The train has left the station . . . and it's going the wrong way!

I am really struggling with motivation right now. We were at Anna's last night playing with the WII fit. I was the biggest one. It amazes me how stuff can creep up on you and you don't see it until it is at the crisis point. If anyone had told me 30 years ago that I would be an obese woman at 56, I would have said "no way." You would think that after fighting this battle for so long, I would have gotten better at it. But no. It's gotten worse.

I can't blame my weight on glands or heredity or any external source. Well, I could, but it wouldn't be valid. I use food the same way I used cigarettes; to de-stress, to comfort, to celebrate, to quell fears, to overcome feelings of inadequacy - In short - for anything that life throws at me - good or bad.

There is one thing though - I never give up - I never lose hope that some day I will get this in hand. That is one thing I admire about myself. This could be the year - this could be the week - this could be the day that I turn it all around and get where I have been struggling to go.

Angie's team - anyone that wants to give me a good swift kick - go ahead. It may wake me up!

Here's to a better day, a better week, a better life!!


  1. You can do this, but you have to do it for yourself - You have to be the one to decide that this time will be different. I does sound like life handed you an moment where you could decide will this be it - am I done with the bad habits - am I ready to deem myself worth it and take care of myself. You have to decide that you are worth it and believe me the sooner you realize that the better!


  2. I'm a great ass kicker! Bend over...

    Keep positive, girl! You will do this. So do it! :)

  3. I think that motivation is something that we all struggle with. It seems like keeping that fire in the belly is the hardest part of creating and maintaining a healthier lifestyle. You're not alone. *hugs* Just try to remember that how we are today, isn't how we have to be tomorrow. If you are unhappy with your body now, you CAN change it. You are not a spectator behind your eyes, but the owner and operator of your body (in the physical sense). Is there something that you've been less able or unable to do since putting on weight? If so, maybe working toward being able to DO something that you love will be a better motivator, at least better than a scale. :o )

  4. Change is hard, and it always begins with a starting point. Sadly that starting point often comes when we hit that rock bottom moment. That sudden ,lightening strike of clarity that shows you all that you thought was shiny and comfortable is really pond scum and rotting things. We all reach it. What to do then ? Accept the reality and take one step at a time towards a new and healthy you. Not a giant leap, not a marathon, but one tiny baby step and let it start the momentum.So you are big now- now is not forever ! You have made mistakes in the past, but they do not have to be given the power to affect the future. Pick a small, easy, definable goal for this week and focus on that alone, knowing that it is part of the steps you will walk to the you that you wish to be. One step at a time, and you will get there. We all will.

  5. "This could be the year - this could be the week - this could be the day that I turn it all around and get where I have been struggling to go." Hey! How about this being the MINUTE you turn it all around! I want to see determination, soldier! go kick ass!

  6. Hey you guys! Thanks so much. I needed a good kick and I needed encouragement and I knew I would find both here. I plan to kick some major butt this week. My girls have been setting scores on the WII today. My job this week is to beat them. They're on - they should know better than to mess with Super Mom.

  7. When I read your blog, I thought, MY GOD! Did I write that? Do I have a blog that I write in my sleep that I don't know about or something??? NO, huh, well, then we are soooo much alike. THEREFORE I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!
    I don't much feel like kicking you in the arse, cause then you'd come over to my blog and kick me back! :) Keep up the good work and don't get discouraged.

  8. Mary~You have the strength to see this through this time! And you have a lot of people supporting you and kicking your butt if you fall behind.
    We can and WILL do this Mary!

  9. HOney you can so do this. I completely understand where you are coming from. I'll so many of us here do. Its hard, its a battle every minute of every day. And you can't let your guard down. Even after a year and losing 70 pounds i can easily slip back into my old ways and put 5 pounds back on before i know it. Every decision is a conscious choice that i no longer want to be the person i was. I want to create a new me one baby step at a time. I KNOW you can do this! And your right you could hit that tipping point , that 'special moment when everything is just going to fall into place and go right at any moment. Half the battle is in not giving up. If you never give up then you never really fail. How BAD do you want it girlfriend?? Do you have your support system in place? Cause your gonna need help. Trust me thats coming from someone who pretty much keeps to herself. I never could have done it alone. You and every one else who supports me helps me succeed. Its a team effort! Well i've gone on waaaay too long. Everybody struggles with motivation now and then , don't let it get you down girl! Tomorrow is another day. Let it go. Jinx