Sunday weigh-in-June 14, 2009

227 today. That's down 3.8 from last Sunday. I'm looking forward to getting out of the 220s. I'm not seeing much in the way of change. I did notice something, though. You know how when you wash your jeans, when you first put them on they're a little snug for a few minutes? Mine aren't so that's a bit of a non scale victory.

It's amazing to me how we don't really see ourselves as we are. It's always a shock to see myself in pictures. It's not at all how I see myself - I still have a picture of myself from 15 years ago. And that this is a temporary weight gain. It's been temporary for quite a while now. But then I look at old pictures when I used to think I was so big and see that I really wasn't.

I used to "diet" for an event, the most recent being the weddings of our kids. One's been married 7 years, one 4 years, and one 2 years. I never even made a dent in my loss. I know now that one can't diet for an event and hope to keep it off. I now look at my way of eating as a permanent change. I finally feel sane around food. I know longer look at foods in terms of cheating or not cheating. For me that is setting myself up for failure. I have a way of eating that is my norm. Occasionally I eat something that is not the norm. This eliminates the all or nothing mentality that has dogged me for years. (I cheated, might as well live it up and start again tomorrow.) In a way, the diagnosis of insulin resistance has been a huge blessing. It removes a lot of the gray areas that have caused me to never find my way to the end of the path.