Another stocking season ends

Now that we are done frantically making stockings for Santa to fill (and these are huge), there is a little more time to focus. I'm still busy, but this isn't the "beat a deadline" busy that we've been for the last 2 months.

We had "weigh-in" at the Biggest Loser (virtual) campus and I am down 3 pounds, but the game is really hinky. It has me losing 33 pounds, but says I've lost 3. I'm not sure this game is worth it. It isn't really all that interactive. The other day Nina called while the game was running and even though I sat down to talk to her, the game credited me for my workout. What's up with that? Plus, my Mii doesn't have my name. I think they need to go back to the drawing board with this one.

Virtual support - yeah!!!

An update on my progress. I haven't had much time to post or even to focus much. I have been in a holding pattern - not backtracking, but getting through the chaos that is my life in October and November. Our rash of craft shows is just about over. We have one more small one, but that isn't much to stress over. Now that life is settling down from the rush of trying to get stockings done, I can focus on me for a bit. I ordered the Biggest Loser game today. I had a bunch of Amazon gift certificates so I decided to give myself an anniversary present. "Anniversary?" you say. Yes. On November 28 I will be celebrating 9 years of being smoke free. So what better gift than the gift of fitness. I need people around me who are doing the same thing, but there isn't anyone at the moment. In the Biggest Loser game, you get to compete against virtual contestants, just like on TV. I can't wait for it to get here!

Do what you can

Hi all,
I know I have not posted regularly. This is our super busy time. But with all of that, I am keeping my Syrup Run goal in mind. I haven't been able to carve out time for formal exercise due to my lack of planning last summer. However, my workroom is located in the basement I make it a point to do several "ups and downs" throughout the day. My weight is slowly doing down. It seems that grandbabies are a good distraction from munching.

The quest continues

Hi all,
I have not abandoned the Syrup Run. I've been getting snips of exercise here and there, not to mention all the strength training I've gotten from hauling heavy loads up and down the stairs. I haven't had time to get a long workout in. Next week is our last craft show for November. I am looking forward to getting into a regular groove again.

Pressing on

I know it's been a few days since I posted, but I am still moving toward my goal of the Syrup Run. This is our really busy time of year - it's fun and gratifying, but I tend to fall behind on lots of stuff. I missed working out the last few days, but I have learned that progress - not perfection - is a good way to live. Food went off track over the weekend but I got back on yesterday and hopefully by tonight, will feel back to normal (my new normal). I'll get my workout in later in the afternoon.


Daily stats:
Workout type: Walk/jog
Route: Deadend and back
Distance: 1.5 miles
Time: 30 minutes
Wii Fit half moon pose,tree pose, downward dog
Calories burned:276
Temperature: 39 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise

Thoughts: I got out on the road at 5:15. It seems like I work really hard but my heart rate doesn't go up. I think it's the monitor. But it doesn't really matter. I just like to stay in a certain zone as far as my heartrate and I can pretty much feel it now.

Day 8 - Thursday

I will be doing an outside workout later today. For some reason I am craving stuff like salads. Could be because I have been seriously out of whack with my eating for quite a while. The weight is coming down rather quickly - when you cut back on sugar and starch, you lose the water that carbohydrates hold.

******Evening Update*********
Daily stats:
Workout type: Walk/jog
Route: Deadend and back
Distance: 1.5 miles
Time: 26 minutes
Wii Fit half moon pose and tree pose
Calories burned:236
Temperature: 39 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise

Thoughts: I got out on the road at about 5:15. I saw another whitetail in the exact same spot as on Tuesday night. I'm begining to enjoy doing my workout later in the day.

Wednesday - Day 7

Yesterday was a sugar free day and I can't believe how much better I feel. (I know, I'm not supposed to have sugar anyway, but I have been in denial lately) My joints have been aching and I have been moving like an old lady. This morning I woke up and couldn't believe the difference.

I have mixed feelings about this season's Biggest Loser. I don't understand why Tracey playing the game was such a big deal. Others have done it. Granted, she threw a couple of people under the bus, but she's not the first. I don't think you have the kind of family she has being the kind of person she has been portrayed as being. I thought she looked fantastic at the update. I actually would have liked to see Liz go. I think she's kind of snotty and it irks me the way she seems to take delight in the downfall of others. But that's just me. (Also, I could have done without all the "Obama" fawning - particularly on the part of Bob.) But it was kind of cool to see them make that huge salad. Made me actually crave a salad so today I am going to pick up some greens.

I'll get a workout in later today. I am way behind on stuff and this is early closing day at the post office. Updates later.

********Evening Update*************
In the course of hefting huge packs of water around I figure I got in a good workout today so I took it easy and did some stretching and balance games on the Wii fit. Wii Tillie says I'm 55 today. LOL! Also, that my weight is down. Whooo hooo! (but I knew that anyway because I weighed in this morning).

Day 6 - Tuesday

Daily stats:
Workout type: Walk/jog
Route: Deadend and back
Distance: 1.5 miles
Time: 24 minutes
Wii Fit half moon pose and tree pose
Calories burned:236
Temperature: 39 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise

Thoughts: I got out on the road at about 5:35. It's getting dark a lot earlier now, but it was a great workout. Saw 2 whitetail deer near the deadend. They took off into the corn field.

Day 5 - Monday

Today I have Maddie so my workout will be in the afternoon. I will update later.

*************************************
Evening update:

Daily stats:
Workout type: Treadmill walk/jog/incline
Route: Workout room
Distance: N/A
Time: 30 minutes
Wii Fit plus routine: Yoga for stretching, and strength training
Calories burned:411
Temperature: 44 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise

Thoughts: I got on the treadmill about 7:00 pm. Finished one movie (Love Comes Softly) and started another (Home Alone). I don't know why I love that movie, but watching it always kicks off Christmas season for me. The yoga from Wii Fit plus is great for a post workout stretch.

First day of November

Daily stats:
Workout type: Treadmill walk/jog/incline
Route: Workout room
Distance: N/A
Time: 30 minutes
Wii Fit plus routine: Yoga for stretching, and strength training
Calories burned:328
Temperature: 50 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise

Thoughts: I worked out on the treadmill today because I wanted to finish watching the movie I started yesterday. :)
Later I got another workout when Harold and I went to Anna's to help rake leaves.
It was a good day.

Craft Show

No workout this morning. We have a craft show at the Methodist Church. I'm going to try to hit the treadmill later tonight if we don't end up having a family night.

Day 2

Daily stats:
Workout type: Treadmill walk/jog/incline
Route: Workout room
Distance: N/A
Time: 30 minutes
Wii Fit plus routine: Yoga for stretching, and strength training
Calories burned:313
Temperature: 52 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise

Thoughts: Normally I have morning mass on Fridays with the school kids. They're off today so I am too! I got on the treadmill about 10:00. Popped a movie into the DVD player and spent a pleasant 30 minutes walking, jogging, lifting weights, and doing incline work. Wii Tillie says my weight is up today so I need to watch the food intake, but for now I am concentrating on being consistent in working out.

Day 1 of Project Syrup Run

Yep, I've changed the name of my blog. I am changing my focus from weight loss (although I still plan to lose weight) to training for the Shepherd Maple Syrup run. I ran this race in 2007 and I would like to run it again in April. If I start now, I should be able to get into fairly decent shape by then. Since this is Thursday, my workout is in the morning.

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/east edge of cornfield/back
Distance: 1 3/4 miles
Time: 31 minutes
Wii Fit plus routine: Yoga for stretching, and strength training
Calories burned:320
Temperature: 47 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise

Thoughts: I got out on the road at 9:15 am. I am really out of shape. My focus is to keep my HRM at 121 BPM. My short term goal is to get out there at least 6 days a week.

Lovely day!

Okay, so I'm minding my own business, sleeping peacefully, and the boom box in our spare bedroom suddenly starts blaring. It's not a radio alarm. There is no reason that it should have turned on. I never ever use this boom box. Spooky. So, I couldn't go back to sleep. I got up and got my tush out for an early morning walk. My HRM was hinky, but it was a different one that I haven't used in a while.

Hmmmm.

