Morning update:
Food was a little off yesterday, but not bad. I always get antsy around this time of year. For church musicians this is the most powerful - and because of that - the most stressful time in the Church year. Ah, but I have help.
I'm still waking up very tired and am not getting out on the road nearly as early as I'd like. The later in the morning, the more likely that I will talk myself out of doing it. It's not the walk itself, it's the getting ready. I have discovered that transitions are my most challenging times. I just kind of have to go on autopilot and do it.
Tomorrow is the date for my mini goal. If I make it - terrific. If not, I take joy in what I have accomplished, set a new goal, and move on.
Don't forget that Biggest Loser is on tonight!!
Daily stats:
Weight: 231.4
Down 3.8 from last Tuesday
BMI: not sure
Workout type: walk/run
Route: Deadend/Walter's woods/back
Time: 30
Average HR: 123
Maximum HR: 138
Calories burned: 240
Temperature: 40
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for April 1: 229
Thoughts:
I got out on the road at about 10:45 - still later than I'd like.Not only is there the chance that I'll talk myself out of going, but there are other things that can take life over. Early in the day - not so much.
Tuesday
Monday
All glory, laud, and honor.
Morning update:
What I am about to write is going to sound absolutely crazy to some people, but I'm going to write it anyway because it's my blog and I can if I want to. :) People who know me well, know that I often get nudges from the Holy Spirit. Often He nudges me to do something that I would never think of in a million years. Sometimes these little messages cause me to think, "with all due respect, ARE YOU CRAZY?" Anyway, yesterday, during the Eucharistic Prayer at Mass, I got another one of these nudges. Only this one wasn't asking me to do something, it was telling me that my burden of this excess weight will be lifted. I normally keep my spiritual writing confined to my other blog, however my Friend nudged me again this morning. Okay, it's done.
It's 28 degrees out today. I have tons of stuff to do, but I am going to take time out for my walk/run.
Daily stats:
Weight: 232.2
Down 3.8 from last Monday
BMI: not sure
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/detour to see the Tweetlebugs/back
Time: 30
Average HR: 125
Maximum HR: 146
Calories burned: 248
Temperature: 34
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for April 1: 229
Thoughts:
I have so much to do today that I was tempted to skip the walk. I kept putting off getting out the door. And then I remembered that I had promised several people that I would pray for them the next time I prayed the rosary. So out the door I went. The deadend was pretty muddy in spots, and the wind was a little chilly. That wouldn't normally be a problem but when I breathed in, my one tooth ached. Thank goodness I have a dentist appt. tomorrow. On the way back I decided to run up to the window of my daughter's house and wave at the kids. They usually see me, but I can't see them. When they saw me coming, they ran out onto the porch. Now, I really do have to get to work!!
Afternoon update:
I promised to make myself a candle when I reached my first mini-goal. In light of the fact that God's commitment to me is so much more powerful than any commitment I could make to myself, and in celebration of that, I went ahead and made a candle this morning. Some fragrance oils that I ordered came in this morning. I made a maple syrup scented candle ( I have to think of a cool name for this scent) and it smells sooooooo good.
****************************************************
What I am about to write is going to sound absolutely crazy to some people, but I'm going to write it anyway because it's my blog and I can if I want to. :) People who know me well, know that I often get nudges from the Holy Spirit. Often He nudges me to do something that I would never think of in a million years. Sometimes these little messages cause me to think, "with all due respect, ARE YOU CRAZY?" Anyway, yesterday, during the Eucharistic Prayer at Mass, I got another one of these nudges. Only this one wasn't asking me to do something, it was telling me that my burden of this excess weight will be lifted. I normally keep my spiritual writing confined to my other blog, however my Friend nudged me again this morning. Okay, it's done.
It's 28 degrees out today. I have tons of stuff to do, but I am going to take time out for my walk/run.
Daily stats:
Weight: 232.2
Down 3.8 from last Monday
BMI: not sure
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/detour to see the Tweetlebugs/back
Time: 30
Average HR: 125
Maximum HR: 146
Calories burned: 248
Temperature: 34
Challenge for the day: Remembering the promise
Goal for April 1: 229
Thoughts:
I have so much to do today that I was tempted to skip the walk. I kept putting off getting out the door. And then I remembered that I had promised several people that I would pray for them the next time I prayed the rosary. So out the door I went. The deadend was pretty muddy in spots, and the wind was a little chilly. That wouldn't normally be a problem but when I breathed in, my one tooth ached. Thank goodness I have a dentist appt. tomorrow. On the way back I decided to run up to the window of my daughter's house and wave at the kids. They usually see me, but I can't see them. When they saw me coming, they ran out onto the porch. Now, I really do have to get to work!!
Afternoon update:
I promised to make myself a candle when I reached my first mini-goal. In light of the fact that God's commitment to me is so much more powerful than any commitment I could make to myself, and in celebration of that, I went ahead and made a candle this morning. Some fragrance oils that I ordered came in this morning. I made a maple syrup scented candle ( I have to think of a cool name for this scent) and it smells sooooooo good.
****************************************************
Sunday
Lent and dieting
I think we tend to think of dieting the way we think of Lent. When it's over, we go back to normal. Hmmmmm. I don't think either one is meant to be that way. It's all about conversion. That's why I don't really like the to use the word diet as a verb. A diet is a way of eating. Lent is meant to change us. So is "dieting." But there really is no end. It's an ongoing process. The change is meant to be permanent. Anyway, things have been going well. Not sure when I'll get a workout in today, but I am planning to get one in. We will see.
Wii Tillie said that I am 33 today and I acheived my goal early and she's worried about me. Awwwww!!! I am in ketosis which makes everything much easier. I am trying to stick to whole foods as much as possible and that keeps cravings down. I have several quilt projects lined up and some candles to make to fill an order, and a baby shower to get ready for (not to mention the new baby), and an afghan I'm working on. So there is plenty to keep me busy.
April 1 is coming up soon. I really really want to meet my mini goal. My reward is going to be a candle that I am going to make as a reminder of my commitment to myself.
Wii Tillie said that I am 33 today and I acheived my goal early and she's worried about me. Awwwww!!! I am in ketosis which makes everything much easier. I am trying to stick to whole foods as much as possible and that keeps cravings down. I have several quilt projects lined up and some candles to make to fill an order, and a baby shower to get ready for (not to mention the new baby), and an afghan I'm working on. So there is plenty to keep me busy.
April 1 is coming up soon. I really really want to meet my mini goal. My reward is going to be a candle that I am going to make as a reminder of my commitment to myself.
Saturday
Movin' on down the road
Morning update:
I can't believe how well I did yesterday. It would have been so easy to just chuck the whole thing until Monday when life slowed down. I am very, very nervous on freeways, particularly I75. I wasn't driving, but it doesn't matter. The traffic weaving in and out of lanes and merging and the myriad of other things to watch for give me a huge headache. I am proud of how I did yesterday. Now today I get the exercise back on track. I am getting ready to head out the door. It's sunny and beautiful out!
Daily stats:
Weight: 233
Down 3 from last Saturday
BMI: 38.35
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/Walter's woods/back
Time: 31 minutes
Average HR: 123
Maximum HR: 145
Calories burned:250
Temperature: 32 degrees
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Thoughts:
It was beautiful out. A bit chilly with a wind coming from the east.
Afternoon update:
The Easter candy has been out on display since Valentine's day ended. I am a sucker for packaging and was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't have any without going overboard. Chocolate is one of my "must have" foods. The sugar free stuff is good - but way too expensive for a semi-retired person (plus I gave it up for Lent). The real stuff is very hard to limit. Anna gave me some Hershey Cacao reserve bars yesterday. They're pretty good, but they do have sugar in them so I have to be careful. They are dark chocolate so for some reason they don't set off cravings. I decided to make an old favorite that I had forgotten about - chocolate peanut butter cups. I made them in some pretty Easter muffin papers. Ahhhhhh! Life is good.
