Day 53: 100 Days Challenge - Food is my best friend

I didn't get an extra workout in on Monday.  I had intended to do a video, but the VCR wasn't working.  Yesterday was pretty stressful.  It went very well, but was still stressful. I got up this morning and did a 38 minute workout so I have 63 minutes in so far this week.  I did an interval changeup on the treadmill.  It's a combination of steep inclines, fast walking, light jogging and then a wind down.  It was great!

**************************

Today's topic is "Food is my Best Friend."  Yep, that about sums it up.  Sad, isn't it?  Cigarettes used to be the same way.  The difference is, you can quit cigarettes.  You can't quit food.  I often find myself reaching for food to avoid something - people, work, jobs I don't want to do, facing things I don't want to face - you name it.  This is another case of emotional eating.  It's all about changing patterns. 

Day 52: 100 Days Challenge - Food is an instant fix

Got up this morning and got in 25 minutes outside. I've been using Calorie King instead of Diet Power lately because I like the "good job" aspect and the tracking. I was one of the early subscribers so my cost is about $20.00 a year. Calorie King has you set a goal of so many minutes of exercise per week. I opted for 210 minutes a week. Tomorrow I won't get a workout in because I am going to Saginaw for the Chrism Mass. Talk about emotional eating. Tonight I am sitting on my hands. I am leading a couple of acclamations. When I started in the choir I was about 60 pounds lighter. So, besides being nervous about being up at the microphone, I am also stressed about how I look. But I need to remember, this is not going to be a shocker to anyone. It's not like I was a sylph last year. What I am doing is being as organized as I can about the things I CAN control. I have my music ready to go. I have my other liturgical issues taken care of. I have a to-do list for tonight. I have my dress pressed and ready to go. We wear black and white. I had a very nice suit, but the pants were too tight. Those pants are going to be a short-term "fit into" goal. I am doing a lighter workout tonight with a Leslie Sansone video to make up for missing tomorrow's workout. The bathroom is pretty much finished so that stressor is gone. I have the living room straightened up and dusted. I did a little bit of decluttering - not much, the dusting was more urgent.

************************************
Today's topic is "Food is an instant fix."
The sub-topics are Procrastinate and Escape and Eating to Avoid Life. These are two of the main emotional reasons I eat. I smoked for the same reasons.  A job was too big and I didn't want to get started so I'd light a cigarette and pour a cup of coffee.  I would finish the cigarette, but still had half a cup of coffee, so I'd light another cigarette.  I'd finish the coffee but still have half a cigarette left.  And so on and so on.  I quit smoking and guess what took its place.

Day 51: 100 Days Challenge - What is emotional eating?

I'm strapped for time this morning, but am popping in to report a loss of 2.2 pounds for this week. Ditching the sugar seems to have paid off - and it was fairly painless. I'm off to try out our new shower!!!! Updates later.

Update: Our new shower is fantastic. Our new bathroom is fantastic. I never imagined it would turn out so beautifully!!

*****************
100 Days of Weight Loss - What is emotional eating?
Emotional eating: Eating when you aren't hungry or in need of nutrition. Period! Boredom, stress, depression, joy, enjoyment - all of it is emotional eating. Emotional eating is my biggest problem with food. Actually, it is really my only problem with food (other than blood sugar issues which would probably resolve themselves if I got the weight off.) If I could conquer this I most likely would not have a weight problem.

Day 50: 100 Days Challenge - 10-Minute Solution

I have taken steps this week to lessen the stress level for next week. I got some of my work done early. The bathroom remodel is almost finished, but sometimes those little last minute details are more stressful than the big picture. This morning when the guys were putting in the vanity top, the wall on either side was gouged. I had to remind myself that it was fixable. When they were finished putting in the top, the wall didn't look as bad as I though it would. It will need to be touched up, but that's the beauty of a faux finish - those little imperfections are all part of the design. It's unsettling for me to have the guys working in the house. It's my problem, I know, but it's still a problem. I am trying to keep focused on the time when everything is complete and I can start putting the house back together. I took the vacuum apart this morning to clean it. I feel insecure without my vacuum. It's this kind of minor stress that will drive me to the cookie can. But, if I keep my focus today, I think the news from the scale tomorrow will be very good!