Coasting coasting

Good morning,
I know that I have been awol for quite a while. Life has been insanely busy and I really still haven't adjusted to being home. I've kind of been holding my own, trying to get my head together. Food hasn't been bad, but sheesh, when you get out of the exercise habit, it's very hard to get back in. I've worked out here and there, but what I need to do is get a schedule. I used to just be able to get up in the morning and get it over with, but it's not possible to do that now. I am a creature of habit so I have to make a schedule and make it a habit to follow it.

I've been watching Biggest Loser. Seems like every season they have to pick one person to gang up on - just to keep the drama going. Tracey is excellent in that role. She is so maddeningly passive agressive.

Last summer I found out that I have cataracts. I will have to get those taken care of and then lately I have been having symptoms of carpal tunnel in my left hand. Not a good situation for a church organist. Good grief, when did I get old???

Still working on day 1

I am still working on day 1 in the "100 Days of Wweight Loss" book - which means it will end up being more than 100 days. My struggle lately has been getting exercise in. Not that I don't have time, but I can't do it first thing in the morning which has always been my thing. Tonight I decided to change it up and go out in the evening. Let me tell you, evening is much harder. I felt aches and pains that I never had in the morning. So I took it a bit easier. I needed to get that one evening workout in so I couldn't use missing morning exercise as an excuse any more.

Day 1 - I used to be that way

I started a new book last night called "100 Days of Weight Loss" by Linda Spangle. It's not a "diet" book, but a book about changing what's going on in your head. You choose your own plan of eating. Each day there are mental exercises that get you thinking about your relationship with food. Today's exercise is designed to get you past those defeatest negative voices in our heads. "I haven't done it yet, so why do I think I can do it now?" This is stinkin' thinkin'. I smoked for 30 years, yet I quit, so not doing something in the past is not a valid reason for not doing it now.
We are to make a list of defeatest behaviors and give them a new ending. Write them as if they are true and they soon will be. Here are some of mine. I will probably add to them as the day goes on and I continue to think about this exercise.
I used to _________________________________, but now I _____________________________.

1. I used to binge eat when I felt helpless, but now I find something that needs straightening and I straighten it. (drawers, closets, etc. - all of these are within my control)

2. I used to turn a slip up into a full-flown binge, but now I forgive myself and just get back on track.

3. I used to snack while at the computer, but now I keep a bottle of water there instead.

4. I used to use food to procrastinate doing tasks I don't like, but now I set the timer for 15 minutes and just get the task started. (I found that getting started was the part I really hated.)

5. I used to punish myself for failures, but now I find reasons to reward myself.

6. I used to be my own worst enemy, but now I am learning to be my own best friend.

The book instructs me to think about these things often during the day. When a negative thought creeps in, it is to immediately be replaced by:

"I used to be that way, but now I'm different."

Diets don't work?

Actually most diets do work - while you're on them. I'm reading a book right now called the "Diet Survivors Handbook." I'm not really finding anything new in it as yet. I know that until I change my relationship with food, I am never going to be able to get rid of this weight. So I read, hoping to find the magic bullet. You know what? There isn't one. My issues with food began long ago when I was a kid. Somewhere I learned that food would fix any hurt, celebrate any joy, fill any void. It's chic these days to blame parents who used food as a reward. I really don't think that's the problem. Lots of kids had parents who bribed them with food. Not all of them became obese. And anyway, I'm a big girl now. I am the one who decides what I put in my mouth.

Another good one is to blame people who enable us by putting food in front of us that isn't "on our diet." Unless these people are actually shoving it in your mouth, it's not an excuse. We enable ourselves. When someone "talks" us into eating something, it's more a matter of them echoing what we are already telling ourselves. If a big piece of liver was sitting in front of me, there isn't a person in the world who could bribe, cajole, or threaten me into eating it. I think inside each of us is a bit of the little kid that never grew up. And for each of us it is manifested in different issues in our lives. For some it's food, for some it's people pleasing, and for some it's workaholism or some other "ism." We use those "isms" to rebel when we feel helpless, to comfort ourselves when we're lonely, to substitute for the positive reinforcement we may not receive when we badly need it. For those of us with food issues, we often "wear" the manifestation. Long after we may have healed our relationship with food, we still wear the armor that labels us.

Lately, the stinkin' thinkin' that has crept into my brain goes something like this: "You're old anyway. Even if you lose the weight, your "pretty" days are behind you." But you know what, I don't spend a large part of my day worrying about being pretty. That was a focus for a different time in my life. Now I am more concentrated on longevity, on health, on being able to move around - and excess weight isn't good for any of that. As Jinx, Diane,Ida and many others who read my blog have pointed out - weight robs me of time, of choices, of quality of life. I love spending time with the grandkids. I love making soap, candles, and quilts. That's what I need to think about when I'm tempted to indulge in what I want now instead of what I really want for my life.

Anyway, that's where my head is at today. Have a great weekend!

I love Thursdays

I don't know why I love Thursdays - I just do.
Probably because I usually have nothing planned and it's a kind of "my day."
I'm still battling the food demon. I tend to be an emotional eater and when I don't feel like I'm being taken care of, that's how I cope. I am trying to re-program my thinking so that I deal with things in a more practical way, but it's hard and some days I don't quite get there. But I think I'm making progress in learning to give myself what I need instead of looking for it from others.

****************************************************
I think today I need to get rid of the gray. While I am waiting for Miss Clairol to work her magic, I am going to do a workout video. My commitment to exercise has been seriously lacking and a lot of it is my "all or nothing" mentality. If it isn't 45 minutes outdoors, it isn't worth doing. Rubbish. Any movement is good and it is consistency that counts. So, off I go.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

We got home last night in time for me to watch the weigh-ins. Good job gang! I'm glad no one had to go home. I haven't been able to see the first part of the episodes so far so I'm not really connected all that much with the characters. Apparently there are some negative feelings toward Julio and I have no idea what that's all about.

My weigh-in was pretty good. I'm down 3.2 for a percentage of .013

It is Tuesday - :)

I am so bummed. I won't be able to see Biggest Loser tonight. It will be the first time I have ever missed an episode. Can't even tape it because of the digital switchover. drats!!! Guess I'll have to check it out online tomorrow morning.

A new season of Biggest Loser begins

Last night began Season 8 of Biggest Loser. There is no family challenge going on. I miss having the family support. This season I am going to align myself with the contestants. I will weigh in on Wednesday mornings and report my percentage and compare it with the weigh-ins from the previous night.

I've been researching various plans. My favorite is Atkins, but I just can't seem to stick to it. But I need some kind of carb controlled plan. My joints have been aching and I know it is the sugar I have been consuming. For me, sugar is an inflammatory and the hard reality is that I am going to have to cut it out of my life. I have finally decided on the Belly Fat Cure. It limits sugar to 15 grams and total carbs to 120. That seems doable for me.

So my initial weigh-in 133

For now, my exercise is going to have to be limited to weights because my left foot is giving me grief. Getting off sugar should take care of that.

Since the digital switch, I can't tape the episodes of Biggest Loser any more. :( I have a meeting on Tuesday nights so I will be missing the first hour each week. But my great daughter-in-law said she would tape that for me. Next week I will miss it entirely because we have a wedding to attend.

Blah, Blah, Blah

I am so tired of dealing with this whole eating issue. I can't seem to stick to anything. Right now I am experimenting with "Intuitive Eating." The book is coming (I love Amazon used books!). I know that for me the issue isn't diet. It's why I eat. I know that a lot of my eating patterns were developed in childhood. When I was 12, my mother died - and eating is how I coped. But that default coping mechanism was in place before my mother died. In my young adult years, I dealt with the whole thing by smoking. Since I quit in 2000, I have been in a free-fall with this eating disorder. Everyone has problems, but people who have issues with food get to "wear" it and everyone can see. And everyone makes judgements. And everyone thinks they know what your problem is. And everyone judges your success in life by your size. And they do treat you differently.

Right now I am in a holding pattern with my weight. But I also have several mental issues going on. At my age, even if I were to lose the weight, I would have so much sagging skin. But that can be dealt with (and covered up.) When I look in the mirror, I am always surprised to see an aging fat woman. It's not how I see myself. I tend to be stuck thinking I am in my 40s and slightly overweight. But still and all, of all the crosses I could be bearing in life, I guess I would take this one.

