Thursday

Lizards and creatures and snakes, oh my!!

Yesterday was one of those days where I just spun my wheels. I got up with every intention of working out and then the entire day slipped right out from under me. I have a staff meeting this morning, but will be back later to update. In the meantime, here is a cute pic from our trip to the Lizard and Snake museum.

Tuesday

Rain, Rain, go away

I did some more reading in the "Beck Diet Solution" book last night. This book doesn't really cover the why of overeating. Those can be a varied as the people who do it. The basis behind the book is that every action is rooted in thought. It gives you tools to arrest those thoughts before you act on them. For instance, yesterday I came home from a meeting. It was "snack" time, but I really wasn't hungry. The thought process went something like this.

It's 3:00 o'clock, you'd better eat a snack.

But I'm not hungry

But it's 3:00 o'clock

But why should I eat if I'm not hungry?

Because you always eat a snack at 3:00 o'clock.

So? Why do I always eat a snack at 3:00 o'clock?

I don't know, but you always do.

So maybe I won't eat a snack until 4:00. Maybe I won't eat a snack at all.

Wahhhhhhh!

What's your problem?

You told me "no."

No I didn't. I asked you "why" and said "maybe later." I want to go work on my quilt block for a while. Then we'll see about a snack.

Now this whole inner conversation took place in mere seconds, but it was effective. I've noticed that when I go into overeat or binge mode, I often just turn off my brain. I think for me that may be the key to how I use food - as an avoidance mechanism. Often when the urge hits, it's to fill a void. So telling myself I can't have something only makes it worse. Instead of telling myself what I can't do I find things I can do. I know this all sounds simplistic, but as I was reading the book, something clicked. If you want me to change my behavior, do it by giving me something to do - not by telling me not to do something. "Not doing" something is like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I will "not do" something until I do it. Does that make sense? I'm not explaining it very well. Instead of restricting behavior, show me how to change its direction. That's what this book does.

Anyway, if you have spent zillions of dollars on diet books, I would encourage you to spend a few more (you can get it used on Amazon, or free at the library) and take a look at this book. Any diet will work until you go off it. This book helps you to make the change permanent.

Monday

Ahhhh, time to relax

Okay, so when I left you last week, I was talking about a new "diet" book that I bought. As I told you, it's not about what goes in your mouth - it's about what's going on in your head. I haven't formally started the plan, but even so, the though processes are taking root. As I read, I think "duh, why didn't I think of that?" But it really isn't that so much as validation for some of the things I suspected all along. People with a "food" problem really don't have a "food" problem. Food is just the vehicle. I'm actually glad that for me it is food and not drugs or something worse. Anyway, I am still reading and sorting it all out.

Jinx, Kud, Ida, Shrinking Mom - I think of all of you often. I will keep you posted as I work my way through the book.

Thursday

Syrple Weekend is here!

For the record, We have fondly nicknamed this Mryple Syrple weekend - that is not a typo. :)

I would love to know how many calories I burned going up the basement steps with the carts we are taking to the show. We are so much more organized than we were the first year we went to the Festival. Set up is my least favorite aspect of this whole business, but the more organized we get, the less time we have to spend doing it.

So, on to Loser business. I am still treading water. I got a new book in the mail called "The Beck Diet Solution." It's not a diet book per se. It goes after the stinkin' thinkin' that causes us to sabotage ourselves. I know the 99% of my weight problem is a thinking problem. I haven't had a lot of time to read it. I am looking forward to next week being a slower week so I have a chance to look at it.

Tuesday

I haven't given up the ship

I've been scarce that last few days. Nothing going on, just way too much to do and not enough time to do it. We are gearing up for our huge show of the year - this is the one that pays the bills - so at the moment I am treading water. I do not want to put things on hold because this is life. If I can't get a handle on things when I'm busy, there's not much hope of this being a permanent change. Workouts have been haphazard but getting off one med and switching to a supplement has made me tired and I've been getting up way too late. I am hoping that once the transition is complete, I will get on a better schedule.

Friday

Spring, ahhhhhhhh, Spring!

Note to Deb (Jinx) - I tried that stretch you mentioned - ahhhhhhhh! Felt good. Another one I do is put my foot up on a chair and kind of lean into the hip.