****************************
SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING
Today's lesson is entitled the 10 minute solution. I have actually been employing this little pearl. Except that I use 15 minutes a la Flylady. It is amazing to me what can be accomplished 15 minutes at a time. There are some mornings I just can't seem to roll out of bed. I still do at least 15 minutes (usually 20 because glycogen (carbs) are used up in the first 20 minutes and then fat burning begins)

Ms Spangle suggests making a sign but I already have one that says I can do anything for 15 minutes except whine.

Day 49: 100 Days Challenge - Just Do Something

Got up early this morning to get a workout in. I only had 20 minutes so I did an interval workout on the treadmill. I am coming up on one of the toughest weeks in my year. As a church musician, Holy Week is very stressful - not just because of my musical duties but because there are so many details to keep track of and implement. I am determined to stay focused on my "healthy life-change" skills. They will make me better at my job!! I have 2 sugar free days behind me and the urge to continually eat is gone. Processed carbs make me crave more processed carbs. It is much easier to let them go than to continually fight against that urge to eat just one more chocolate chip cookie. I noticed this last time the even though I was eating, nothing really tasted all that good - at least not good enough for the price I was paying.

*****************
ONE STEP LIGHTS THE FIRE
Today's discussion is about overcoming inertia. This is one of my biggest problems from exercising to major projects. It's kind of like when I was a kid and we went to the lake. That first plunge into the water was very unsettling. That's pretty close to the feeling I get when I need to get started on something. Once I'm into it, it's great, but the initial plunge is very hard for me. Ms. Spangle suggests doing the tiniest piece of the project and repeat that for a few days. This is kind of like the Flylady principle. Set the timer for 15 minutes and then just do something. This past week, when I put up the wall border in our bathroom, I broke it up into segments. It got done. It drives Harold nuts because he will get right into something and keep at it until he's finished. I can't work that way. I need to baby step my way into the whole business.

Day 48: 100 Days Challenge - you gotta want to

Woke up this morning feeling really good after having a sugar free day yesterday. I'm getting ready to head outside.

Biggest Loser last night. Hmmmmmm. Don't know what to say. Lance went home, but it looks like he's doing well there. Say what you want about his wife, she is a very strong support for him. I felt bad for Mike when he went home. Everyone one else had huge crowds and balloons and everything. His family seemed less than enthusiastic. It could be because of the grandmother though.

****************
This morning's workout was great, but I am walking quite a bit. That's okay. Walking is good. I keep my heartrate in the zone so it's good.

Day 48: Do you remember the old saying "can't died in the cornfield?" Can't usually mean "don't want to." Ms Spangle suggests substituting that every time you are tempted to use the word can't. It's really more accurate, don't you think?

Day 47: 100 Days Challenge - Kick the Can't

I don't know if it's the time of year or what, but lately I have really been down on myself. I think I have been too careless in my food choices. I don't want to face up to the fact that I just can't eat whatever I want. Even with counting points or whatever, there are certain foods I just cannot have. Sugar is poison to me, but for some reason I keep telling myself that if I just contain it within a certain amount of points, I'll be fine. I probably don't need to tell you that I am not able to contain sugar within a certain amount of points. Sugar makes me want more sugar. An example: The other day I was looking for a snack. I picked up a bag of Quaker Mini Chocolate Rice cakes. For anyone else, this would be a great alternative to a candy bar or whatever. But not for me. I ended up eating the whole bag. I might as well have eaten a Snicker's bar. I didn't stop at one serving which would have been okay. I COULDN'T stop at one serving. That ought to tell me something.
That being said, let's look at day 47 from 100 Days of Weight Loss.

It is "Kick the Can't." Okay now this can't is something different than "I can't eat sugar." Of course I CAN. What I should have said was, I feel really crummy when I eat sugar. I have a difficult stopping when I eat sugar. I feel tired when I eat sugar. No, the CAN'T that Ms Spangle is talking about is telling ourselves that we can't exercise, or we can't stick to an eating plan. We are advised to change that thinking to, "it may be hard, but I'll find a way." And then plan a way to succeed.

Earlier today I was hearing that sabotaging voice that said, "You can't give up sugar. You'll cave." Well, that may be true, but I KNOW that I can refrain from eating sugar for today. I've done it before. I don't know what next week will bring, or the next holiday, but for today I CAN do this!!