Feeling the hunger

I got out on the road at about 10:30. It was great; a little warmer than yesterday.

I started reading one of the books I ordered. I can't think of the name at the moment, but it's by Geneen Roth. The chapter I'm reading talks about knowing what hunger feels like. I don't very often get hungry. I should say, I don't let myself get hungry very often. The exercise in this chapter is to keep track of when you eat and whether you are hungry. So today I actually felt hungry twice!

Renewed and refreshed

I ended up going outside for my workout yesterday. It felt great to get outside. Food wasn't as good as it could have been, but not nearly as bad as it has been.
I got out on the road at 8:30 this morning and my route was a little different. I went to Sam's (dropped off some baby formula) and then down the deadend and back. Checked the garden when I got back. Found a tomato. The rest are all still green. Lots of peppers, squash, and pumpkin.

Is it fall yet?

It sure feels like it. Many schools are starting, or getting ready to. Several of the Shepherd students have been posting about Cross Country. It's September. A time for a new beginning. I am sitting here in my workout clothes so I will be doing something today. I'm not sure yet if it will be indoors or outdoors. It's gorgeous out!

I have an Amazon credit card and I ordered several books on compulsive eating disorder. I am so ready to deal with this. But I am not going to set any grandiose goals. I know myself too well. Tomorrow I could be AWOL again. But for today I am going to try my darndest to stay on track.

Where is my happy place?

Sorry about the inconsistent postings here. I am not in a very good place regarding diet and exercise. I am going to wait this out and hope it gets better.

Monday - I actually like Mondays - always have.

As I write this I have some home-grown cauliflower drizzled with olive oil and seasoned with garlic and lemon pepper salt roasting in the oven. The house smells like an Italian bistro - reminiscent of my Grandma Caputo's kitchen.

My "off plan" meal did happen yesterday - and it morphed from a meal into the whole day. But that was yesterday. Today I am back on track. I going to try getting my workout in later today. That hasn't always worked well in the past, but I am going to have to do at least 2 of my workouts later in the day if I'm going to develop any kind of consistent routine.

I think part of the reason I have been struggling is that my day has not been structured since I left the school. Lately I have developed an afternoon work schedule that seems to be working out well. Now I have to fine-tune my mornings - and that involves some flexibility. I am not comfortable with flexibility so I am going to try and develop some kind of predictable flexibility - kind of like a PLAN A and a PLAN B.

One day at a time

I'm at day three back on Atkins - not induction - just Atkins. I'm staying at around 60 carbs or less. The cravings are gone again. I never had cravings go away on Atkins, but the Metformin seems to take care of that. However, if I don't stick to lowcarb, there isn't enough Metformin on the planet to off the cravings. I am allowing myself one off plan meal a week if I should need it. The key is "if I should need it." Sometimes there are just no options. But without a game plan, an off plan meal becomes a cheat and we all know that once we cheat, we just keep on cheating. (This was formerly called a "rest stop.") Just gotta have that safety net to protect me from that "all or nothing" mentality. Today I have a wedding shower. I have no idea what will be served. I may have to use my "one off-plan meal" today, but the goal is not to. I have a protein bar and a package of almonds in my purse so I should be good to go.

The workouts have gone by the wayside. I just can't seem to get out of bed early enough to get them in and if they don't happen first thing in the morning, they don't happen. I think once I get some kind of morning routine going, it will get better. In a couple of weeks I will be watching little Maddie on Mondays and Tuesdays. Those are going to have to be "later in the day" workouts or "get my butt out of bed early" workouts.

My motivation has slipped in the last couple of weeks and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I am realizing that I am now very close to being a senior citizen. It's funny how age creeps up on you. Mentally I still feel like I'm in my 40s, but there are days that I get bodily reminders that I am closer to 60 than I ever thought I would be. I'm fairly contented with my life now so the days just seem to slide by before I realize it.

I'm melllllllllllting!

Gonna be another hot and humid day. I was out walking at 7:00 this morning. I have goofed around too much and now Diet Power has cut my calorie allotment to 1269. Add to that my 276 calories from this morning's walk and today I get a grand total of a little over 1500. The walk/jog this morning was great. It poured last night so some of the humidity was down, but not much. It was early enough that it wasn't overly hot out yet.

Fridays, they ain't what they used to be

LOL! Now that I'm semi-retired, Friday for me isn't really like Friday for other folks. My work week usually begins with the weekend and ends on Thursday - so I guess Wednesday would be like my Friday.

I wrote yesterday that I am in the process of finding a program I can live with. No matter what I do, it can't be a temporary thing. We all know that doesn't work. I know I will end up doing some sort of carb controlled plan because of my blood sugar issues. As I mentioned in yesterday's blog, I am using Diet Power's recommendations as far as calories go because I don't want to gain weight while I am figuring all of this out. This will also give me a chance to use up some of the stuff I have around here. (I love Quaker Oat Squares) I broke down and ordered the upgrade. I was a bit bummed because my old program had all sorts of custom foods that I had entered and I wasn't able to import them into the new program. I do like the new program though and can go back and forth from this machine to my laptop with a special "travel" folder. If you enter your foods faithfully and log your weigh-ins, Diet Power figures out your metabolism and your calorie needs. I have to have some kind of concrete numerical boundaries because I also have compulsive eating issues.

Brrrrrrr!

At the moment there is a huge, honkin' fan smack dab in the middle of the back doorway. The idea is to cool off the house. It's doin' its job. In a few minutes I am headed out the door. I am hoping today that my HRM will not go hinky on me. I changed the battery the other day so it should be good to go. It's a little alarming to see it jump to 250 when all I'm doing is walking and then see it register 116 when I am hustling. I am still floundering around trying to come up with a plan I can live with. For now I am following Diet Power's recommendations as far as calories go. I will most likely end up with Sugar Busters/Glycemic Load (they're pretty much the same in that they both tend to be just like Atkins Maintenance.

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/rock pile/back
Distance: 1 3/4 miles
Time: 32 minutes
Average HR: Still getting some weird readings
Maximum HR: Still getting some weird readings
Calories burned:306
Temperature: 69 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Thoughts: Got out on the road at about 8:10. It was a nice walk/jog.

Good morning!

I managed to get out of bed at 6:15 this morning. That's always the hardest part of the day. Once I'm up I'm good to go, but it's that initial getting up part that is the challenge. It's kind of like when we used to go to the lake as kids. That first plunge into water was always a shock. I'm headed out for a walk/jog. Later.

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/rock pile/back
Distance: 1 3/4 miles
Time: 32 minutes
Average HR: battery needs changing
Maximum HR: battery needs changing
Calories burned:306
Temperature: 69 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Thoughts: I got out on the road at a little after 8:00. Checked the garden for zucchini before I left. I found 2. Headed up toward the dead-end and found a rock for my flower bed. It was quite heavy so I got a little strength training in. Found another rock on the way back. Now I'm off to get rid of the gray.

AWOL

I know I haven't gotten back into the groove of posting here yet. Vacation Bible School threw me off this week. I know that's an excuse, but haven't really had a chance to get back into the groove since coming back from Alaska.

Speaking of VBS - one of the group leader there has lost 50 pounds on Weight Watchers. She looks fantastic. I went to the dentist the other day and one of the receptionists there has lost over 70 pounds on Atkins. I know there are proponents of each plan, but I think the key is finding what you can stay with. I'm still trying to figure out what I need to do. I feel best on lowarb, but find it very hard to get back on track when I mess up. I am taking it one day at a time and doing the best I can each day.

Oh what a beautiful morning!

Looks like it's going to be a gorgeous day. I am finishing up my blogging and getting ready to go out for a fabulous walk/jog. (mini goal - working up to jog/walk)

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/rock pile/back
Distance: 1 3/4 miles
Time: 31 minutes
Average HR: 123
Maximum HR: 135
Calories burned:306
Temperature: 61 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Thoughts:Got out on the road at 8:00 this morning. Watered the garden before I left and found spaghetti squash at the edge of the cornfield! My knees were a bit stiff this morning so I took it a little slower. There were lots and lots of deer tracks up by the deadend - they must be attracted by the field of corn on the south side of the road.