I can't believe how well I did yesterday. It would have been so easy to just chuck the whole thing until Monday when life slowed down. I am very, very nervous on freeways, particularly I75. I wasn't driving, but it doesn't matter. The traffic weaving in and out of lanes and merging and the myriad of other things to watch for give me a huge headache. I am proud of how I did yesterday. Now today I get the exercise back on track. I am getting ready to head out the door. It's sunny and beautiful out!
Daily stats:
Weight: 233
Down 3 from last Saturday
BMI: 38.35
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/Walter's woods/back
Time: 31 minutes
Average HR: 123
Maximum HR: 145
Calories burned:250
Temperature: 32 degrees
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Thoughts:
It was beautiful out. A bit chilly with a wind coming from the east.
Afternoon update:
The Easter candy has been out on display since Valentine's day ended. I am a sucker for packaging and was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't have any without going overboard. Chocolate is one of my "must have" foods. The sugar free stuff is good - but way too expensive for a semi-retired person (plus I gave it up for Lent). The real stuff is very hard to limit. Anna gave me some Hershey Cacao reserve bars yesterday. They're pretty good, but they do have sugar in them so I have to be careful. They are dark chocolate so for some reason they don't set off cravings. I decided to make an old favorite that I had forgotten about - chocolate peanut butter cups. I made them in some pretty Easter muffin papers. Ahhhhhh! Life is good.
Thursday
Catching up
Morning update:
Food is good. Workouts have suffered. It seems that every time I try to get one in, someone calls. These calls I have to answer because there has been a death in the family. I am going to try and get something in later - no promises. However, the scale is moving down and that's always a good thing.
Food is good. Workouts have suffered. It seems that every time I try to get one in, someone calls. These calls I have to answer because there has been a death in the family. I am going to try and get something in later - no promises. However, the scale is moving down and that's always a good thing.
Tuesday
Life, death, and other weighty topics
I got some bad news last night. My cousin died. A sudden death, or any death that hits close to home for that matter, sets me on end. It's like, who cares if I eat a pound of chocolate, I could die tomorrow and the sacrifice would have been for nothing. But that's stinkin' thinkin'. It's not about how much chocolate we do or do not eat in our lifetime. Chocolate isn't even the real problem now, is it? It's about quality of life. I can't add a single second to Cindy's life by making mine worse. And I definitely can't add a single second to my own by worrying and throwing my whole program to the winds.
I fully intended to go out running this morning. But I put it off. As it turned out, my brother, whom I have lost touch with over the last few years, returned my call about Cindy. We had a long talk. I regret that we have lost touch, and he is struggling in this economy. No one really understands the dynamics of the family in which I grew up. But long story short, there is no loss without some gain. I like to think that Cindy is smiling down, glad that Bob and I spoke.
I didn't get outside today, but my resolve is strengthened to get my eating back on track. Sugar is such a demon in my life.
There's not much to read today. I'm dealing with my grief by heading for my quilting room. That is a huge change from heading for the M&Ms. I guess I am making some progress.
Again, I want to thank all of the kind ladies who comment on my blog. Your support is very precious to me.
I fully intended to go out running this morning. But I put it off. As it turned out, my brother, whom I have lost touch with over the last few years, returned my call about Cindy. We had a long talk. I regret that we have lost touch, and he is struggling in this economy. No one really understands the dynamics of the family in which I grew up. But long story short, there is no loss without some gain. I like to think that Cindy is smiling down, glad that Bob and I spoke.
I didn't get outside today, but my resolve is strengthened to get my eating back on track. Sugar is such a demon in my life.
There's not much to read today. I'm dealing with my grief by heading for my quilting room. That is a huge change from heading for the M&Ms. I guess I am making some progress.
Again, I want to thank all of the kind ladies who comment on my blog. Your support is very precious to me.
Monday
The past is past - a new week awaits!
Morning update:
First of all, thank you Jinx, Ida, and the Incredible Shrinking Mom, for your kind comments yesterday. As Jinx has said, they mean more to me than you know. An encouraging comment can often be the just the thing to turn slip ups into victory. You ladies are awesome.
Today the temp is 25 degrees, but the wind is low so I will be going out on the road. Today is a strength day so I will be taking my weights with me. I'll do core work later on tonight.
Yesterday I went shopping with Anna and looked at some new clothes. Nothing like a trip to the fitting room to give you a good dose of reality. It can either depress the heck out of you or can spur you on to staying the course. I have decided on the latter. It's easy to fool yourself into thinking things aren't all that bad - especially when all you ever see in the mirror is from the neck up. I miss the old me. I need to bring her back. She's still here, somewhere inside, buried under the layers of buffer that I have allowed myself to accumulate. The current me is not how I see myself and it is a bit depressing to get a glimpse, every now and then, of what other people are seeing. But I also can't focus on that. I get overwhelmed by the bigger picture - so I am just concentrating on my immediate goal. That is more than enough to keep me busy.
Daily stats:
Weight: 236
Up 1.8 from last Monday
BMI: 38.49
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/Walter's Woods/back
Time: 32 minutes
Average HR: 126
Maximum HR: 142
Calories burned: 271
Temperature: 25 degrees
Total carbs:
Total calories: -
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Thoughts:
I got out on the road at 10:40. I was hoping to get out earlier but a couple of phone calls came in that couldn't wait until later. The walk/run was nice. I didn't take my weights with me so I still need to get a strength training session in. It was breezier than I thought and so the trip toward the east was pretty chilly as that is where the wind was coming from. I have 2 dogs to contend with now on the dead end. They look like Dobermans but may be Labs. I'm not sure. The bigger one barks a lot but doesn't leave the yard. Usually putting my hand up and shouting "stay" or "it's okay" calms him down. The lady who lives there lost her husband recently and I'm sure this is a security measure for her. Dogs usually get used to seeing me after a while. All the more reason for me to be consistent with workouts.
At the deadend by the highway, I was checking my HRM and stepped into a rut and jolted my back. I'm hoping that's not going to be a problem. I have noticed some cracking in my back lately which is probably arthritis. I am going to have to be vigilant about stretching too.
First of all, thank you Jinx, Ida, and the Incredible Shrinking Mom, for your kind comments yesterday. As Jinx has said, they mean more to me than you know. An encouraging comment can often be the just the thing to turn slip ups into victory. You ladies are awesome.
Today the temp is 25 degrees, but the wind is low so I will be going out on the road. Today is a strength day so I will be taking my weights with me. I'll do core work later on tonight.
Yesterday I went shopping with Anna and looked at some new clothes. Nothing like a trip to the fitting room to give you a good dose of reality. It can either depress the heck out of you or can spur you on to staying the course. I have decided on the latter. It's easy to fool yourself into thinking things aren't all that bad - especially when all you ever see in the mirror is from the neck up. I miss the old me. I need to bring her back. She's still here, somewhere inside, buried under the layers of buffer that I have allowed myself to accumulate. The current me is not how I see myself and it is a bit depressing to get a glimpse, every now and then, of what other people are seeing. But I also can't focus on that. I get overwhelmed by the bigger picture - so I am just concentrating on my immediate goal. That is more than enough to keep me busy.
Daily stats:
Weight: 236
Up 1.8 from last Monday
BMI: 38.49
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/Walter's Woods/back
Time: 32 minutes
Average HR: 126
Maximum HR: 142
Calories burned: 271
Temperature: 25 degrees
Total carbs:
Total calories: -
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Thoughts:
I got out on the road at 10:40. I was hoping to get out earlier but a couple of phone calls came in that couldn't wait until later. The walk/run was nice. I didn't take my weights with me so I still need to get a strength training session in. It was breezier than I thought and so the trip toward the east was pretty chilly as that is where the wind was coming from. I have 2 dogs to contend with now on the dead end. They look like Dobermans but may be Labs. I'm not sure. The bigger one barks a lot but doesn't leave the yard. Usually putting my hand up and shouting "stay" or "it's okay" calms him down. The lady who lives there lost her husband recently and I'm sure this is a security measure for her. Dogs usually get used to seeing me after a while. All the more reason for me to be consistent with workouts.