Day 46: 100 Days Challenge - If not food, then what?

Last night I watched Kirstie Alley's new show. (Between flipping to Fox to find out what was going on with the Health Care bill.) I used to love Kirstie Alley, but I find her vulgar language a huge turnoff. I have controls set to block out the F bomb and other words, but the constant bleeping paired with the fact that you can clearly see by their lips those offending words makes for a very annoying experience. I would love this show if not for that because it is real as far as weight loss. I like Biggest Loser, but, let's face it, most of those people will go back to what they were doing. The changes are too huge and too sudden to last.

Things are starting to come together now. The messiest work in the bathroom is done so I can now start doing some cleaning. It looks like it is going to be a beautiful day so I am planning on getting in a workout this afternoon after my little sweetie pie goes home.  I just love this little peanut!

From day 46 of 100 days Challenge: If not food, then what? I can remember when I was a smoker, I asked the same question. If I don't smoke, what do I do? I think only a smoker could understand this. But I remember experiencing this long before I was a smoker. What do I do? It's hard to explain, but it's a restless feeling of needing to do something, but not knowing what. Ms. Spangle suggests making a list of things to do - clean out a junk drawer, file some papers, make a batch of candles, make a grungy lamp - those would be on my list of what to do instead.

100 Days Challenge

Well, in the chaos that is this house, I have managed to misplace my Challenge book. It amazes me that one room remodel can take over an entire house. I have found myself using it as an excuse for my lack of focus lately. I'm not sure which one is affecting the other. The workouts have come to a standstill. Yes, my treadmill is covered with drawers and other stuff from the bathroom, but I have workout tapes and there is always the great outdoors. My routines have gone out the window which has greatly contributed to the all round spinning out of control.

Okay, today's weigh-in. My total loss so far is 4.8. I don't know what the week's loss is because I forgot to weigh in last Sunday. I am very disappointed in my lack of commitment to this challenge, but I have to say, it's typical of my history to start out gung-ho and then fizzle out. But . . . I am not quitting. Good or bad, I will see this challenge through. I am angry - very angry - that I have let my issues with food control my life for so many years. Some how I will find a way to maintain focus when I am surrounded by chaos.

Last night we went out to dinner. We ended up at a different restaurant than we had intended. I got into the "before dinner nachos," (we were at La Senorita), but I did box up half of my order to take home. I am proud that I ignored my inner brat who was nagging me to just give it up for the evening since I was already on a downward spiral. I have learned over the years that it isn't what I do when things are going well that determines my success or failure - it's what I do in times like these when I am discouraged at myself for letting other things take over.

I am not looking forward to running the Syrup race because I can't even run a mile anymore. I will most likely walk it. I WILL NOT bow out of the race. I want to wear the tee shirt I paid for knowing that I'm not a quitter.

Update - 20 minutes later: I have cleaned off the treadmill. No more excuses!!

Day 46 and 47: 100 Days Challenge

Good morning.
Again I am behind on my blogging, but I WILL catch up sometime today. Still struggling, but finding my way out of the muddle. Once the stress of the bathroom and Easter is behind me, I am guessing that things will be a little easier. That persistant inner brat of mine is nagging me to put everything on hold until then, but I'm not listening. Remember my post of a couple days ago about "the right time." It's always the right time. I could put things on hold until after Easter and then be tempted to veer off track until the next stressor is past. There are always stressors in our lives. I can't keep using those as excuses.

Today is going to be one of those intensely stressful days. For today I am going to have to maintain focus hour by hour.

Back later.

Day 45: 100 Days Challenge - Food-important or not?

This last week I have really found myself losing focus. As I have written in previous posts, chaos is the hardest thing for me to deal with. Between the bathroom remodel (which IS a good thing, but chaotic), our on again - off again internet connection, and the approach of Holy Week, I just feel things slipping way out of my control. I would do well to take control in the one area I can, but I am really struggling. I am going to have to do what I do with Flylady stuff. Focus on very small things. Today I am going to focus on today. I know that's what I should be doing all the time, but I get distracted very easily. For today I am going to focus on the things I CAN take charge of and kind of let the other stuff take care of itself. I know that when the bathroom is done, things will be much better. Not only will we have a terrific bathroom, but the other rooms can then be cleared out too.

