Day 55: 100 days challenge - Food is the consolation prize

As I mentioned on my other blog, I went to Kohl's and bought some clothes. The tops were 2x's. The pants were "slimming solution" pants. Okay, now there is no way, no matter how "slimming" the pants are that I am going to look that much smaller that anyone would notice. But, they are comfortable. Everything fits. In the past I bought things that were too small promising myself that I would fit into them soon. After all, I don't want to "waste" money buying things that fit me now since I won't be in them that long. Okay, I've been telling myself that for several years now. I have punished myself by not wearing clothes that fit. How dumb is that? In addition to having gained weight, I am wearing clothes that are frumpy and old because I don't want to waste money buying something that fits. As if I'm not worth spending the money on myself until I am at a reasonable weight. Gosh, we beat ourselves up, don't we?

"Food is the consolation prize."
This is kind of a continuation of yesterday. Food heals all wounds. It really doesn't but at the moment we are stuffing our faces, there is nothing you can say to convince us otherwise. The book suggests that when we are tempted to reach for food when we are hungry, to ask ourselves what it is we really want. Well, gee, what do I want? I've been asking myself that question for years. I can remember a visit to the doctor's office for vaccination shots and my mom promising me a hot fudge sundae afterwards. I'm not blaming my mom for my food problem. Most kids are bribed with food at some time. But I think that because my mom was sick, we didn't do a lot together. Food was a bond and I think I may still use food to bond with people who are not available to me in my life. Food is always there in a way that people are not.

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