There's no place like home - and a renewed determination

When we were on the Alaskan cruise, there were plenty of opportunities to catch full-length glimpses of oneself. There were several elevator trips during the course of each day and each elevator had full-length mirrors in them. I used them as a reminder not to overindulge in the cruise cuisine. One could eat 24 hours a day if one were so inclined. Thanks to the constant reminders that I am not a skinny person, I did pretty well. I promised myself several times a day that upon returning home, I would be much more vigilant in my workout and diet. I slept in until 9:00 yesterday, but since we were up all night the night before due to a red-eye flight out of Anchorage, I think I can be excused.

This morning the alarm went off at 6:00 and I was out of bed on the first hop. I have completed my blog, memorized the Gospel of the day and am ready to head out.

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/rock pile/back
Distance: 1 3/4 miles
Time: 31 minutes
Average HR: 123
Maximum HR: 135
Calories burned:300
Temperature: 59 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Thoughts:
I jogged nonstop the first 15 minutes. I haven't done that in a long time! It felt good to get out again. It was hazy and a bit humid, but the walk/jog was great!!

Back from Alaska

Ohhhhhh, it is sooooo good to be home. After a week on a cruise and 2 weeks on the road with eating not structured or monitored as it should have been, I am happy to report that I came home .8 pounds lighter than when I left. I am going to have to hustle to meet my goal of finishing my first lap by September 15 - but now that the huge trip is behind us (and all the anticipitory stress associated with it) it should be clear sailing for a while.

Six more days! I am eager to get home.

Hi, it's me from Alaska. If you would like to read about our trip, you can do it here:
My Sugar Bush blog

If you would like to see some of the pictures from our trip, you can do it here:
Our Alaska Trip

The password is visitor

Greetings from Anchorage

Hi Everyone,
this is the first time I've been able to get on to do any posts here. I probably won't be able to be on much during the trip. I will be back to regular blogging on July 30. We have finished our cruise and are not motoring around Alaska.

Here is a pic of the College glaciers near Whittier.

Off we go!

North to Alaska a-go north the rush is on

Good morning, Loser fans! The countdown is at 2 days now. We head out on Tuesday morning. Lots to do between now and then. The scale has not been kind to me that last couple of days. But then, that's because I keep forgetting to take my nighttime dose of my meds. I woke up with a splitting headache and a fbs of 126. For me, that is a high number. I like it to be under 100 in the morning.
Cue the weigh-in music:
230.2
I'm up a pound and a quarter from last Sunday. Jillian is screaming, Bob's jaw drops. Allison wants to know if I know what happened this week. Ummmm, yeah. I dropped the ball.

Today's challenge: Stay the course. Do what needs to be done. Keep focused on today.

Biggest Loser heads for Alaska

LOL! At least my version of it does. My intention is to come home from Alaska weighing less than when we headed out there. Last night Harold was checking out the cruise and port excursions. He was looking at a trip on a helipcopter. He asked me if I weighed over 250. Hmmmmmmm. Do I LOOK like I'm over 250? I'm going to assume that he is not very good at judging weight and leave it at that. Didn't make me feel very good, though. Anyway, today's Biggest Loser challenge is to stay the course while getting the fridge cleaned out and suitcases packed.

While Harold was looking at cruise info, he checked out the menus. Shouldn't be too hard to stay on track with what I saw listed.

The fridge is done. All perishable and questionable food has been disposed of. We don't need to come home to "new growth" in the refrigerator. Suitcases have been measured for flight requirements and the packing process has begun. I will be taking my food diary, water bottle, supplements and emergency supplies with me. I am packing for one week, although we will be gone for 3, but hopefully there are laundromats in Alaska. I packed a bottle of Apple Jack 'n Peel room spray so I don't get too homesick. :)

Remember that I said I mapped out the journey to goal? I am on track so far even though I have strayed a bit. I have set a pace of .2 pounds per day and I am still ahead of the game - even with the side trips.

Another Thursday in mid-Michigan

I was up insanely early this morning. I'm sure that means I'll be grabbing a nap later. It is less than a week until we leave for our trip. I'm still a little nervous about being away from home so long. Little Madison will be practically grown up by the time we get back. I think I'll head out early for a walk. I haven't been out this early in a long time.

It's all in your mind.

I've been on a slippery slope the last couple of days. My focus is slipping - part of it is due to the trip coming up. I don't do well with spontaneity and the unexpected. When I was working at the school, I had an established routine. Now that Harold and I are both around the house more, I am still having trouble adjusting. I like to have a morning routine. I get up, I blog, I workout, then I get on with my day. Now I often find Harold on the computer when I get up and there's nothing wrong with that, but it throws me off. I see the same tendencies in my grandson. We both need to learn to be more flexible.

The state of the world is also affecting my focus. And not only that, it's in my face 24/7. It's there when I turn on the radio, it's there when I turn on the TV, it's there when I open my email. If I refuse to think about it 24/7 and if I refuse to wallow in misery, I am accused of sticking my head in the sand. I am such a wimp when it comes to defending myself. I have to get angry before I will do anything and I refuse to live my life in a state of anger. I don't feel as if there are many people I can trust. Recently I had an incident where something I confided to a friend was brought up and thrown in my face to prove a point. That was, to me, the ultimate betrayal and you can bet it won't be happening again. I don't like games, and I don't like constant drama. I have never named names when it comes to people in my life who are causing me grief, so if you are reading this and think I am referring to you, then maybe you need to ask yourself why it is striking a chord with you. I will not - I repeat - WILL NOT censor my blog anymore. I am tired of second guessing myself with regard to what I write. This is MY blog.

As they say in OA - my recovery has to be my top priority because without it, I am useless in serving others. I struggle with this because I don't put myself first easily, and I have been conditioned to feel as if putting myself first is selfish. But I can't be there for others if I don't take care of me. That doesn't mean I concentrate only on myself and my needs - it means I do what I need to do so that I can offer my best to others.

Recently our bishop spoke at one of our Lenten soup suppers. The theme was social justice. He said something to the effect that we need to be good stewards of our time, to make sure we take care of our needs and the needs of our families so that we are there to help others. I took this to mean that we do what needs to be done. Others who heard it interpreted it to mean that we take care of ourselves to the exclusion of other people. I found that interesting. Given the bishop we have, or rather had (he's been named Archbishop and will soon be leaving us), I don't know how anyone could have misconstrued what he said.

Anyway, enough of that. I needed to vent and I've been suppressing that for several weeks. No more!

I am off to go for a walk on this blessedly chilly morning.
Later.
***********************************************
Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/Brown's path
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 32 minutes
Average HR: 120
Maximum HR: 142
Calories burned:315
Temperature: 63 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Thoughts:
Great workout today! I'm using my Momentum HRM at the moment and I think I like it better than the Sigma. It's much more accurate at tracking calories and it doesn't lose data unless it is removed from the chest strap. I think this is the one I will take to Alaska.

Sunday Weigh-in - June 28, 2009

Well, I took a side road again this week. I am up a pound at 228.8. I've strayed a bit with food, not the type, but the amount. I am eating when I'm not really hungry. I think I'm a little stressed (but also excited) about our 3 week trip. I've never been away from home that long and it makes me nervous. So much of my life is intertwined with the family and we'll be away quite a while. However, the trip has absolutely nothing to do with today. It's back to that old "dimple in the golf ball" thing - just focusing on what I need to do today. Normal people don't get this, but I'm betting that most of my readers do. (not that you aren't normal, but that you probably share the same struggle). Anyway, from now until we leave, I am only going to focus on what I need to do TODAY. My short term goal is to be fully back on track when we leave for Alaska.

The good news is that when I began this lap, I set up a spread sheet for weight loss. I am exactly on target. Of course before today, I was ahead of the game but that's okay. According to my spread sheet, I should finish my first lap of the journey on September 15. Focus Focus Focus!!!!!