Squishy - slow movers of the world UNITE!!! LOL!

Hi Ida!
***********************************************
No workout this morning due to Mass, but it is so gorgeous out that I may take a run later tonight. The Tweetlebugs are here and they're going to "help" me rake the lawn later.

I wrote a couple of days ago that I am going to try Relacore. I want to make it clear that I did not buy it as a weight loss pill. Apparently it is a bust if one is looking to lose weight with it. I wasn't even researching "diet" pills. I was looking around to see what dosage of B complex would work as a mood lifter. During my cyber travels I came upon a discussion of Relacore and while most people agreed that it did not affect weight loss in any relavant way, most claimed that they would continue taking it because they felt so good while on it. They also did not take as big a dose as recommended on the bottle. I am starting out with 1 pill at meal times. So far my withdrawals from my previous medication (crabbiness, stressed feeling) have disappeared. I don't know for sure if it is due to the Relacore. A good dose of B-complex might do the same thing. I am going to take the Relacore for a month and then switch to B-complex. If there is no appreciable difference, I'll probably just stay with the B-complex because it's cheaper. But either way it is cheaper than the co-pay I was paying for the other medication.

Thursday

I love Thursdays

Morning update:
I don't know why I love Thursdays, I just do. Probably because I very rarely have to go anywhere on Thursday nights. I love Mondays for the same reason. Weird, I know. I am getting ready to head out on a beautiful sunny day. I have increased my mileage to 3 miles. When my time improves, I will increase it again. I used to go down to the next mile. I want to get there again. I just love our road on which to run. I am headed there now.

Daily stats:
Weight:
232.8
Workout type: Walk/jog
Route:
Deadend/Leaton/Back
Distance: 3 miles
Time:
48
Average HR:
124
Maximum HR:
142
Calories burned: 371
Temperature: 43
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for May 1: 224

Thoughts:

It was a great workout. My right hip is aching a little - I may need to stretch more at night. My doggie buddies were a no-show this morning. That's always a good thing. I really don't like to turn my back on a barking dog. My time was a little better this morning. My immediate goal is 4 miles per hour. Even in younger days at a lower weight, I couldn't seem to do any better than 11 minutes per mile - around 5 1/2 miles an hour. That is my long-term goal.

Wednesday

So many addictions, so little time.

Morning update:
As I reported in my other blog, on Monday I went to my first meeting of the Thimbleberries club at our local quilt shop. Omigosh - I am hooked. Just soaking in the atmosphere of the shop is enough to get out of bed and head to town - but being around other ladies who love to quilt is wonderful. Anyway, I spent yesterday divided between visits from Clay and Claire and working on my January blocks for the club. If you'd like to see my first blocks, you can see them on my Sugar Bush blog.

Daily stats:
Weight:
233.2
Workout type: Walk/run
Route:
Deadend/Leaton rd/back
Distance: 3 miles
Time:
50 minutes
Average HR:
126
Maximum HR: 143

Calories burned: 404
Temperature: 48
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for May 1: 224

Thoughts:

I got out on the road at about 10:00 am. Oh it was a wonderful day to get outside. I wish I could get my rear in gear earlier in the day, though. My doberman/black lab? friends were barking at me as I headed toward the deadend. As long as they don't leave the yard, I think I'm okay.

Afternoon update:
Thanks, Nina. No, I don't weight 23.2 pounds. LOL!

Tuesday

I'm Baaaaaaack!

I've been offline for a couple of days due to a malfunction in the phone we use for our internet connection. I was stressing out toward the end of the week anyway. Part of it was due to taxes not being finished. (They still aren't, we ended up filing an extension), some of it was due to Holy Week, but I think the worst of it was transitioning off one of my medications. It is an antidepressant that was prescribed to minimize hot flashes. I was on the lowest dose possible, but there are still side effects from coming off of it. I decided to go off it because we recently switched our insurance and they need some kind of approval which is being held up for some reason - so I couldn't get it anyway. They don't want to pay for the medication because it is expensive. Even thought the this stuff wasn't prescribed for depression, it did wonders to lift my mood and relieve anxiety. I have switched to a B-complex and 5 HTP for now. In researching natural alternatives to antidepressants, I found some surprising testimonies on Relacore. Apparently as a weight loss method it doesn't really live up to the hype. However, most people who reviewed it said that even though it hasn't led to effortless weight loss, they plan ton continue taking it because it has an energizing and uplifting effect and they just feel good while taking it. I am going to try it for a month and see what it does as far as stress and anxiety relief.