I didn't workout today, but I am going to try and get something in later. Clay and Claire are coming this afternoon. They love to play outside. I can get some walking in then.

********************
Today's reading from 100 Days of Weight Loss is about the importance of food in our lives. Do we think about it constantly? Ms Spangle suggests setting aside specific times in the day when food is important.

How often during the day do I think about food? More than I should. I deliberately put off breakfast because I'm afraid once I start eating, I won't be able to stop. Lately I have been saying a short prayer along with grace "Please God, let this be enough." I often feel guilty because I know there are people in the world who won't have enough, so I often buy food for the St. Vincent de Paul cupboard at church. My overeating is not going to feed a hungry person, but perhaps setting aside funds to contribute to help someone else can help heal my issues with food.


**************

Day 44: Hundred Days Challenge - It's not the right time

I think it's time to start setting a limit on food. Because I am a compulsive eater, it is very hard for me to stay on track without some accountability with regard to amounts. I am going to use the points system to keep accountable - not because I think points have more magic than calories, but because they are easier to keep track of and encourage the eating of more fiber. I have acquired and electronic points calculator that is very cool.

I didn't get a workout in today. The first half of the day I was having a terrible pain in my knee, but it got better as the day went on. I had kids all day, but I still could have gotten a workout in outside playing with them. I am also finding myself stress eating. That needs to be addressed.

***************************

From "100 Days of Weight Loss" is It's Not the right Time. We all know that one, don't we. It's why we always start diets on Monday, and we re-start every Monday all through the year until January 1 when we start all over. My inner brat keeps popping up - especially when I slip - insisting that I just let go and start again tomorrow. This is one of the biggest challenges I face.
********************************

Days 40, 41, 42, 43: 100 Days Challenge

The internet is up and running for now. Today had all the makings of a very bad day. It started at 4:30 when I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. So I thought, if I can't sleep maybe I can catch up on my blogs. But of course the internet was down - again!!!! I was so tired that my head hurt. I was planning to skip the workout since the treadmill room is full of junk because of the bathroom remodel. But then I decided that if this day was going to turn around, I had to turn it around. So I got on the treadmill. Enter Little Miss Madison. The day was getting better already. Her routine is to take a morning nap so I took one with her. I felt so much better after we woke up. The day improved dramatically from then on. By the time my little punkin went home, the internet was up again and I found an order from the website.

Food was challenging today, but I muddled through and am calling the day a success.

Day 40: 100 Days of Weight Loss - Having an Eating Experience. This chapter talks about enjoying the context of food. I would rename this, enjoying food as part of a Social experience. You may notice that I am losing my enthusiasm for this book, but I made a commitment so I will finish.

Day 41: 100 Days of Weight Loss - Motivation is a Choice. This is very good news, because if motivation is a choice, then it is within our control. We are proactive - not victims - not dependent on the mercurial whim of the Motivation Fairy.

Day 42: 100 Days of Weight Loss - Make it Matter. Remember why you're doing this. Write it down!

Day 43: 100 Days of Weight Loss - Choose to, not Have to. Exercise is used as an example. I choose to workout, not, I have to workout. I'll go one even better. I am blessed to be able to work out. Many people would love to be able to get out and do a brisk walk on a beautiful day.

Day 39: 100 Days Challenge - Flavor or Texture

I'm behind, I know. It's been a bit of a zoo here. Workouts are still taking place daily. Will catch up as soon as I can.

Just a quick update and then I'll be back. Harold and I went up town today to pick out some things for the bathroom remodel. We stopped to eat on the way home. I paid very close attention to inner promptings about how much to eat. I started lunch with a cup of clam chowder. I ordered a fish sandwich and fries. I ate all of the clam chowder, maybe 10 fries, and half the fish that was in the sandwich. I could actually feel the +1 level when I reached it. I stopped eating and that was it. Whoo hoo! Now I didn't care all that much for the fish, but I love french fries so this was a true non-scale victory!! Food has power? Nooooooooo, I got de powa!!!!!!!!

Today's reading from 100 Days of Weight Loss is about identifying what it is you enjoy about a certain food - flavor or texture? The author suggests that if crunch is what you want, something other than chips may give you that. I think for me it is a combination of flavor AND texture.