At the deadend by the highway, I was checking my HRM and stepped into a rut and jolted my back. I'm hoping that's not going to be a problem. I have noticed some cracking in my back lately which is probably arthritis. I am going to have to be vigilant about stretching too.
Sunday
Spring has sprung
I couldn't get in here yesterday because something was up with Blogger and it told me I was a spammer. Hmmmmmmm. I may be many things, but I am not a spammer. Never would I spam a single soul. LOL!
Things have not gone well on the journey front the last couple of days, but I am still plugging along, trying to get to my goal.
Not much good news to report and I really don't feel like reporting my setbacks.
Today will be a much better day than yesterday. I guarantee it!
Things have not gone well on the journey front the last couple of days, but I am still plugging along, trying to get to my goal.
Not much good news to report and I really don't feel like reporting my setbacks.
Today will be a much better day than yesterday. I guarantee it!
Thursday
Movin' on down the road.
Morning update:
I'm up early and going out for my workout. I love going out early but haven't managed to make myself do it. Today's the day.
Daily stats:
Weight: 233.2
Down .3 from last Thursday
BMI: 38.13
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/Brown's woods/back
Time: 30
Average HR: 123
Maximum HR: 136
Total carbs:
Total calories: - 250 calories burned
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Notes: Temp 29 -
Got out on the road at 7:45
Great workout. It was nice being out so early and watching the sun come up.
Afternoon update:
Evening update:
I'm up early and going out for my workout. I love going out early but haven't managed to make myself do it. Today's the day.
Daily stats:
Weight: 233.2
Down .3 from last Thursday
BMI: 38.13
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/Brown's woods/back
Time: 30
Average HR: 123
Maximum HR: 136
Total carbs:
Total calories: - 250 calories burned
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Notes: Temp 29 -
Got out on the road at 7:45
Great workout. It was nice being out so early and watching the sun come up.
Afternoon update:
Evening update:
Wednesday
Oh, what a beautiful morning.
Morning update:
I am happy that I stayed on track yesterday. As often happens, I was not rewarded at the scale, but I don't care. I have noticed that when I stay on track - and that has been very rare lately - that I don't see the fruits of that for a few days. Therefore, I do not pay much attention to daily weigh-ins other than as a way to notice trends.
People who know me well, know that on my morning walk/runs I pray the rosary. Today's mysteries are the Glorious ones. It's a perfect day for them as it is gloriously beautiful outside today. So many people seem to be coming out of a slump lately. I'm wondering if it's weather related.
My little Tweetlebugs just stopped by with their Mommy. They've been out for a run already, so I'd best get going too.
Daily stats:
Weight: 234.8
Up 2 from last Wednesday
BMI: 38.46
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/quick stop at the corner/back
Time: 30
Average HR: 126
Maximum HR: 144
Total carbs:
Total calories: -246 calories burned
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Notes: Temp 47 -
I got out on the road at about 10:30. It was a great walk/run. I am really looking forward to the day when it again becomes a straight run. I usually have the deadend to myself, but there was a guy cutting some brush at the edge of the field. On the way back, I saw my little Tweetlebugs on their front porch waving at me so I stopped (didn't really stop, I ran in place) to grab a couple of hugs. Oh, and I figured out why the scale was up today. I forgot my supps and meds yesterday, one of which is HCTZ. (I only take 2 meds - I am not THAT old yet.) I realized it when I looked at my hands and saw how puffed up they are.
When I got home I did 15 minutes worth of core work on the stability ball.
Afternoon update:
Evening update:
I am happy that I stayed on track yesterday. As often happens, I was not rewarded at the scale, but I don't care. I have noticed that when I stay on track - and that has been very rare lately - that I don't see the fruits of that for a few days. Therefore, I do not pay much attention to daily weigh-ins other than as a way to notice trends.
People who know me well, know that on my morning walk/runs I pray the rosary. Today's mysteries are the Glorious ones. It's a perfect day for them as it is gloriously beautiful outside today. So many people seem to be coming out of a slump lately. I'm wondering if it's weather related.
My little Tweetlebugs just stopped by with their Mommy. They've been out for a run already, so I'd best get going too.
Daily stats:
Weight: 234.8
Up 2 from last Wednesday
BMI: 38.46
Workout type: Walk/run
Route: Deadend/quick stop at the corner/back
Time: 30
Average HR: 126
Maximum HR: 144
Total carbs:
Total calories: -246 calories burned
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Notes: Temp 47 -
I got out on the road at about 10:30. It was a great walk/run. I am really looking forward to the day when it again becomes a straight run. I usually have the deadend to myself, but there was a guy cutting some brush at the edge of the field. On the way back, I saw my little Tweetlebugs on their front porch waving at me so I stopped (didn't really stop, I ran in place) to grab a couple of hugs. Oh, and I figured out why the scale was up today. I forgot my supps and meds yesterday, one of which is HCTZ. (I only take 2 meds - I am not THAT old yet.) I realized it when I looked at my hands and saw how puffed up they are.
When I got home I did 15 minutes worth of core work on the stability ball.
Afternoon update:
Evening update:
Tuesday
Getting back in the groove
Morning update:
Happy St. Patrick's day everyone. Today is the day that I get back in the groove. I'm still a little stuffy so the workout will be a walking one. It's important for me to get back on track as soon as possible. As Leslie Sansone says, "the more you sit, the more you want to sit. The more you move, the more you want to move." Also, I have heard that we all need at least 30 minutes of sunlight a day to keep our mood in balance - always a good thing.
Daily stats:
Weight: 234
Up 1.2 from last Tuesday
BMI: 38.42
Workout type: Walk/run
Route:Deadend/back/short loop/home
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR: 122
Maximum HR: 134
Total carbs: 57 net carbs
Total calories: 1748-282 burned = 1466 net calories
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Notes: Temp 39 -
I was so inspired reading about Jinx's recent race that I've decided to try out for 2 of them next year. It's too late to train for them this year.
I got out on the road about 9:45 - a little later than I like, but I got out there. It was so great to get outside after so many weeks of cold, wet weather. The dead-end route was fairly firm - not too muddy. I saw deer hoof prints all along the side of the road for about a quarter mile, but no deer. I could smell the earthy smell of silage. The good kind, not the rotten yogurt kind that one encounters about 1/2 mile south of us and on certain days - when the wind is from the south- finds its way over to all of us north of there. When I got home I took the lighted Christmas garland off the front porch. The wreath is still in really good condition. I hate to take that down yet, so I won't. Harold is out boiling sap. Amazing. We are having a great syrup year.
Afternoon update:
I'm doing well today, so far. I made 2 batches of candles and it is warm outside. The house smells of orange danish and blueberry candles.
Attention Kud - I'm not able to comment on your blog (stupid blogger.com) but I want to send you a hug. I can identify with the needing to fill a void mentality.
Evening update:
I had a meeting tonight - came home to watch the rest of Biggest Loser. I wish just once the Blue Team could win something - anything. Cathy is a class act. I met my goals for today. I am a happy camper!
Happy St. Patrick's day everyone. Today is the day that I get back in the groove. I'm still a little stuffy so the workout will be a walking one. It's important for me to get back on track as soon as possible. As Leslie Sansone says, "the more you sit, the more you want to sit. The more you move, the more you want to move." Also, I have heard that we all need at least 30 minutes of sunlight a day to keep our mood in balance - always a good thing.