Friday

Spring Break

I am declaring the rest of the week as my personal spring break. I do not have the energy to deal with weight issues right now. I know I should be out exercising, but I just can't swing it. I am in the process of organizing my notes for next year at church, and streamlining the tax receipt procedure so that I am not so stressed out. My goal for next year is to have our taxes done by January.

Monday I am starting fresh. I do not plan to throw caution to the winds this weekend, but right now there are some things I need to do to keep my sanity. Most people make New Year's resolutions. Not me. I set goals and Monday is a "new" year for me.

Because I can't comment on this blog, I want to thank Deb, Shrinking Mom, Ida, Kudret, and so many others for you kind and supportive comments. I never feel like I am doing this alone because I know you are all out there fighting your battles too!

I want to wish you all a blessed Easter!

Hugs, Mary

Thursday

The Last Supper

In the world of the Church, the term Last Supper has a very specific meaning. For those of us who struggle with our weight, last supper is what we continually do in preparation for finally getting rid of the weight and conquering our foe forever. I can see a specific link between the Last Supper and the last suppers I have had over the years. Each is meant to be a kind of send off to a new life. Unfortunately, for me, last suppers have been my downfall. The thinking behind it is, eat everything I want, get it out of my system, and begin again tomorrow. But in my case, tomorrow very rarely gets here and the endless line of last suppers have exacerbated the problem.

But as I wrote here a week or so ago, I have enlisted the aid of the veteran of the Last Supper. I have formulated a plan of eating that is fairly lowcarb, but is flexible enough to keep me from feeling like a prisoner. I am not working out today. I didn't work out yesterday. Yesterday was not a good day for me. I am transitioning off some meds and that has wreaked havoc with my moods. Unfortunately this transition coincides with my most stressful week of the year. People who don't work in church ministry have no idea exactly how stressed things can get. You wouldn't expect it in an area where you are devoted to serving God and God's people. I have very few people around me who totally get what I do. The ones who do are amazingly supportive. The ones who don't make things very difficult. That is what I am battling this week - along with the aforementioned transitioning off of a presciption.

Today I need to get some cleaning done before I leave. When things are in order, it is easier to deal with the other chaos.

Tuesday

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Morning update:
I was up really early this morning. I can never sleep well on the Tuesday of Holy Week. It's a big day, and a long one. I am going out for my workout now and try and head off some of the stress of the day.

Daily stats:
Weight:
231
Down
.4 from last Tuesday
BMI:

Workout type:
Walk/run
Route:
Deadend/Walter's woods/back
Time:
30
Average HR: 121

Maximum HR: 143

Calories burned: 240
Temperature: 28
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for May 1: 224

Thoughts:

It was very chilly out today with the wind coming from the west. There was some sleet, and I heard the parts of Michigan really got dumped on. Thank goodness we missed out on that fun. Because it was cold, the path was not so muddy

Monday

Another Monday - the calm before the chaos :)

Morning update:
Not much to report. I woke up feeling cruddy. I feel better now, but it's that first 10 minutes in the morning where I feel like I was run over by a mack truck that is hard to get past. My alarm went off at 7:00. I got up, turned it off, and went back to bed. Harold's alarm went of and he got up. He came in looking for the coffee filters (we're out) so I had to get up and improvise with a paper towel. Gotta have that coffee in the morning. Once I'm up, I'm up so running out of coffee filters is probably a good thing - at least for today.


Daily stats:

Weight:
232.6
Up .4 from
Monday
BMI:

Workout type:
Treadmill plus weights
Route:
Workout room
Time:
30 minutes
Average HR:
118
Maximum HR:
128
Calories burned:220
Temperature:32
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for May 1: 224

Thoughts:

I don't know why it's such a challenge to get started exercising in the morning. As I said, it's not the exercise itself, it is the starting. But I got today's workout in. I am remembering something a former co-worker said. I always assumed he ran because he loves to run. He told me, "I run so I can climb mountains." Wow! I guess I run so I can quilt. LOl! I do love to run, or rather I did when I was at a good running weight. So for now I am going to run because I want to quilt.