Day 38: 100 Day Challenge - Food as Power

Today is a strength training day so it's off to the living room.
Will update later.
********************
Okay, I did 13 minutes of strength training. The guys decided that today is remodel the bathroom day and they make me nervous. But I got some good upper arm lifting done.

Today's reading from "100 Days of Weight Loss" is Food as Power. It about how eating a huge amount of food may make us feel powerful. This chapter really doesn't speak to me all that much. When I eat too much food, I feel anything but powerful.

From the "Beck Diet Solution" book. Stay in control when eating out. This is a very practical topic and the best tools to combat overeating when eating out are planning, anticipating, and practicing. Plan what you'll eat. Anticipate any sabotaging thoughts which may try to creep in. Practice exercising your "resistance" muscle.

Day 37: 100 Days Challenge - I Love to Eat!

Today started out great! Melisa was subbing today and asked if I could watch Claire and then get Clay off the bus after school. I told her I was going out for a run but would be back by 7:30. My running route goes past their house. She said "if you're doing your cooldown on the way back, Claire could run with you. I'll have her ready." Claire is 3. Their house is 1/4 from ours. I stopped for her on the way home and we ran the last 1/4 mile together. She showed me some very interesting cool down stretches which mostly involved wiggling her butt. It was a hoot. She ran the whole way. She was quite thrilled that Cousin Cale saw her out running. She is definitely her Mommy's daughter.

I was watching Hoarders last night and one of the women said something quite interesting. When the counselor came into the filthy house, the woman said, "you are looking at my pain." That struck me as very profound. I wonder if that is why we overweight people feel so self-conscious and vulnerable. Our addiction (our pain) is on display for all to see. You can shut the door on a messy house, you can shower off the smell of cigarette smoke, but overweight is there 24 hours a day. People can see that there is something not quite right with our world. Not that other addictions aren't as painful or self-destructive because they most certainly are, but for some reason people still don't mind having fun at a fat person's expense.

********************
Today's reading from 100 Days of Weight loss is titled, "I love to eat!" Today Ms Spangle asks us to think about what it is we love about eating. Is it the taste, texture, how we feel? Why are we eating? If it isn't for hunger or appreciation of taste, then there is a problem. I know that I eat for the same reasons I used to smoke. I was a lot thinner when I smoked because I did that instead of eating. Whatever satisfaction smoking gave me - and I've never been able to pinpoint it - I replaced with food. I know that when I eat, I forget about problems for a while. But when they resurface (because I never dealt with them) they are bigger.

Today Dr. Beck talks about overcoming challenges and resisting food pushers. I like to think about challenges as "Biggest Loser" moments. I imagine there is a camera on me and that at the end of the challenge I am going to have to face Bob or Jillian - or this blog. Food pushers are not as much of a challenge for me anymore. All I have to say is that I'm diabetic and they leave me alone.
************

Day 36: 100 Days Challenge - Slow Down Your Eating

I know I haven't updated yesterday yet.  I will later on.

I am at the point where I tend to fall off most programs or commitments that I make.  I had an absolutely terrible day food-wise yesterday.  It's like my inner brat heard me say that I was going to keep track of my intake and she threw a complete and utter hissy fit. It was a very scary thing.  And, reflective of my inner chaos, the house needs immediate attention.  I am going to clean the kitchen and head for my workout.  Today is a strength training day so it's a video.  Back later.

*********Evening Update*********
I never got to my workout today.  I started in the kitchen and then decided to do a complete surface declutter.  It is amazing what that does for my spirit.  I took Deb's advice and gave myself a day off. My kitchen looks like something out of a House Beautiful magazine and my food has been in its place today.  Inner chaos affects outer chaos and vice versa.  The rest of the house is still a wreck, but I can walk in my nice clean kitchen and smile.  I even made a new lamp for the windowsill.

***************************
Today's reading from 100 Days of Weight Loss is called "Slow Down Your Eating."
Continuing on from yesterday, Ms Spangle says we may become irritated with the "eating pause" because we still want the rest of our food. She suggests slowing down our eating. That makes sense to me because we don't just eat out of hunger, we also eat because we like the taste of food. But one slow bite can take the place of several fast bites and offer just as much satisfaction. These last two tools will take practice, especially if you are a compulsive eater who is used to shoveling in food to shut out bad feelings.

I am proud of myself that even though I skipped a day of working out, I did something to make myself feel terrific and it didn't involve food! Go me!