Daily stats:
Weight: 234
Up 1.2 from last Tuesday
BMI: 38.42
Workout type: Walk/run
Route:Deadend/back/short loop/home
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR: 122
Maximum HR: 134
Total carbs: 57 net carbs
Total calories: 1748-282 burned = 1466 net calories
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Notes: Temp 39 -
I was so inspired reading about Jinx's recent race that I've decided to try out for 2 of them next year. It's too late to train for them this year.
I got out on the road about 9:45 - a little later than I like, but I got out there. It was so great to get outside after so many weeks of cold, wet weather. The dead-end route was fairly firm - not too muddy. I saw deer hoof prints all along the side of the road for about a quarter mile, but no deer. I could smell the earthy smell of silage. The good kind, not the rotten yogurt kind that one encounters about 1/2 mile south of us and on certain days - when the wind is from the south- finds its way over to all of us north of there. When I got home I took the lighted Christmas garland off the front porch. The wreath is still in really good condition. I hate to take that down yet, so I won't. Harold is out boiling sap. Amazing. We are having a great syrup year.
Afternoon update:
I'm doing well today, so far. I made 2 batches of candles and it is warm outside. The house smells of orange danish and blueberry candles.
Attention Kud - I'm not able to comment on your blog (stupid blogger.com) but I want to send you a hug. I can identify with the needing to fill a void mentality.
Evening update:
I had a meeting tonight - came home to watch the rest of Biggest Loser. I wish just once the Blue Team could win something - anything. Cathy is a class act. I met my goals for today. I am a happy camper!
Monday
On the mend
What a difference a day makes. I finally feel somewhat human again. I am still hacking, but hopefully I will be able to get out for a gentle walk tomorrow.
Thank you to all of you who left comments for me. I can't leave a comment here or on some other blogs - I wish blogger would get that fixed. I don't want people to think I am ignoring them.
Thank you to all of you who left comments for me. I can't leave a comment here or on some other blogs - I wish blogger would get that fixed. I don't want people to think I am ignoring them.
Sunday
Sick as a dog
First order of business:
Today's weigh in 234.2. Not great. Not great at all
I woke up this morning feeling really bad. My throat hurts, my lungs hurt, my head hurts. Thankfully, I have a strong cantor singing at church this morning, because I have no voice whatsoever. To add insult to injury, it is absolutely gorgeous out there today.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be feeling better and able to get some kind of workout in that doesn't leave me wheezing and coughing.
Today's weigh in 234.2. Not great. Not great at all
I woke up this morning feeling really bad. My throat hurts, my lungs hurt, my head hurts. Thankfully, I have a strong cantor singing at church this morning, because I have no voice whatsoever. To add insult to injury, it is absolutely gorgeous out there today.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be feeling better and able to get some kind of workout in that doesn't leave me wheezing and coughing.
Friday
Cough cough Hack Hack
Weight: 234.2
Down .4 from last Friday
BMI: 38.09
Day 7
Daily stats: No workout due to having bronchitis
Type:
Route:
Time:
Average HR:
Maximum HR:
Total carbs:
Total calories:
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Menu Accountability:
Breakfast: Cafe Latte - Oatmeal with peanut butter
Lunch: Gorton's fish tenders with breading removed, V8 juice, cucumbers, 1/2 piece almond crusted cheesecake
Snack: Macadamia nuts, Dannon light 'n fit, apple
Dinner:
Morning update:
Yesterday was not a great on plan day. I have a really bad cough. I went to the doctor today and I have bronchitis.
Afternoon update:
So far today eating is on track. I stopped at the store and bought some oranges and cucumbers and some yogurt. I can't workout right now due to breathing issues, but I can concentrating on eating right. At the doctor's office I read an article that said the pistachio nuts can lower LDL. That's a good thing - and I like pistachios.
Evening update:
Down .4 from last Friday
BMI: 38.09
Day 7
Daily stats: No workout due to having bronchitis
Type:
Route:
Time:
Average HR:
Maximum HR:
Total carbs:
Total calories:
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Menu Accountability:
Breakfast: Cafe Latte - Oatmeal with peanut butter
Lunch: Gorton's fish tenders with breading removed, V8 juice, cucumbers, 1/2 piece almond crusted cheesecake
Snack: Macadamia nuts, Dannon light 'n fit, apple
Dinner:
Morning update:
Yesterday was not a great on plan day. I have a really bad cough. I went to the doctor today and I have bronchitis.
Afternoon update:
So far today eating is on track. I stopped at the store and bought some oranges and cucumbers and some yogurt. I can't workout right now due to breathing issues, but I can concentrating on eating right. At the doctor's office I read an article that said the pistachio nuts can lower LDL. That's a good thing - and I like pistachios.
Evening update:
Thursday
A little soul searching if you please
Weight: 234.8
Down 1.4 from last Wednesday
BMI: 38.54
Day 6
Daily stats:
Type:
Route:
Time:
Average HR:
Maximum HR:
Total carbs:
Total calories:
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Menu Accountability:
Breakfast: Cafe Latte - Beachgirl's cheesecake
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner:
Morning update:
After posting my evening update last night I ate. I don't know why I ate. I don't even know if I was hungry. Yesterday was a fairly good day, but at night I was feeling bad and I don't know why. And I don't know why I always think food will fix it. I was tempted to not even post today, but I can't be dishonest about this. I watched Biggest Loser the other night and watched the Black Team pig out on their luxury trip. I couldn't understand how they could do that to themselves. And yet I do it to myself all the time - a classic case of projection. I don't know when I will get my workout in today. but I will get one in. I am so sick of constantly breaking my own promises to myself. I wouldn't do that to anyone I cared about, or even someone I don't care about, so why do I do it to myself? On the Biggest Loser, Jillian often tells the people that unless they can look at the underlying reasons for doing what they do, they will continue to do it. I don't know why I constantly sabotage myself, why I undermine myself day after day, year after year. I don't need a kick in the pants. I need to know why I can't care enough about myself to do what I know I need to do.
I have had this battle with food for as long as I can remember. I was fairly active as a kid so I could get away with it - for a while. After my mother died, it became harder. Food was my way to cope. In high school, while other kids were sneaking a cigarette in the girls' john or passing joints around, my drug of choice was M&Ms. They still are, along with anything else that happens to be around when I'm feeling bad - or good - or happy - or sad - or lonely - or tired. I don't understand why I could quit smoking after 30 years and I still can't get a handle on this.
But I'm going to try another day, and another, and another. I may fail time and time again, but I never give up. By God, I never give up.
Afternoon update:
Evening update:
Down 1.4 from last Wednesday
BMI: 38.54
Day 6
Daily stats:
Type:
Route:
Time:
Average HR:
Maximum HR:
Total carbs:
Total calories:
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today - please
Goal for April 1: 229
Menu Accountability:
Breakfast: Cafe Latte - Beachgirl's cheesecake
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner:
Morning update:
After posting my evening update last night I ate. I don't know why I ate. I don't even know if I was hungry. Yesterday was a fairly good day, but at night I was feeling bad and I don't know why. And I don't know why I always think food will fix it. I was tempted to not even post today, but I can't be dishonest about this. I watched Biggest Loser the other night and watched the Black Team pig out on their luxury trip. I couldn't understand how they could do that to themselves. And yet I do it to myself all the time - a classic case of projection. I don't know when I will get my workout in today. but I will get one in. I am so sick of constantly breaking my own promises to myself. I wouldn't do that to anyone I cared about, or even someone I don't care about, so why do I do it to myself? On the Biggest Loser, Jillian often tells the people that unless they can look at the underlying reasons for doing what they do, they will continue to do it. I don't know why I constantly sabotage myself, why I undermine myself day after day, year after year. I don't need a kick in the pants. I need to know why I can't care enough about myself to do what I know I need to do.
