It is 10:03 and I am sitting here arguing with myself as to whether I am going to go out for my run. Why, oh why, do I have these arguments with myself. I know I will be glad once I'm out there. Why do I have to keep talking myself into doing something I know I love and is good for me. Why?
Route: Deadend and Back
Distance: 1.5 miles
Total time: 23:13
Pace: 15:28 min per mile
Ave. Hr.: 125
Max. Hr: 137
Cals burned: 326
I finally got my rear out the door at around 10:30
As predicted, once I was out there I was good to go. I am slowly heading back to a 15 minute mile. That's my first goal.
Food has been terrible this week. I have been fighting this battle with food for as long as I can remember. I tend to be a loner - I always have. I did have groups of friends, but never felt I really fit in. I'm still that way today. Other than hanging out with family, I am content to be a homebody. I do love our family get togethers, I love having the grandkids over, but the rest of the time I am content with being by myself. It's what I know. It's what I'm used to. But when I need to talk to someone, then my loner personality tends to suffer. So where do I turn? The same place I turned when I was a kid - when my parents were fighting, or when my mother got sick, or when kids teased me about my dark skin, or later when I was was chided about being fat. It's where I turn because it's always there. But then so is Satan. Accessibility is not necessarily a selling point - just makes it easier to get my fix.
Lately I've been reading a blog by a woman who has lost 80 pounds. It's inspiring to me because I can go back through her posts and see how she handled things when she was where I am now. Her blog is Escape From Obesity and it is excellent. Not only is she winning her battle over this enemy, but she is a wonderful writer.