Dog days of summer

Was it just a couple of weeks ago that we were complaining about the cold? I don't really mind days like this if I don't have to be around people. However, I did not get outside this morning. It was just tooooooooo hot.

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/back
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 30 minute117
Maximum HR: 132
Calories burned:225
Temperature: 81 degrees

Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Thoughts:
Hot and humid here again today. It's already 81 degrees. Harold rigged fans again so it's not too bad in the house. We don't want to put in the air conditioner until we get back from Alaska.

Summer has arrived

Morning update:
It's hot and humid here in mid-Michigan. At the moment the temp is 66 so Harold has rigged up fans to pull in the cool air. I'm headed out for my walk/jog.
Updates later.

Note to Ida: Thanks, Sweetie - I really appreciate the support!! (The scale was back down this morning.)

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Leaton/Peak's/back
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 32 minutes
Average HR: 122
Maximum HR: 137
Calories burned:250
Temperature: 68 degrees

Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Thoughts:
It was muggy out this morning. The workout felt great, but it was warm. I took a different route today - I went west instead of east.

Sunday weigh-in-June 14, 2009 - Happy Father's Day

227.8 That's up .8 from last Sunday. I'm not exactly sure why because when I weighed in yesterday, it was a new low. Oh well, I do not get bent about what's on the scale when I know I'm doing what I'm supposed to. I'm headed out for a walk/jog in a few minutes.

Hope Floats

I'm not sure if I mentioned that I am part of a challenge run by Jinx(Deb) at "Finding the Runner in Me." We have all been assigned froggies. The name of the challenge is "Hope Floats." As we take off the pounds, our little froggies float a little higher. My poor little froggie lost ground this week. But that's okay. It wasn't much and the general trend is downward. I set a weight loss schedule for myself based on a slow and steady loss of .2 pounds per day. That would put me at goal on Sept 11, 2010. It would be nice to be able to mark that date with something positive rather than what we all remember on that date. I set up a spread sheet to project my progress and so far I am ahead of schedule. I have set a very slow loss because at my age skin doesn't shrink as well (if at all). I don't want to lose weight only too look like a shriveled up prune. LOL!

I'm headed out for a run this morning. I am going to attempt to jog the whole way, but we will see what happens.
*********************************************
Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/back
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 32 minutes
Average HR: 123
Maximum HR: 137
Calories burned:230
Temperature: 68 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Thoughts:
I don't know why it's so hard to make myself get out in the mornings. I feel so great when it's done. You would think that would be motivation enough. Oh, well, I got out there this morning. I didn't jog the whole way, though. Soon enough. Soon enough.

Check up results

Well, I saw Lisa yesterday (nurse practitioner) and she was very pleased with my progress. I was down 5 pounds from the last visit, my numbers were good and she says I'm doing exactly what I need to do to avoid the complications of diabetes.

To make the day even better, on the way home Sam called to let me know that little Madison had arrived. I went home to drop of my stuff and join Harold to go back up there. I can't describe what it was like to see my youngest choked up over the birth of his and Kelli's little one. There just aren't any words.

We, of course, took pictures and I was pleased to see that the one of Madison and me turned out well. I can see that the bloat in my face is slowly disappearing. For now I take joy in the little things - like grandbabies. LOL!

I love Mondays - and now I'll tell you why!!!

I think today is going to be a very good day.
I was up early today for some reason. I misread the alarm clock so here I am - posting away. I have another Dr. appointment this afternoon to see how I'm doing with my blood sugar. I'm embarrassed to tell Lisa that I went through my first prescription so fast due to totally misunderstanding how often I was supposed to test. This looks like a lovely morning to get outside for a workout. The temperature is 51 - a little chilly for the middle of June, but just right for a run (or a walk/jog) LOL! Back later.

Update and breaking news:
Perhaps you noticed a new theme to my blog today.
Okay, here is what I didn't tell you this morning. At 5:45 am Sam called to tell us that Kelli's water broke and they were at the hospital. At about 3:30 pm he called to tell me that little Madison Marie was born. 6 lbs 15 oz. 20" long. She was born at 2:18 pm.

*******************************************************

Sunday weigh-in-June 14, 2009

227 today. That's down 3.8 from last Sunday. I'm looking forward to getting out of the 220s. I'm not seeing much in the way of change. I did notice something, though. You know how when you wash your jeans, when you first put them on they're a little snug for a few minutes? Mine aren't so that's a bit of a non scale victory.

It's amazing to me how we don't really see ourselves as we are. It's always a shock to see myself in pictures. It's not at all how I see myself - I still have a picture of myself from 15 years ago. And that this is a temporary weight gain. It's been temporary for quite a while now. But then I look at old pictures when I used to think I was so big and see that I really wasn't.

I used to "diet" for an event, the most recent being the weddings of our kids. One's been married 7 years, one 4 years, and one 2 years. I never even made a dent in my loss. I know now that one can't diet for an event and hope to keep it off. I now look at my way of eating as a permanent change. I finally feel sane around food. I know longer look at foods in terms of cheating or not cheating. For me that is setting myself up for failure. I have a way of eating that is my norm. Occasionally I eat something that is not the norm. This eliminates the all or nothing mentality that has dogged me for years. (I cheated, might as well live it up and start again tomorrow.) In a way, the diagnosis of insulin resistance has been a huge blessing. It removes a lot of the gray areas that have caused me to never find my way to the end of the path.

Tuning out the Nattering Naybobs of Negativity

I wrote on my other blog about self-doubt, fear, and other obstacles that get in our way. I was listening to a program about this. One of the analogies was that of a golfer and focusing on the dimples in the ball to tune out the "noise." That's kind of where I have evolved with this whole weight loss thing. I have had discouraging comments made to me. To be fair, I have vowed over and over to get rid of this weight - that is true. But telling someone "you haven't done it yet, what makes you think you're going to do it now," isn't really helpful in any way. Someone actually said that to me. And it hurt. But worse, I have said it to myself. What I do now is just quash thoughts and comments by focusing on my little runner girl. I don't even look at the poundage lost except in terms of being able to move her farther down the road. And what is interesting is that while I have been focusing on the "dimples in the ball" my goal has moved ever closer.

Sometimes I love the feeling that I have a secret. My weight loss thus far is not showing. When we are losing weight there seems to be a point where suddenly everyone notices. In a way, I am dreading that because sometimes that can have a negative effect. I can think I have arrived, when I am still really on the journey. But that is when I will shift my gaze to the little running girl. I am enjoying the journey so there really is no reason to rush it.

I did a 10 minute stint from one of my workout videos. They are short little workouts that you can do when you don't have the time or the inclination to do a full workout. My intent this week is to do at least "something" every day, whether it be a stint or a run.

Wishing you all well in your journey.

***************************************************

And she's off . . . . . . . .

See my little running girl? She has passed the halfway mark on lap one of my personal marathon. You don't get numbers until Sunday, but I move my little runner each time I hit a new low - no matter what day it is. I am going to have to be much more disciplined in going to bed before midnight. I think I procrastinate going to bed because those couple of hours are all mine. No phone calls, etc. But I get up too late in the morning to get outside. So that's what I'm working on.

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/brown's path/back
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 32 minutes
Average HR: 121
Maximum HR: 144
Calories burned:250
Temperature: 51 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Thoughts:
It was nice out this morning. I saw a lot of deer tracks, but no deer. It's still very chilly for June. Wonder if it will warm up by the time summer is officially here!

The water weight from Saturday's MSG fest is finally gone. I ran out of lancets last week and couldn't figure out why I hadn't received my refills. Turns out I am only supposed to test once a day. I went through them too fast. Today was a fasting blood sugar day and it was 104. Higher than I'd like it, but not as bad as I feared.

Now I just need to get back into the exercise groove.

Harold bought a camera yesterday for our Alaska trip. He took some candid shots of me (and still he lives) and I wasn't too thrilled with the pics. It's a neat camera though.

Sunday weigh-in - June 7, 2009

230.8
Ugh, I'm up 2.6 this week. We had a wedding yesterday - lots of Oriental food and a table full of my nemesis - Chocolate. Add to that the fact that I messed up on my meds this week and also ran out of lancets and test strips. (Not excusing myself here, because I should have sucked it up and toughed it out.) Anyway, back on track today. I will not eat ice cream and cake at Kelli and Sam's today. Not even the no sugar added kind. I need to remember that this isn't about vanity any more.