I have had this battle with food for as long as I can remember. I was fairly active as a kid so I could get away with it - for a while. After my mother died, it became harder. Food was my way to cope. In high school, while other kids were sneaking a cigarette in the girls' john or passing joints around, my drug of choice was M&Ms. They still are, along with anything else that happens to be around when I'm feeling bad - or good - or happy - or sad - or lonely - or tired. I don't understand why I could quit smoking after 30 years and I still can't get a handle on this.
But I'm going to try another day, and another, and another. I may fail time and time again, but I never give up. By God, I never give up.
Afternoon update:
Evening update:
Wednesday
Day 5 - still struggling
Weight: 232.8
Down 1.4 from last Wednesday
BMI: 38.13
Day 5
Daily stats:
Type: Stability ball core
Route: Living room
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR: 101
Maximum HR: 126
Total carbs:
Total calories:
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today
Goal for April 1: 229
Menu Accountability:
Breakfast: Cafe Latte - Tortilla with cheese
Lunch: large salad with dressing, 3 oz Italian sausage, 1/2 apple, 1 cup NSA ice cream
Snack: Atkins bar, Planters nut mix
Dinner: cheeseburger without a bun, 2 oz macadamia nuts
Morning update:
It is windy - very windy - out today. There are flurries. Today is strength training day so I will probably do a Firm video. I would give myself a C- so far for effort in sticking to my action plan. I think I'm going to print off my Action Plan and tape it on my bathroom mirror. As I read other blogs, it seems that everyone is feeling kind of blah right now. I think it's that end of season kind of thing. We're tired of winter and spring isn't quite here. I know what I need to do. I start the day with all kinds of resolve and then it's as if I leave and my needy inner child takes over. I think I have a hard time around this time of year anyway. My mother died on March 11 and my dad died in April. The early spring season always finds me thinking about them. And then there is Lent and Easter in the mix and the analogies are all there.
I didn't catch the end of last night's Loser - well, I sort of did - I saw that Mandi was sent home. I'm not sure how the elimination played itself out because I was on the phone at the very end. The black team is beginning to get on my nerves. Felipe's hissy fit left me scratching my head. I must have missed something because I don't understand why Jillian was ignoring him. I also don't understand how Ron came to the conclusion that Mandi had to go home. He said it as if it was obvious, but I'm not getting it.
************************************************
I ended up doing the Stability ball - simpler - no hauling out of equipment. It's a very good core workout
Afternoon update:
I am frustrated with Blogger because it won't let me leave comments on some blogs including this one. Bee, Amy, and Shrinking Family - I had forgotten that Felipe was trying to forestall any criticism of a small loss by blaming Jillian. I liked Ron in the beginning, but now I find him judgemental and condescending. Yes, he has health issues, but he is responsible for the extent that obesity plays a part in those issues. He seems to have appointed himself the spokesperson for the Black team and I don't think he's earned that right. And what is up with Bob? He should have sent those two whiners right back to Jillian. I think that would have been the ethical thing to do.
********************************
So far today is going very well. I assigned myself some tasks that need to be done today and I am interspersing them with quilting (my fun thing to do).
Evening update:
Feeling melancholy tonight, not sure why. It'll pass, it always does.
Down 1.4 from last Wednesday
BMI: 38.13
Day 5
Daily stats:
Type: Stability ball core
Route: Living room
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR: 101
Maximum HR: 126
Total carbs:
Total calories:
Challenge for the day: Staying the course - just for today
Goal for April 1: 229
Menu Accountability:
Breakfast: Cafe Latte - Tortilla with cheese
Lunch: large salad with dressing, 3 oz Italian sausage, 1/2 apple, 1 cup NSA ice cream
Snack: Atkins bar, Planters nut mix
Dinner: cheeseburger without a bun, 2 oz macadamia nuts
Morning update:
It is windy - very windy - out today. There are flurries. Today is strength training day so I will probably do a Firm video. I would give myself a C- so far for effort in sticking to my action plan. I think I'm going to print off my Action Plan and tape it on my bathroom mirror. As I read other blogs, it seems that everyone is feeling kind of blah right now. I think it's that end of season kind of thing. We're tired of winter and spring isn't quite here. I know what I need to do. I start the day with all kinds of resolve and then it's as if I leave and my needy inner child takes over. I think I have a hard time around this time of year anyway. My mother died on March 11 and my dad died in April. The early spring season always finds me thinking about them. And then there is Lent and Easter in the mix and the analogies are all there.
I didn't catch the end of last night's Loser - well, I sort of did - I saw that Mandi was sent home. I'm not sure how the elimination played itself out because I was on the phone at the very end. The black team is beginning to get on my nerves. Felipe's hissy fit left me scratching my head. I must have missed something because I don't understand why Jillian was ignoring him. I also don't understand how Ron came to the conclusion that Mandi had to go home. He said it as if it was obvious, but I'm not getting it.
************************************************
I ended up doing the Stability ball - simpler - no hauling out of equipment. It's a very good core workout
Afternoon update:
I am frustrated with Blogger because it won't let me leave comments on some blogs including this one. Bee, Amy, and Shrinking Family - I had forgotten that Felipe was trying to forestall any criticism of a small loss by blaming Jillian. I liked Ron in the beginning, but now I find him judgemental and condescending. Yes, he has health issues, but he is responsible for the extent that obesity plays a part in those issues. He seems to have appointed himself the spokesperson for the Black team and I don't think he's earned that right. And what is up with Bob? He should have sent those two whiners right back to Jillian. I think that would have been the ethical thing to do.
********************************
So far today is going very well. I assigned myself some tasks that need to be done today and I am interspersing them with quilting (my fun thing to do).
Evening update:
Feeling melancholy tonight, not sure why. It'll pass, it always does.
Tuesday
Day 4 - nipping slips in the bud
Weight: 232.8
Down .6 from last Tuesday
BMI: 38.05
Day 4
Daily stats:
Total carbs: 94 - way too many
Total calories: 1800
Challenge for the day: Stay with the plan - didn't really do that today
Goal for April 1: 229
Menu Accountability:
Breakfast: Cafe latte, oatmeal with peanut butter
Lunch: Tortilla with cheese, 1 cup SF ice cream
Snack: Atkins bar
Dinner: Coleslaw - 2 servings with mayo and ham. Tortilla and peanut butter.
Morning update:
I never got here last night. It was one of those days where I ran around all day long. I got home and didn't feel very well. Food wasn't bad, but wasn't as disciplined as I would have liked it to be. I didn't check in with God much during the day and that seems to be key for me. We did have a discussion last night when I was tempted to head for the cupboards. It's far too easy to stray off and try to do things my own way. We all know how well that works.
My workout yesterday was with the stability ball. I used the DVD that came with it and got a really good core workout. I woke up this morning still not feeling very well. I have an eye appointment so my workout will be later in the afternoon. Tuesdays are cardio days and it's pouring outside so I will probably get on the treadmill. If I'm not feeling any better, I may just do some light cardio from Wii Fit. I do a body check with Wii Tillie every morning. She says I'm 39 today. I wish. LOL! With the Wii Fit you set BMI goals. I hit mine this morning. Tillie is worried about me. I assured her I was fine and set a new goal for 2 weeks from today. But my official small term goals are for the first of every month.
Afternoon update:
Things are going well so far today. I've kept busy doing things that I like to do. I've pretty much had the day to myself. Did some work on things for the syrup festival. Tonight we'll probably be boiling. And . . . of course, there is Biggest Loser. I've going to do some light cardio while I'm watching it so I can get my workout in today.
Evening update:
I bounced around on the stability ball tonight while I was watching Biggest Loser. I'm still not feeling all that great. I discovered that yesterday's workout really did work me out. I definitely felt it in my core tonight while I was balancing on the stability ball. I'm off to stretch before getting ready for bed.
