I am so tired of dealing with this whole eating issue. I can't seem to stick to anything. Right now I am experimenting with "Intuitive Eating." The book is coming (I love Amazon used books!). I know that for me the issue isn't diet. It's why I eat. I know that a lot of my eating patterns were developed in childhood. When I was 12, my mother died - and eating is how I coped. But that default coping mechanism was in place before my mother died. In my young adult years, I dealt with the whole thing by smoking. Since I quit in 2000, I have been in a free-fall with this eating disorder. Everyone has problems, but people who have issues with food get to "wear" it and everyone can see. And everyone makes judgements. And everyone thinks they know what your problem is. And everyone judges your success in life by your size. And they do treat you differently.
Right now I am in a holding pattern with my weight. But I also have several mental issues going on. At my age, even if I were to lose the weight, I would have so much sagging skin. But that can be dealt with (and covered up.) When I look in the mirror, I am always surprised to see an aging fat woman. It's not how I see myself. I tend to be stuck thinking I am in my 40s and slightly overweight. But still and all, of all the crosses I could be bearing in life, I guess I would take this one.