Yesterday morning, I headed up to Island Park in Mt. Pleasant. Melisa has been coaching a group of girls from Shepherd in the "Girls on the Run" program. I have been watching Clay and Claire 2 times a week since the program started. It was a totally cool event. Hundreds of little girls with hair spray painted all kinds of colors participated. I couldn't find Melisa until the race started and the groups were called. But then I wasn't looking for a blue-haired Melisa. I even missed seeing my little buddy Alli Peak because I didn't recognize her with her rainbow colored hair. It was great to see Melisa running with her group of girls. A year ago she couldn't have done it because of her health. I think I would like to run with the girls next year. We shall see.

Duh!!!!

Morning update:
The last few days I have experienced the return of cravings and my weight going up along with my glucose readings. I couldn't figure out why. Then as I fell asleep last night it came to me. I keep all of my supplements and meds in a big ceramic strawberry. I fill my weekly pill container from it. But . . . I keep my metformin separate because I have to take it at night too. I didn't put my morning dose in my pill keeper because it wasn't in the strawberry. So I had inadvertently decreased my dosage. I guess a medication only works if you take it.
*************************************************
Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/stone pile/back
Distance: 1.5 miles
Time: 27 minutes
Average HR: 119
Maximum HR: 133
Calories burned:206
Temperature: 62 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Thoughts:
Beautiful day out today!

Well, as predicted, the scale was down this morning. Isn't that always the way? But that's okay. I finally feel like a normal person when it comes to food. I can't ever remember feeling that way. When I smoked, the cigarettes kept me from eating - that's the closest I ever remember to feeling normal when it came to food.

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/stone pile/back
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 312 minutes
Average HR: 122
Maximum HR: 140
Calories burned:239
Temperature: 49 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Thoughts: The walk (and yes, I walked most of the way, was great.

2009-05-31-Sunday Weigh-in

Today's weight: 228.2 Down 2.4 from last Sunday and a total of 11.8 since my all time high of 240 which I hit just before I was diagnosed. Not bad. The scale was actually up from the last 2 days, but that's why I always compare the weight from the previous week. We went to dinner at a friend's house last night. Tom is a fabulous cook and sets the most beautiful table. We ate later than I usually do so I'm sure the scale will be back down tomorrow. My daily pattern fluctuations are fascinating to watch. Dessert was one of the chocolate lava cakes topped with ice cream. I have to laugh because as I passed it by, Harold said, "you don't want any?" In the past I might have caved. But now I ask myself, "do you want that, or do you want more years of playing with your grandkids?" Grandkids win hands down! I probably could have had a small piece and been fine, but not having it is a lot easier than stopping once I start.

Using a blood glucose monitor has taught me a lot about what effect my food choices have. My levels didn't rise too much with last night's dinner, but a cup of sugarfree chocolate pudding yesterday afternoon sent it up 36 points in the second hour. I'm going to test that again tomorrow and if the result is the same, bye bye SF pudding. My PA has me checking my fasting blood sugar every other day and then on the alternate days I'm to check after a meal. I usually check after the first and second hours just to see what effect a particular food has. It is so helpful in formulating menus, and there is no room for arguing with myself - the numbers don't lie.

I'm melttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttting!

When the kids were growing up, they had a fascination with The Wizard of Oz. Dorothy was a frequent guest at our dinner table. The kids called me the mean green witch. LOL! Now I am melting. I'm a little worried about what I'm going to look like when all of this weight comes off. But I guess I'd rather trade rolls for wrinkles when you come right down to it - not to mention better health and more energy.

I found a new recipe I'm eager to try. You marinate chicken breasts in diet orange soda and soy sauce. Mmmmmmmmm.

Original goal is met

Okay, it's not official here because I only post weigh-ins here on Sunday, but remember my original goal of 228 by June 1? I surpassed it this morning. But, shhhh, you don't get to know the numbers until Sunday. This whole "sugar regulation" thing has been fairly effortless so far. I hope it continues. I haven't felt deprived, and I can take or leave the "no sugar added" ice cream anymore. I just don't think about eating. I don't drink diet pop very often, except for a diet Coke every now and then. I don't know if it's the meds or the fact that I have cut out sugar. It could be both. I actually think the strongest motivator is that I can't let a slip turn into a binge. Just one more WILL hurt. I still need to work on the exercise thing. I think I am using the fact that we are going Alaska get in the way. But you know what? There's no reason I can't do some sort of exercise then. For the first week we'll be on a cruise. Cruises are noted for their food, but I think cruise ships also have exercise areas available. One advantage to being diagnosed with diabetes is that I can't rationalize cheating because of the cruise. I can't say, "well, we're on a cruise so I can eat poison for just this one week." Because that's what it would be for me - poison. That's how I have to think of it.

Baby steps, baby steps

The scale is slowly inching its way downward and my little running girl is getting now closing in on the halfway mark of this first lap. Workouts have been spotty but I am hoping to remedy that as soon as I get caught up. I have been spending way too much time trying to beat Anna at Facebook games. LOL! Those are a real time sucker so I am going on a "diet" of no more than 15 minutes a day.

Is it Monday? Or Tuesday? or what

I lose track of days when we have a Monday holiday. LOL! I did pretty well over the weekend. Usually when we have a craft show, all caution regarding eating goes out the window. I am going to divide my journey into four laps rather than have a monthly goal. There is a little gremlin inside of me that likes to thwart deadlines. However, I am pretty sure my goal of 228 by June 1 is pretty much guaranteed if I keep going the way I have been. So, I am in my first lap and my little running girl is pluggin away.

I was listening to a commercial for a product called Ever Cleanse. It is almost laughable. It operates on the theory that we have 5-25 pounds of "waste" clinging to our colon walls "like spackle or paste." Quite the visual, that is. It goes on to say that taking their product will melt away a flabby belly. Okay, let's think about that. What on earth does a flabby belly have to do with "spackle" in the colon. If it weren't so sad, it would be laughable.

We remember, with gratitude!

*******************************************************************************
********************************************************************************
*******************************************************************************

Lenard F. Moeggenborg - Ashu Valley, Viet Nam - August 24, 1969

We Remember . . .

those who served us then,
those who serve us now,
and those who gave their lives.

Thank you!

*******************************************************************************

********************************************************************************

Morning update: It's been a few days since I've updated. Usually that means I've gone off track. I'm happy to report that I have been doing well and am optimistic about reaching my June 1, goal. I'm now at 230 and looking forward to getting into the 220's. I learned of another reason to avoid sugar - apparently if you eat a lot of sugar, mosquitoes will hunt you down! I never knew that.

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/Brown's/back
Distance: 2 1/2 miles
Time: 32 minutes
Average HR: 121
Maximum HR: 140
Calories burned:250
Temperature: 49 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for June 1: 228
Thoughts:
Oh, it's is absolutely beautiful out today.

Another fantabulous day!

I hopped out of bed with the alarm this morning. It's far to gorgeous a day to waste any of it. I am feeling so much better and cravings have all but disappeared. The scale is moving slowly, but surely. I am continuing to test foods to find which ones I will need to avoid. Last night I bought some Andes sugar free mints which were on clearance at Rite Aid. When I tested my blood sugar about an hour later, it had risen quite a bit (for me, that is), so these will not be part of my menu. A look at the ingredients shows that they have transfats in them, too, which I hadn't noticed. Maybe that's why they were on clearance.

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/middle of Walter's woods/back
Distance: about 2 miles
Time: 31.06
Average HR: 121
Maximum HR: 134
Calories burned: 240
Temperature: 58 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for June 1: 228
Thoughts:It is so beautiful out today. Coming back from the run I met Melisa and the kids, and Sam was out on his bike headed for the farm truck to join the rest of the guys to plant soybeans. That means I'll have 4 for lunch.