Day 35: 100 Days Challenge - The Eating Pause

Today is weigh-in day and the news is not good.  I'm up 2.2 pounds. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't bummed about it.  I would also be lying if I said I didn't know why. Food wise it was not a good week.  Oh, I stayed within the four meals, but that's about it.  But then, that was the commitment.  Anyway, even though it hasn't been 21 days of the four meal thing, I am going to move on to the next phase.  That is to write everything down - not limit it just yet, but write it down.  I am not going to let today's non-victory at the scale deter me. I think today's workout will be a fun one with the Wii Fit.

On a positive note, I have consistantly worked out every single day.  (Oy am I feeling it.)

Here's Breakfast:
Cafe latte
1/2 grapefruit
3 small eggs  (home grown, no less)
1/2 oz sunflower seed bread

This is going to be a tough week because everything in me rebels at having to keep track of food. But . . . it's really the only way to get a true picture of what's going on.  Off to the Wii.  Will update later.

************************
Today's reading from 100 Days of Weight Loss - The Eating Pause
Ms Spangle says that there is almost always a time when we pause in our eating. It is a natural occurance and we need to be aware that it happens, otherwise we might miss it. She says that this pause almost always occurs at the exact time when we've had enough to eat. Some people push their plates away, others pause and then resume eating - usually because it's there. Interesting.

Today Dr. Beck talks about identifying sabotaging thoughts. This is not quite as simple as it sounds. A sabotaging thought disguises its negativity in a coating of sweetness that sometimes - to be honest- we are all to willing to buy into. We need to be on our guard.

Day 34: 100 Days Challenge - Listen Accurately

Today started out great.  After putzing around, I finally did my workout.  I jogged over to Sam and Kelli's to pick up some coupons and then I went to the deadend and on home.  There was a time when I could run that whole way.  I have really backslid.  But I have nipped the backslide in the bud.  I was thinking as I ran, that it was just possible that I would not be able to run the whole way in the Syrup 5K - but you know what?  That's okay.  It's doing it that matters.  And who knows, now that it's getting warmer, I can get outside more and can build up my endurance again.  Either way, I'm doing that 5K.  I've told too many people, and more importantly, I have committed to myself to do it.

*******************
Today's reading from "100 Days of Weight Loss" is about accurately gauging when you are full.  Ms Spangle says that listening to your brain (the 20 minute rule) is not the answer.  It's about how your stomach feels.  She advises to think of that stuffed feeling as uncomfortable (and it is) and to set a goal of never letting yourself feel that way again.

In the Beck Diet Solution, Dr. Beck talks about the "it's not fair" syndrome.  This one is really an inner brat issue.  We need to decide who's running the show, Little Mary Ann, or Big Mary who doesn't like living in a body that makes her uncomfortable. 

Day 33: 100 Days Challenge - The Fullness Scale

I did the Firm Total Sculpt video again.  Ouch.  I am still feeling the burn from the other day!  Yesterday was not a very good day and I am really glad I was able to contain my food to the four meals.  Yesterday, when Clay and Claire were here, we played with the Wii Fit Plus.  Claire is going to be a fitness freak. She loves carrots and celery and she loves games where you are moving around.  She's only 3.

*******************
Today's reading from "100 Days of Weight Loss" is about knowing when you are full.  The hunger scale used negative numbers.  The fullness scale uses positive numbers.  Ms. Spangle goes into great detail describing the changes you feel in your abdomen when you are full.  I find this very valuable.  The hunger thing - I can tell when that's happening, but fullness is more elusive to me.  The scale goes like this:

0     Neutral, not hungry, not full
+1  Satisfied, comfortable, just right
+2   Too full, a little uncomfortable
+3   Stuffed, miserable

I am glad to say that I have not had the +3 feeling in a very long time.  It used to be a nightly occurrence.  The goal is to stop eating at a +1.  My difficulty will be in distinguishing between a +1 and a +2.  I need to work a bit on that.

*********************
Today's topic from the "Beck Diet Solution" is about responding to sabotaging thoughts.  Yep, this is an area that I find very interesting because as I said in the beginning of the challenge, all action is preceded by thought.  There are times when we feel sorry for ourselves when we can't have what we want when we want it.  The response to sabotaging thoughts is "Oh, Well."  Dr. Beck translates this as, "I don't like this but I'm going to accept it and move on." 