************************************************************
Down .6 from last Tuesday
BMI: 38.05
Day 4
Daily stats:
Total carbs: 94 - way too many
Total calories: 1800
Challenge for the day: Stay with the plan - didn't really do that today
Goal for April 1: 229
Menu Accountability:
Breakfast: Cafe latte, oatmeal with peanut butter
Lunch: Tortilla with cheese, 1 cup SF ice cream
Snack: Atkins bar
Dinner: Coleslaw - 2 servings with mayo and ham. Tortilla and peanut butter.
Morning update:
I never got here last night. It was one of those days where I ran around all day long. I got home and didn't feel very well. Food wasn't bad, but wasn't as disciplined as I would have liked it to be. I didn't check in with God much during the day and that seems to be key for me. We did have a discussion last night when I was tempted to head for the cupboards. It's far too easy to stray off and try to do things my own way. We all know how well that works.
My workout yesterday was with the stability ball. I used the DVD that came with it and got a really good core workout. I woke up this morning still not feeling very well. I have an eye appointment so my workout will be later in the afternoon. Tuesdays are cardio days and it's pouring outside so I will probably get on the treadmill. If I'm not feeling any better, I may just do some light cardio from Wii Fit. I do a body check with Wii Tillie every morning. She says I'm 39 today. I wish. LOL! With the Wii Fit you set BMI goals. I hit mine this morning. Tillie is worried about me. I assured her I was fine and set a new goal for 2 weeks from today. But my official small term goals are for the first of every month.
Afternoon update:
Things are going well so far today. I've kept busy doing things that I like to do. I've pretty much had the day to myself. Did some work on things for the syrup festival. Tonight we'll probably be boiling. And . . . of course, there is Biggest Loser. I've going to do some light cardio while I'm watching it so I can get my workout in today.
Evening update:
I bounced around on the stability ball tonight while I was watching Biggest Loser. I'm still not feeling all that great. I discovered that yesterday's workout really did work me out. I definitely felt it in my core tonight while I was balancing on the stability ball. I'm off to stretch before getting ready for bed.
************************************************************
Sunday
March showers, wedding showers, it's raining here!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Weight: 235.2
BMI: 38.57
Day Two
Daily stats:
Type: jogging
Route: Up and down the road.
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR 122
Maximum HR 136
Total carbs: 49
Total calories: 2339
Challenge for the day: Bridal shower
Goal for April 1: 229
Menu Accountability:
Breakfast: Café latte, tortilla and cheese
Lunch: lots of romaine lettuce, ¼ cup shredded cheese, ranch dressing, salsa, 4 large strawberries, several grapes
Snack: Atkins bar
Dinner: Chicken salad - ½ cup, macadamia nuts - 2 oz, NSA ice cream - 1 cup
Evening - 3 oz. macadamia nuts, 3 SF chocolate coconut candies
Morning update:
I woke up this morning feeling great because I stuck to my plan yesterday. The scale didn’t reward me, but that’s okay. I weigh every day and I know there are fluctuations. I never compare to the previous day - only to the previous week. I am up from last Sunday, but that’s okay too because it’s in the past. I have a new resolve.
I am attending a bridal shower for one of my nieces today. My 2 sisters-in-law who are hosting it are very talented cooks and hostesses. I am going to pretend that this is a Biggest Loser challenge and that there are hidden cameras watching me. I am packing an Atkins bar just in case there is nothing there that I can eat. I will also have a bottle of water with me. I am now headed out for my workout. Wii Tillie says I am 45 today.
This morning’s run/walk was great. It felt a lot chillier than 30 degrees, though. I just went back and forth up and down the road because of all the mud. It felt so good to be out. I can’t wait until the weather moderates and I can do my regular route.
Afternoon update:
The shower went great. I stayed the course without having to use my weekly rest stop. There were salad fixings and fruit. It was very easy to stay on target. I had strawberries and grapes as “dessert” and they were just the thing I needed.
I started the baby's quilt so that should keep me busy for tonight!
Evening update:
If you read my other blog, you will know that we had an impromptu family gathering. It is maple syrup season and the guys were boiling sap in the sugar house. That means people stop by and gather in the sap house where there is usually food - pancakes or fried fish. Tonight it was pancakes slathered with butter and soaked in maple syrup fresh from the evaporator. Amid the cookie and pancake eating, I had one small bite of pancake with syrup. And I mean small - but I savored it.
************************************************************************
Weight: 235.2
BMI: 38.57
Day Two
Daily stats:
Type: jogging
Route: Up and down the road.
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR 122
Maximum HR 136
Total carbs: 49
Total calories: 2339
Challenge for the day: Bridal shower
Goal for April 1: 229
Menu Accountability:
Breakfast: Café latte, tortilla and cheese
Lunch: lots of romaine lettuce, ¼ cup shredded cheese, ranch dressing, salsa, 4 large strawberries, several grapes
Snack: Atkins bar
Dinner: Chicken salad - ½ cup, macadamia nuts - 2 oz, NSA ice cream - 1 cup
Evening - 3 oz. macadamia nuts, 3 SF chocolate coconut candies
Morning update:
I woke up this morning feeling great because I stuck to my plan yesterday. The scale didn’t reward me, but that’s okay. I weigh every day and I know there are fluctuations. I never compare to the previous day - only to the previous week. I am up from last Sunday, but that’s okay too because it’s in the past. I have a new resolve.
I am attending a bridal shower for one of my nieces today. My 2 sisters-in-law who are hosting it are very talented cooks and hostesses. I am going to pretend that this is a Biggest Loser challenge and that there are hidden cameras watching me. I am packing an Atkins bar just in case there is nothing there that I can eat. I will also have a bottle of water with me. I am now headed out for my workout. Wii Tillie says I am 45 today.
This morning’s run/walk was great. It felt a lot chillier than 30 degrees, though. I just went back and forth up and down the road because of all the mud. It felt so good to be out. I can’t wait until the weather moderates and I can do my regular route.
Afternoon update:
The shower went great. I stayed the course without having to use my weekly rest stop. There were salad fixings and fruit. It was very easy to stay on target. I had strawberries and grapes as “dessert” and they were just the thing I needed.
I started the baby's quilt so that should keep me busy for tonight!
Evening update:
If you read my other blog, you will know that we had an impromptu family gathering. It is maple syrup season and the guys were boiling sap in the sugar house. That means people stop by and gather in the sap house where there is usually food - pancakes or fried fish. Tonight it was pancakes slathered with butter and soaked in maple syrup fresh from the evaporator. Amid the cookie and pancake eating, I had one small bite of pancake with syrup. And I mean small - but I savored it.
************************************************************************
Saturday
A journey of a thousand miles begins with baby steps.
I am totally fed up with this whole weight thing. I am tired of talking about what I'm going to do and then never actually doing it. This blog is going in a new direction. I will be posting it each evening - during the time I am usually fighting with myself over food issues. I am hoping that this accountability will help me to keep the promises I have made to myself for years - and have never kept. I think there is an underlying thought pattern that says I am not worth it. This lie has been simmering in my brain for years. It IS a lie. I AM worth it. And I am going to start treating myself as such.
I am hoping that my blog will serve as an inspiration to others - particularly women my age, who may have given up or think "what the heck, I'm old anyway - who cares?" The truth is, lots of people care. My husband cares, my kids care, my grandkids care, my friends care - people care. They may not be the best at articulating that care, but it is there. My bad habit of letting worry over other people derail my own efforts has to be seen for what it is. I think on some level I feel guilty if things are going well for me and not for others. But,the truth is, if I am not taking care of myself, I am inflicting a burden of concern on others. I may not be able to do anything about their circumstances or worries in their lives, but I certainly don't need to add to their burdens by giving them reason to be concerned about me and my health. And if there is something I can do, wouldn't I be better served in taking care of myself so I can offer the best I have to give?