Sunday

Spring? Do I see you peeking around the corner?

Morning update:
Okay, I think the key is to make myself get out of bed the minute the alarm rings, and put on my workout clothes. I am ready to get outside on what looks like it will be a beautiful (albeit chilly) day. The temperature is 30 degrees. I'm headin' out.

Daily stats:
Weight:
232.4
Down
.2 from last Sunday
BMI:
37.31
Workout type:
Walk/run
Route:
Deadend/Walter's woods/back
Time:
30
Average HR:
121
Maximum HR:
138
Calories burned: 220
Temperature: 34
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for May 1: 224

Thoughts:

It was glorious out today. Still chilly so my teeth are still aching. (Been to the dentist - nothing goin' on there). The trees are slowly being removed from the sides of the path. Those were my little bit of refuge from the sun on hot days.

I just took a shower with my Candy Apple soap. Mmmmm. I can't choose my favorite scent, but they all smell really good when I am basking in the glow of a nice workout!

I'm off to get things ready at the church for Palm Sunday.

Afternoon update:
I am hiding out a bit. We just finished family dinner. Harold's asleep in his chair (amid the chaos of Sam, Kelli, Melisa, and Justin playing Wii Bowling and Clay and Claire chasing each other around the hallway and screaming at the top of their lungs. Harold made spareribs and they were really good.

Friday

Ah, I am so easily sidetracked

I never got on here yesterday. I had planned to, but it didn't happen. I started the day early by going to a staff meeting that had actually been changed to April 23. So, since I was in St. Louis, I headed over to the local quilt shop. I've never been there. Oh my! I've been reading the "Elm Creek Quilt" books and this shop was exactly how I pictured the "Grandma's Attic Quilt Shop" to look. I joined the Thimbleberries quilt group. So now that I belong to 2 quilt groups, I guess that makes me a quilt junkie. Anyway, I didn't work out. I also didn't work out today. I had planned to, but got sidetracked by my quilting/knitting room. I spent about an hour in there and it is so much nicer to be in.

Anyway, food is in its place. Exercise needs work. Today is cleaning day so if I can get that done, that will be one less distraction in the morning.

Wednesday

Fool me once, shame on you :)

Morning update:
The scale was up this morning, but that's okay. I know I did what I needed to do yesterday. I didn't make my goal for April 1, but then I really wasn't on board for most of March. I have set a new goal for May and that is where my focus is now.

My thoughts on last night's Biggest Loser. I have mixed feelings about Nicole being sent home. She is definitely a threat and that's why I would have voted for her. But I think when a player comes back after the campus group has bonded, it makes it much tougher on that player. I think Ron still needs to be there, but I'm not sure that any success he has will be long term. He had bypass surgery and still gained weight. I think he needs professional help beyond anything he will achieve at the Biggest Loser campus.

After I weighed in this morning, that other little voice started in on me prompting me to skip the workout, just for today. Well, I have a stronger Voice working in my life, so I am headed out soon. 10:40 seems to be my time to get out on the road. Whatever. LOL!

Daily stats:
Weight:
233.2
Down 1.2 from last Wednesday

BMI: 37.31

Workout type:
Walk/run
Route: Deadend/Walter's Woods/back

Time:
31
Average HR: 126

Maximum HR: 146

Calories burned:257
Temperature: 40
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for May 1: 224

Thoughts:

I got on the road about 10:45. There was a brisk wind coming from the south and since my route is east and west, there was never any let up. It was great though. The ground is still soft and there were lots of deer hoof prints. Didn't see any deer.

Afternoon update:
Food is going well for the day. I am looking forward to getting back into ketosis which always makes me feel so much better. Tonight I have a stressful rehearsal. It's stressful because our choir joins forces with the choir of our linked parish. My people never feel welcome and it is a stressful time. I'm not sure where the negative vibes are coming from because I don't always feel them. The other choir director is a wonderful lady. She's a lot more laid back than I am and it could be that her people feel I am dogging on them. Anyway, my way of handling the stress is that I am going to do some quilting. I just finished entering all of our farm receipts for the year and I am definitely ready for a non-food break!