Taxes and other fun things

I didn't check in yesterday. We had to be up town early to finish our taxes. Then when we got home, some thing loomed that just made me not even want to blog. I guess I am not allowed to express things that are bothering me no matter how vague. I wrote something on my other blog - named no names and was apparently vague enough that 10 people thought I was writing about them. I mention it here because one of my struggles in life is letting outside events influence what goes into my mouth. But I didn't do that and I am proud of myself for dealing with it by getting some things done instead of wallowing in it. But it hung over me like a dark cloud and is still there.

It is a gorgeous out so I am getting ready to head out for a great walk/run.

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/middle of Walter's woods/back
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 31 minutes
Average HR: 117
Maximum HR: 136
Calories burned: 233
Temperature: 62 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for June 1: 228
Thoughts:Got out on the road at 10:06. Probably didn't need a jacket, but it was breezy. Great workout! Beautiful day!

Sunday weigh-in

Morning update: Today is Sunday which means I report today's weigh-in. I am at 230.6 which is a loss of 3.5 pounds - Go Me!!!! See my little running girl at the top of the page? She's going like gangbusters! My June 1 goal is within my grasp! Whooohooo
I'm off to head out for my walk/jog.

Daily stats:
Workout type: walk/jog
Route: Deadend/Brown's field/back
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 31 minutes
Average HR: 123
Maximum HR: 142
Calories burned: 245
Temperature: 47 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for June 1: 228
Thoughts:I got out on the road at 8:40. It was too late to hear my favorite Sunday program so I will be going out earlier next week. It is so gorgeous out! No soggy spots on the deadend, slight breeze. Just wonderful! I got home from my walk/jog to find kudos from Shrinking Mom. Thanks so much!

It's a numbers game

Afternoon update:
I'm late getting on here today. I got sidetracked by . . . work. I had a lot of music to sort through before an important rehearsal on Wednesday. Anyway, I went to the dr. yesterday (I actually see a nurse practitioner) and she was very pleased with my numbers. I told her I was doing Atkins and she didn't bat an eye. (Not that she should have but so many people have no idea what Atkins is that I was half expecting it.) Not only that, I had lost a few pounds since I last saw her less than 2 weeks ago. I don't have to up my medication - just stay at 1000 mg of metformin which makes me happy. I haven't felt deprived - in fact the reality of my situation eliminates all arguments with myself about what I will and will not eat. I was good to have the positive reinforcement. People who don't understand diabetes are under the impression that we do it to ourselves by eating sugar. That's not true. For me, eating sugar was the symptom of something going on. I did not do this to myself, but I am blessed to be empowered to be able to do something to control it. I have learned to give myself the positive reinforcement that I need because I can't expect it from others. There are some who readily give it, but there are others who don't and I am learning to live with that. People can't give what they don't have.

Mid-month already!

Morning update:
I have Mass earlier today and Friday is a scheduled day off from working out. But that's optional. I'll probably at least get out for a walk. After Mass I have a dr. appointment to check my blood sugar. My numbers have been pretty good. The highest reading I had was 119 on the very first day of checking.

It's hard to believe that we are halfway through May already. I've received a couple of graduation party invitations from students at school. It's nice to know they haven't forgotten me. It's also a bit of a shock because I still see these kids as middle schoolers.

Sunny days and Thursdays always make me glad

Morning update:
I'm on my 3rd day of upping my metformin to 1000 mg. It must be doing its job because my numbers are usually under 110. It getting easier to stay on track because I feel better. I actually forget to eat. However mild nausea reminds me when it's time to eat something. I think, even though it's gorgeous out, that I will use the treadmill again today so I can finish watching what I missed on Biggest Loser.

For Ida: Thanks so much for researching the comment thing for me. For some reason this particular blog style will not let me. It doesn't let me reply to comments either. grrrrrr. I don't want to change the style, though because then I can't use the "cutest blog" thing. You would think that Blogger would have fixed that by now.

Daily stats:
Workout type: Treadmill
Route: custom 1
Distance:
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR: 116
Maximum HR: 150
Calories burned: 227
Temperature: 56 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for June 1: 228
Thoughts: Workout felt good. I made a batch of Easy Cheesey Egg bake last night so that's breakfast. I find that I am losing my taste for sweets. That's a good thing. Ice cold water is tasting really good these days!

Biggest Loser Surprise

Morning update:
Well, I was certainly surprised by last night's winner on Biggest Loser. I would have bet it would have been Tara. I have mixed feelings about Helen. I hate to be the party pooper, but I think Helen may have lost too much weight. And Jerry did not look like a 64 year old man. I think they both looked anorexic. But . . . given the speed with which these contestants take off the weight, and given that the body redistributes the remaining body fat for months afterwards, it may be a bit unfair to comment on how these contestants look. I would like to see them in a few months. I thought everyone looked fantastic. I hope that Mike can help his brother realize the same success at losing weight. I wanted to cry for him. As much as Ron irritated me when he was on the show, I think he looked fantastic and will be a great help to his other son.

I woke up this morning with every joint aching. Got lots of exercise yesterday because Clay and Claire were here and we spent the entire visit outside running around the yard looking at dead birds, picking lilacs, walking across the road to check out Aunt Colleen's gagarge sale, and walking by the field to wave at Grandpa on his tractor. I think that this morning's workout will be on the treadmill while I watch the first part of Biggest Loser that I missed last night.

Warning: Please do not click on the link in my third comment from aser. Trusting soul that I am, I let it go through and now I can't remove it. If someone knows how I can, please let me know.

Daily stats:
Workout type: Treadmill
Route: custom 2 plus weights
Distance:
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR: 122
Maximum HR: 141
Calories burned: 230
Temperature: 54 degrees
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for June 1: 228
Thoughts:
I don't know if I work harder on the treadmill or if the electronics mess with my HRM, but the above numbers are what I got. I am so glad that I set the VCR last night so I wouldn't miss the first part of the show. Also, you may have noticed that I have not posted my weight the last couple of days. I will only be doing that on Sundays from now on. I weigh every day and average out, but it is confusing to people. Weight fluctuates daily so I only pay attention to weekly averages.

I'm really late posting today. Just one of those days. The scale continues to go down which is a very good thing.

Daily stats:
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/rockpile/back
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR: 116
Maximum HR: 137
Calories burned: 225
Temperature: 40
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for June 1: 228
Thoughts:I got out a bit later today, at 11:00 because the Tweetlebugs stayed over last night. I am very proud of myself that I didn't use it as an excuse to skip the workout.

Morning update:
I'm up early again today (early for me, that is). Bed's made, dishes in the diswasher and I am ready to head out for my walk. Yesterday was a good day, food-wise. I am slowly but surely learning to "think" myself out of situations where I want to eat, but don't need to eat. The kids came over last night for Mother's Day and we grilled burgers and hot dogs. They had huge chocolate chip cookies for dessert, I had sugar free jello with whipped cream.

The morning looks beautiful, but looks are deceptive - it's 34 degrees out so before I head out the door, I am going to add a sweatshirt under my jacket.

Daily stats:
Weight: 234.2
Down 5 pounds from last Monday - whoo hoo!
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/rockpile/back
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR: 115
Maximum HR: 137
Calories burned: 223
Temperature: 34
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for June 1: 228
Thoughts:
There was no wind this morning so I probably didn't need the sweatshirt. The walk/run was great. It feels so good to get out in the mornings again.

Happy Mother's Day all!

Morning update:
Well, I can breathe, and I'm not coughing as much so I am going out this morning. I will take it easy though. It's more to get back to it than anything else. It's gorgeous out, but only 40 degrees. It's May, right? As I pasted in my stats, I noticed that I am up in weight from the last time I got outside. But that's all right. From now on the scale is going down. I am really grateful to Lisa, my PA for putting her finger on the insulin resistance thing. It's one of those "duh" things that I'm kicking myself for. The metformin is not a miracle pill, not a weight loss pill, but what it does is free me from being a slave to my hormones. What it does is calm the cravings. What it does is free me from thinking about food 24/7. Again, I am not on the full dosage yet so my song may change, but for now I am basking in living life as a normal person - well, relatively normal. Another thing I've noticed is that when I get up after sitting, I don't walk like an old lady any more. I remember reading somewhere that sugar can act as an inflammatory agent in some people. That seems to be the case with me.