I woke up this morning and had a long talk with God about my situation. I know that he wants the best for me and will help me if I ask him. I just need to keep him in the picture. Each day will begin and end in a conversation with God. All success will serve to give glory to God. In OA this is referred to as our "Higher Power." That title doesn't work for me - it's too impersonal - but the concept is the same. What we can't do alone - and God knows, I haven't succeeded in doing it alone - God will help us with it. So with that said, tonight I will be posting my blog in it's new accountability format.
To those of you who are so faithful about leaving me comments, please know that I answer them when I can, but for some reason Blogger does not let me do it here or on certain other blogs. I appreciate the support and invite you to join me in this journey. If you wish to email me, you can click on the email link in my profile. Please put "Journey" in the subject line so I know where the email is coming from.
Hugs to all who share this unique challenge in life!
Mary
**********************************************************************************8
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Weight: 235
BMI: 38.42
Day One
Morning update:
I am so disgusted with myself. I cannot seem to get a handle on this eating. I can’t stop. I’ve prayed for help. Still I stuff food down. It’s like there is this huge void and I need to fill it fast or be consumed by it. I feel best when following Atkins, but I get so far and then it’s like someone else takes over my body. I can’t seem to get control for longer than a week or so. Today I am starting again. It is 31 degrees out. I am going out for a walk. Not a run - who am I kidding. But someday soon I will be running again.
I am 57. That’s pushing 60. It is unbelievable to me that I am that old. I look back at journals from the 1980’s and I am saying the same thing. “This will be the year. This year I am going to get to goal.” So why isn’t it happening? I can’t even look forward to being pretty anymore. The truth is, I am an old lady - but I can’t seem to believe it. I wonder what people think when they come to our house and see all of the workout videos and things. Do they chuckle to themselves and think “someone’s in denial?”
Well, the past is the past. I can do nothing about it. I can’t change a thing. My first order of business will be to formulate a plan of action”
Action Plan for the rest of March:
1. Begin the day with prayer asking God for help throughout the day.
2. 1600 calories per day
3. 30 minutes of some kind of exercise per day
4. 40 - 60 carbs per day
5. One rest stop per week
6. Two servings of vegetables per day
7. Set a goal for April 1.
8. Plan a reward for reaching that goal
9. Limit eating to 3 meals and one snack per day and log it
10. Prayer of Thanksgiving to God for guiding me through my day.
Afternoon update:
This morning’s walk was great. As I was going out the door I asked Harold if it was raining. He said, “nope, it’s too cold to rain.” My jacket is covered with “snow drops.” The dead-end is going to be a real mess once it starts to thaw. I am going to have to re-think my routes. The trucks have been leaving huge ruts (new owners of the adjacent farm)
I walked practically the whole route. I am so out of shape that it takes very little effort to get my heart rate into the zone. But with persistence comes progress. And I am nothing if not persistent.
My challenge for the day is to keep my eating in the confines of my plan for March. I am a grazer. I can eat phenomenal amounts of food, but not at one sitting. Today’s challenge is actually one of the steps in my plan of action. But it’s one I have to take one day at a time. When I quit smoking, my habit of picking up a cigarette became a habit of putting food in my mouth. I’m glad that I was able to quit smoking years ago, but I have never found the substitute for whatever it was that smoking did for me. They say that each of us has a God-shaped void inside. Maybe it’s that void I have been trying to fill with other things. That will be my prayer for tonight - to let God fill that void. Sounds simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. If so, I would have conquered this demon long ago.
Evening update:
It’s about 7:30 and I am doing fine. No cravings, no temptations. I’m a little over on calories, but not bad. The first day is always a little easier in some ways. The excitement of beginning again, the new resolve. The feeling that this time will be the time. I had no stressors today so I didn’t expect to have any problems tonight. I’m working on Claire’s quilt so that will keep me out of the kitchen. Tonight I am going to begin cutting the pieces for the baby quilt I’m making for Sam and Kelli’s expected little one.
Daily stats:
Route: Deadend and back, woods and back.
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR 121
Maximum HR 134
Total carbs: 58
Total calories: 1700
Challenge for the day: Eating only planned meals and snack
Goal for April 1: 229
Menu Accountability:
Breakfast: Café latte, oatmeal and peanut butter - second café latte
Lunch: Chicken salad wrap, cauliflower and broccoli, a couple of pork rinds, cup of sugar free pudding with squirt of whipped cream on top.
Snack: Atkins bar
Dinner: 2 egg omelette with 1 slice swiss cheese, 2 oz macadamia nuts
I am hoping that my blog will serve as an inspiration to others - particularly women my age, who may have given up or think "what the heck, I'm old anyway - who cares?" The truth is, lots of people care. My husband cares, my kids care, my grandkids care, my friends care - people care. They may not be the best at articulating that care, but it is there. My bad habit of letting worry over other people derail my own efforts has to be seen for what it is. I think on some level I feel guilty if things are going well for me and not for others. But,the truth is, if I am not taking care of myself, I am inflicting a burden of concern on others. I may not be able to do anything about their circumstances or worries in their lives, but I certainly don't need to add to their burdens by giving them reason to be concerned about me and my health. And if there is something I can do, wouldn't I be better served in taking care of myself so I can offer the best I have to give?
I woke up this morning and had a long talk with God about my situation. I know that he wants the best for me and will help me if I ask him. I just need to keep him in the picture. Each day will begin and end in a conversation with God. All success will serve to give glory to God. In OA this is referred to as our "Higher Power." That title doesn't work for me - it's too impersonal - but the concept is the same. What we can't do alone - and God knows, I haven't succeeded in doing it alone - God will help us with it. So with that said, tonight I will be posting my blog in it's new accountability format.
To those of you who are so faithful about leaving me comments, please know that I answer them when I can, but for some reason Blogger does not let me do it here or on certain other blogs. I appreciate the support and invite you to join me in this journey. If you wish to email me, you can click on the email link in my profile. Please put "Journey" in the subject line so I know where the email is coming from.
Hugs to all who share this unique challenge in life!
Mary
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Saturday, March 7, 2009
Weight: 235
BMI: 38.42
Day One
Morning update:
I am so disgusted with myself. I cannot seem to get a handle on this eating. I can’t stop. I’ve prayed for help. Still I stuff food down. It’s like there is this huge void and I need to fill it fast or be consumed by it. I feel best when following Atkins, but I get so far and then it’s like someone else takes over my body. I can’t seem to get control for longer than a week or so. Today I am starting again. It is 31 degrees out. I am going out for a walk. Not a run - who am I kidding. But someday soon I will be running again.
I am 57. That’s pushing 60. It is unbelievable to me that I am that old. I look back at journals from the 1980’s and I am saying the same thing. “This will be the year. This year I am going to get to goal.” So why isn’t it happening? I can’t even look forward to being pretty anymore. The truth is, I am an old lady - but I can’t seem to believe it. I wonder what people think when they come to our house and see all of the workout videos and things. Do they chuckle to themselves and think “someone’s in denial?”
Well, the past is the past. I can do nothing about it. I can’t change a thing. My first order of business will be to formulate a plan of action”
Action Plan for the rest of March:
1. Begin the day with prayer asking God for help throughout the day.
2. 1600 calories per day
3. 30 minutes of some kind of exercise per day
4. 40 - 60 carbs per day
5. One rest stop per week
6. Two servings of vegetables per day
7. Set a goal for April 1.
8. Plan a reward for reaching that goal
9. Limit eating to 3 meals and one snack per day and log it
10. Prayer of Thanksgiving to God for guiding me through my day.
Afternoon update:
This morning’s walk was great. As I was going out the door I asked Harold if it was raining. He said, “nope, it’s too cold to rain.” My jacket is covered with “snow drops.” The dead-end is going to be a real mess once it starts to thaw. I am going to have to re-think my routes. The trucks have been leaving huge ruts (new owners of the adjacent farm)
I walked practically the whole route. I am so out of shape that it takes very little effort to get my heart rate into the zone. But with persistence comes progress. And I am nothing if not persistent.
