Self sabotag

You know, I joined the challenge about a week ago. I was pumped. I was ready I was excited. "I'm gonna do it!" But it ain't happenin'. I start out the day great, but night time always does me in. My weigh-in day is going to be tomorrow and I'm pretty sure it will be a gain. I'm really trying to get my attitude on straight because I know that attitude is the key.

We're going out to dinner tonight - the Medler dinner. This is the company my husband retired from yesterday. I'm nervous because it means that Harold goes to church with me so that we can zip right over to Wyman afterwards. I'm nervous for 2 reasons. I am afraid I will be late for church. Late, for me, is arriving later than 1/2 hour before Mass. I have things to do before Mass. I have cantors to prepare, I have other little details that need to be taken care of. I have a very demanding pastor. This weekend we are testing some new mics so I need to make sure everything is set for that. Harold doesn't understand why I need to be there early and nothing I say can make him. There are people in my life who fail to realize that while I love what I do at the church, it is also a job for which I am paid. There seems to be the perception that I can breeze in and out whenever I feel like it or that I can take time off at a moment's notice. It is frustrating sometimes. I need to be at church by 4:00 at the latest. I asked DH if we could please be sure and leave no later than 3:45. He refuses to leave that early so we will be rushed and I will get to church with my stomach in knots. Break out the M&Ms. No! I am not going to do that to myself.

The other thing is that it is snowing out. I am very nervous when the roads are bad and we will be rushing to get to the dinner on time. (Yes, I see the irony) The tires need air, but I couldn't fill them yesterday because the air pumps were closed due to the frigid temps. So today I am going to not think about tonight. I'm just going to concentrate on getting stuff picked up and not stress eat. I am going to live in the moment and not stress about the future.

It helps to know that I can stay on track tonight and then come back here and blog about it - and there will be people who will understand and share my victory. Yes, it's going to be a victory. I am deciding that right now.
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3:00 pm update
Well, I have not stress eaten and I have the house picked up. It still needs a lot of work, but I wouldn't drop dead from shame if someone broke in an robbed us.
It is still snowing and not looking great outside, but I am not going to eat over it. M&Ms will not make the snow stop. :)
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I just posted my weigh-in for this week at Biggest Loser Blog edition. It was not a loss, but I am pumped for next week.

Have a great day.
Go team Angie!!!
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