Daily stats:
Weight: 234
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/rockpile/back
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR: 115
Maximum HR: 129
Calories burned: 223
Temperature: 42
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for June 1: 228
Thoughts:
It was great out there this morning! I thought the deadend would be soggy, but it was only bad in one small spot. I took it much more slowly than usual, though. I discovered that one of my favorite programs, "Let My People Think" with Ravi Zecharias is back on Sunday mornings again.

Rainy days and Saturdays always make me smile

The scale is down again this morning. Whoo hoo. I still don't know for sure that it's the Metformin since I am still only taking one pill in the morning. From what I've read it takes a bigger dose and a couple of weeks for it to kick in. I do know that this week hasn't been bad at all. I haven't noticed any side effects from the metformin so far.

We went out to dinner last night for a Sodbusters meeting where there is actually more eating than meeting. We went to Mountaintown Station. I love it there with it's railroad and primitive decor. They have a chicken marsala that is really good. I skipped the angel hair pasta on which they serve it, had asparagas as a side dish, and with a small salad I was good to go. After dinner I watched 2 hobo sundaes and a cherry chocolate cheesecake being delivered to our table, but I really didn't feel all that deprived. I can make my own cheesecake and I have a half gallon of NSA vanilla ice cream in the freezer. Best of all, my fasting blood sugar is down to 100 this morning. I have a hard time using the word diabetic in regard to myself, and I don't really think I'm quite there - but I certainly don't intend to go any further down the diabetic path. One thing this experience has done is take away the "all or nothing" mentality that has dogged me for so long. The Beck book has also helped with that. I am really paying attention to when, how, why, and what I eat.

I think tomorrow I will be able to get outside. My congestion is slowly clearing. I still can't smell anything and hopefully that will be better soon. One of my favorite jobs involves smell stuff. :)

Oh what a beautiful day

It is gorgeous out today. I am still getting over this cold, but each day is a little better. Not a lot to report. The weight is still going down - that's a good thing. Staying on track isn't too bad. It's not like there's any room to argue with myself - the glucose monitor doesn't lie. I have a splitting headache today and too much to do - not enough time to do it, plus we're going out to dinner tonight for a business meeting.

Pluggin' away

I'm still congested this morning. It's better, but I'm still not able to workout. I got on the Wii Fit today. Tillie says I'm 33. Not bad!

I did some reading on Metformin last night. I found a thread on lowcarb friends where it was being discussed. There was a mixed bag of thoughts about the drug. The main thing is that there are minimal side effects. It's also fairly inexpensive. I've noticed that I don't have the urge to binge anymore. These past weeks I have been downing sugar like there's no tomorrow. I don't know if it's the Metformin or the fact that I've been sick. Probably, it's more the latter because I'm still at a very low dose of the Metformin.

My weight has dropped 4.4 pounds since Monday morning. Most of that is water that I was retaining, but it's still good to see the scale go down.

Progress

I still feel like crud. I almost decided to go to Urgent Care last night. I was coughing so hard I couldn't get my breath. I think the worst is over now. I'm still stuffy, but I no longer feel like an elephant is parked on my chest.

I was doing some research in diabetes last night and everything I read says that and A1C of 7% is where a diagnosis is made. I'm at 6.2 so I'm not exactly sure what's going on. When I check my blood sugar, it's within the proper ranges so I don't know what to think. I was reading about the side effects of Metformin and I have mixed feelings. I really would rather take as little medication as possible, but I will go with this for a while and see how things go. The PA is of the opinion that if things look good, it's because of the medication, and that may be true, but if things are improving, I'm wondering if maybe I couldn't try to get off some of the meds. On Biggest Loser most of the contestants who have blood sugar issues are able to get off meds once they lose weight.

Biggest Loser was fantastic last night. I am proud of all of those people for doing that marathon. Ron was absolutely inspiring! We now vote on who will be the 3 person in the finale. I am voting for Mike. Throughout this whole thing he has managed to do what he needed to do with minimal game playing. He is a selfless young man and though I would love to see him win this, I think it's going to be Tara that takes home the prize.
***************************************************
Afternoon update:
Ooh! Oooh! I just received my first award for this blog. Shrinking Mom sent me the "Your Blog is Super" award! These are the rules when you receive an award:

1. Tape it up on your blog somewhere - mine is to the right at the top
2. Pass it along to 5 fellow super bloggers, and comment on their blog to let them know they have received the award.
3. When you present your Super Blogger awards, link back to the super blogger who gave it to you (thank you Shrinking Mom - I gotta find out your first name!)

These are my choices:
TJ's Weigh or the Highway - I love her sassy no-nonsense style!
Twisted Cinderella - she has terrific recipes!
Deb - Finding the runner in me - I love to read about her journey to becoming a runner. She has offered so much support I couldn't begin to thank her.
Foodie Getting Fit - She's always there with a word of encouragement.
And last, but definitely not least, there is Ida of Losing Myself - a wonderful lady!

There are so many others I would love to include but I am limited to 5. It is so wonderful to find support for the journey online!

Another gorgeous day in mid-Michigan . . .

. . . and here I sit, coughing and hacking. I didn't get here yesterday because I had a dr. appt that went far longer than I thought, and then I was running hither and yon finding supplies to manage my diagnosis of diabetes. I was hoping that the numbers would have been better, but I kind of suspected they were going the wrong way. I craved sugar all last week, and I was drinking water like there was no tomorrow. The PA was very positive and said that medicine now catches diabetes much earlier and so with some small changes in lifestyle it is very manageable. Carbs need to be watched, but that's something I've always had to do since for most of my adult life I have been hypoglycemic. I pretty much know what I need to do and what foods I can eat. I am looking forward to getting over this awful cold so I can get outside. Exercise acts to lower blood sugar.

To answer some comments that were left here:

For "Foodie":
If it were a milder cold, I would go for it with the walking, but I am really congested and just doing normal stuff has me breathing really hard.

For TJ and Ida:
The Sun (Latin: Sol), a yellow dwarf, is the star at the center of the Solar System.
I hope you see him soon. :)

For Jinx:
I will most likely go with Sugar Busters - no carb counting, just sticking to foods that don't raise insulin. It's a lot like Atkins Maintenance.

Back to my diagnosis - my glucose readings aren't really all that off. What is happening is that once my sugar is up, it takes longer than it should to come back down. I took my first dose of Metformin today. This week I am to take a fasting blood sugar reading on 3 mornings. Today's was 119 which I think is kind of high for a fasting blood sugar.

Then on 2 days, I take a reading 2 hours after a meal. Doing this will give me a pretty good idea of what foods I need to avoid or eat in smaller portions. My kit came with a video and there really isn't anything I can't eat - as long as the portions are controlled. For now I am avoiding all refined sugars and flours because those are triggers for me. As I mentioned before, I have been hypoglycemic for many years. Hypoglycemia is often thought of as the opposite of diabetes, but it really isn't. The diet is pretty much the same and so is the aim of keeping blood sugar level. With hypoglycemia, the pancreas puts out too much insulin which removes more glucose from the blood stream. I'm guessing that after many years of over production, my pancreas wants to rest so now it's not putting out enough, or my body is resistant to its effects - insulin resistance. Hypoglycemia is actually more of a precursor of diabetes.

In my book, the PA wrote that my fasting blood sugar should be below 110 and my readings after meals should be below 160. I did pretty well on the after meal readings, but as I said, this morning's fasting blood sugar was 119.

Afternoon update:
Last night I couldn't sleep because of the coughing and so I popped in the Biggest Loser video from last Tuesday. I missed the first hour because I was at a banquet. I am soooooo glad I taped it. The first part of the show was a reflection on how far the contestants had come. I saw the sadness in their eyes as they watched videos of their former selves and wondered why it is that we can't feel that for ourselves when we are living it. Only in retrospect. I wonder what it would have been like if their former selves had seen a video reflecting their victories ahead of time. I'm probably not making sense, but I think the people that make it in the long haul, are the ones who CAN visualize their victories. I had Tara pegged from the start as the possible winner of this thing. From the start she exhibited a self confidence that made me wonder how she ever got so big in the first place. I can't wait for tonight's episode.