My challenge for the day is to keep my eating in the confines of my plan for March. I am a grazer. I can eat phenomenal amounts of food, but not at one sitting. Today’s challenge is actually one of the steps in my plan of action. But it’s one I have to take one day at a time. When I quit smoking, my habit of picking up a cigarette became a habit of putting food in my mouth. I’m glad that I was able to quit smoking years ago, but I have never found the substitute for whatever it was that smoking did for me. They say that each of us has a God-shaped void inside. Maybe it’s that void I have been trying to fill with other things. That will be my prayer for tonight - to let God fill that void. Sounds simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. If so, I would have conquered this demon long ago.
Evening update:
It’s about 7:30 and I am doing fine. No cravings, no temptations. I’m a little over on calories, but not bad. The first day is always a little easier in some ways. The excitement of beginning again, the new resolve. The feeling that this time will be the time. I had no stressors today so I didn’t expect to have any problems tonight. I’m working on Claire’s quilt so that will keep me out of the kitchen. Tonight I am going to begin cutting the pieces for the baby quilt I’m making for Sam and Kelli’s expected little one.
Daily stats:
Route: Deadend and back, woods and back.
Time: 30 minutes
Average HR 121
Maximum HR 134
Total carbs: 58
Total calories: 1700
Challenge for the day: Eating only planned meals and snack
Goal for April 1: 229
Menu Accountability:
Breakfast: Café latte, oatmeal and peanut butter - second café latte
Lunch: Chicken salad wrap, cauliflower and broccoli, a couple of pork rinds, cup of sugar free pudding with squirt of whipped cream on top.
Snack: Atkins bar
Dinner: 2 egg omelette with 1 slice swiss cheese, 2 oz macadamia nuts
Friday
Syrup season is now upon us!
With the temps as high as they are, the sap is running freely. It was so nice out today. I wish I hadn't had an early work day. I would have loved to get outside. I'm still not feeling up to par. A friend this morning told me that my eyes looked puffy. They feel puffy. On the way home from church I stopped at Walmart to get a stability ball. They are supposed to be good for core work. As we age, our core muscles are more important than ever because they support our bones and increase our strength. I can just see the fun that Clay and Claire will have with this when they come over.
Thursday
It's Thursday. But you knew that, didn't you?
Today was an early day. I don't know why, but I am just dead tired. No ambition. No nothing. I need to go take a nap. I think it may be the weather change - it is finally warming up. These freeze-thaw days make the sap run so if you like maple syrup, you should be rejoicing. Hopefully I will have more to write tomorrow.
Wednesday
The sap will soon be running and so will I!
First of all, TJ if you're reading, again I can't get my comment to post on your blog, but I know where you are. I think it's the time of year. Just hang in there. It will pass.
Today is a strength training day so I did varied workouts from the Firm Total Body Sculpt. A few years ago I was able to do the whole thing. Now I have to work my way back.
The guys are running the tap lines for sap. That means the weather is warming up. That means I can get outside. That means the Christmas garland and lights really have to come off the front porch.
Daily stats:
Workout:Firm
Route:Total Body Sculpt
Time: 26 minutes
Average heart rate: 99
Max heart rate: 136
Calories burned: 240
Up from last Wednesday
Started workout at: 9:00
Temp: 22 degrees
Followed by yoga on the Wii. Stretching feels great after a workout.
Tillie says I'm 43 today
Yoga:
Half Moon
Sun Salutation
and whatever games I'll do when Claire gets here.
Today is a strength training day so I did varied workouts from the Firm Total Body Sculpt. A few years ago I was able to do the whole thing. Now I have to work my way back.
The guys are running the tap lines for sap. That means the weather is warming up. That means I can get outside. That means the Christmas garland and lights really have to come off the front porch.
Daily stats:
Workout:Firm
Route:Total Body Sculpt
Time: 26 minutes
Average heart rate: 99
Max heart rate: 136
Calories burned: 240
Up from last Wednesday
Started workout at: 9:00
Temp: 22 degrees
Followed by yoga on the Wii. Stretching feels great after a workout.
Tillie says I'm 43 today
Yoga:
Half Moon
Sun Salutation
and whatever games I'll do when Claire gets here.
Tuesday
Ya don't always have to like it - just do it
Today is one of those days where I am tired of having to deal with this whole weight and health thing. But I have learned that this will pass. I have been learning to focus on today and let tomorrow take care of itself. At the moment I am nauseous due to having my pupils dilated. This condition will pass in about 3 hours. In the meantime, I am going to just take it easy and do some thinking about how I got to where I am and how great it will be to get to where I'm going.
Monday
A new week and lots to do
TJ - I hope you're reading this because I can't comment on my blog or yours. Don't know why, and it's annoying. HAPPY BIRTHDAY - enjoy your free day!
Yesterday I spent the afternoon in Saginaw at the Rite of Election. I ate breakfast about 9:00 and played Mass before heading out to the Cathedral. We left the Cathedral at 4:00. I was hungry when I got out. I mean hungry - not "oh a hamburger sounds good" but "if I don't eat I'm going to pass out." I've not gotten hungry like that in a long time. My friend Marian and I stopped at McDonald's on the way home. I used my Rest Stop for the week on a Happy Meal. Now it's back to the business of following my program.
******************************************
Daily stats:
Workout:Treadmill with weights
Route:workout room
Time:30 minutes
Average heart rate: 121
Max heart rate: 142
Calories burned: 240
Down .4 from last Monday
Started workout at: 9:30
Temp: 3 degrees
Followed by yoga on the Wii. Stretching feels great after a workout.
Tillie says I'm 43 today
Yoga:
Deep breathing
Half Moon
Downward Dog
Tree Pose
Yesterday I spent the afternoon in Saginaw at the Rite of Election. I ate breakfast about 9:00 and played Mass before heading out to the Cathedral. We left the Cathedral at 4:00. I was hungry when I got out. I mean hungry - not "oh a hamburger sounds good" but "if I don't eat I'm going to pass out." I've not gotten hungry like that in a long time. My friend Marian and I stopped at McDonald's on the way home. I used my Rest Stop for the week on a Happy Meal. Now it's back to the business of following my program.
******************************************
Daily stats:
Workout:Treadmill with weights
Route:workout room
Time:30 minutes
Average heart rate: 121
Max heart rate: 142
Calories burned: 240
Down .4 from last Monday
Started workout at: 9:30
Temp: 3 degrees
Followed by yoga on the Wii. Stretching feels great after a workout.
Tillie says I'm 43 today
Yoga:
Deep breathing
Half Moon
Downward Dog
Tree Pose
Sunday
Here is today's weigh-in. Not as great as I had hoped, but today starts a new month. My aim is to lose 6 pounds a month. At my age, I want to take it a little slower to give my skin a chance to adjust.
I started posting my weight on February 3.
My weigh-in that day was 238.8
Today's weight is 233 so I have lost 5.8 pounds so far. Pretty close to what I wanted to achieve. My goal for April 5 (Sunday is my weigh-in day) will be 226.
Last night the hubster and I went on an "Ultimate Date Night" hosted by Jay and Laura Laffoon, which our kids gave us as a retirement gift. Their ministry, "Celebrate Your Marriage," is based in Alma. They were hilarious and it was a great night. Dinner was included in the gift and we ate quite late (which may be why the scale was higher today than I would have liked.) But it was worth it. It was a great night.
I head down to the Cathedral today for the Rite of Election. I will be seeing a lot of people who will be shocked at how much weight I have gained. I am not going to let that get to me. Today is not about me and my weight and anyone who focuses on it - feh, to you! LOL!
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