
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Well, I have to hit the shower but will check in later.

Good morning Losers!

I am pumped with one good day behind me. This is a quick check in because I have a meeting this morning and then I'm not sure how the rest of the day is going to go. Today is a carb down day. Here is my tentative menu for the day.

1. Café latte - ham and cheese roll up
2. Atkins bar - not the best choice, but very portable.
3. Taco salad if having lunch out
4. 2 sausage patties
5. Mock Danish
6. Coleslaw with ham
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I'm off to the treadmill:

Daily stats:
Type: Treadmill
Route: Manual controls
Time: 24
Average heart rate: 118
Max heart rate: 138
Calories burned: 175
Up .8 pound from last Tuesday
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9:45 pm
As I write this I am watching the new season of Biggest Loser. I can't believe the numbers these people are pulling. As I logged in here I found that our teams have been assigned. I am on Angie's team. At least here we don't get eliminated unless we don't weigh in. Right now the teams are deciding which of their partners are going home. I'm trying to imagine myself in that position. Would I want to stay instead of my partner? Thankfully I'm not in that position. But there is accountability - and that's what I need . I have to know that there are others in the same position who are rooting for me. I am off to read some of the blogs of my teammates.

Getting ready for the Biggest Loser challenge

Good morning everyone! I'm not waiting until the official start of the challenge. I am starting today. I have procrastinated enough. I can feel the effects of all of the sugar I have been ingesting lately. I have my workout clothes on and I am getting ready to head for the treadmill. It's a strength training day so I will be taking my weights with me. I love to go outside, but it is so cold and slippery that I am staying inside for the time being.

I used to post my daily stats on my other blog but I am moving them here now. I weigh everyday, but just to get a baseline on my fluctuations. I compare the weight to the previous week so I can get a better picture of my progress. My official weigh in days are on Sunday and that is the day I will update my ticker.

I am off to the treadmill

Daily stats:
Type: Treadmill
Route: Manual controls
Time: 30
Average heart rate: 121
Max heart rate: 147
Calories burned: 218
Up 1 pound from last Monday

Grrrr, the stats that I'm posting are my best guess. My HRM watch hinked up and I lost the data for my workout. It's probably pretty close because I check my HRM fairly often during the workout.

Today is a baseline day I follow my own version of the Wendy Chant program which is kind of a carb cycling rotation. She would laugh at my interpretation but it works for me.

Here is my menu for today:
1. Oatmeal and peanut butter (1/3 cup oatmeal - 1 T pb)
2. Atkins Shake
3. Cauliflower (1 cup) and cheese slice - cafe latte
4. Chicken salad wrap - yogurt
5. Cottage cheese - ½ cup
6. 2 egg omelet
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Evening update. I stayed on track today. Got lots of stuff done, but still have a ton more to do.
Getting ready to get into my jammies and have a cup of tea. I have an early day tomorrow - gotta be on the treadmill by 7:00.

Oh, and I almost forgot. I have my VCR set for the season premier of Biggest Loser. I have a meeting and will miss the first hour.

Nighty night, Losers!!

Today I joined the Biggest Loser Blog Challenge

I opened my blog this morning and what do I find, but a Biggest Loser challenge. I decided to keep a separate blog for my weight loss journey. I am at my wit's end dealing with this weight. I don't know what drives me to eat, but I need to figure it out and put an end to it. It seems like I have always had a problem with food, but at this stage of life I need to get a handle on it.

So, today I joined the Biggest Loser blog challenge. I'm really glad that I found it today because the signup ends tonight at midnight.

I am hoping that now that I only have one job, things will be a little easier and I can put myself in the priority line up.