Day 32: 100 Days Challenge - The Five Hour Rule

 I never got back to update yesterday's post with the readings of the day.  I will do that later today so be sure and check yesterday's post.  I have a staff meeting this morning so I'm up early.  Had planned to run outside, but it's still too cold so it's off to the treadmill I go.  I am feeling yesterday's Firm workout.  It's a great feeling.

Last night I had a bit of a setback with food.  After the choir rehearsal I came home and ate some chocolate eggs.  The discussion in my head went something like this:

Inner Brat:  I'm hungry!
Me: No you're not, you're stressed.
Inner Brat:  No, I'm hungry!
Me:  No, you're not.
Inner Brat:  I don't care, I'm going to have some of those yummy chocolate eggs.
Me: They may taste good now, but how are you going to feel afterwards?  You haven't done your 21 days on this four meal thing yet.
Inner Brat:  I don't care, I want those eggs.
Me:  Okay, I can see that I can't talk you out of this.  If you're gonna eat them, then savor them.  Don't just shovel the whole bag in your mouth.

Okay, so I ate the eggs - probably more than I needed to tame the chocolate urge.  Afterwards my inner brat started in.

Inner Brat:  Hey, you made homemade bread today. Why don't we have some?
Me: No
Inner Brat:  How about some yogurt?
Me: No!
Inner Brat:  But you already ruined your streak.  What difference does it make how much you ruined it by?
Me: No!
Inner Brat:  You're never gonna do this.  You're 58 years old.  Who cares what you look like?
Me:  It's not about vanity.  It's about quality of life.
Inner Brat: Whaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Me:  Quit your whining.  I said no!

So that was the end of that.  I need to be on my guard so that doesn't happen again.  I need to plan ahead.  Choir rehearsals are always a little stressful for me because it doesn't take much for me to lose my focus.  Our numbers are down this year, I won't be there for Easter Vigil.  I need to have a plan in place for when I come home from stressful meetings.  But I am proud of myself for doing what a normal person would do.  I indulged in a treat and then I put the bag away.  But I know I am at a slippery slope here and I need to be a little more vigilant.

Update for yesterday and today coming later.

**********************
Well, the wireless connection quit working so I am typing this into a works document so I can paste it in when the connection is running again.  I am really beginning to hate electronics!  The day didn’t start off all that well to begin with.  We had a staff meeting today and I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’m not very well liked there.  I really do not look forward to staff meeting. Got through that, came home and ate lunch, then headed up to Mt. P. to get a new adapter cord for the laptop.  It didn’t work, so back to the store it goes.  This time I will go to Staples, not Walmart, and I will take my laptop and old cord with me. 

Then I come here to update my blog and lose my wireless connection.  Bah!  I’m going to make some candles.

Day 32 from 100 Days of Weight Loss - the five-hour rule.  The rule is, do not go more than 5 hours without eating.  I’m assuming the means during the day.  Not a problem for me due to my blood sugar issues, but the theory is, the hungrier you let yourself get, the more you’ll eat.   Spangle recommends using a combination of hunger signals and your watch to manage your intake.

The “Beck Diet Solution” chapter for today is about the first weigh-in.  I have had a couple already, but basically you weigh-in and do an assessment.  I do this on Sundays.

Day 31: 100 Days Challenge - Hunger Scale

This morning's workout was a total blast. I haven't done the The Firm: Total Sculpt Plus Abs in ages.  I used to be able to do the whole thing.  This morning I made it through 30 minutes, but skipped the leg lifts which involved climbing on the fanny lifter.  What I did was enough for today.  I can't wait to see progress in this area.  After the workout, I rewarded myself with some Wii time.  I checked in with Biggest Loser, and Wii Fit Plus.

Breakfast today started with a whole grapefruit, not because I think it has any magical weight loss properties, but because I like it and it is very filling.  At Glen's they are running a special on General Mills cereals.  By 6 and get $10.00 off at checkout and a $6.00 coupon off your next milk purchase.  The register also spit out a $2.00 coupon off your next purchase of 5 General Mills cereals.  Harold is a Honey Nut Cheerio junkie so I bought the last 4 small boxes they had and I bought 2 boxes of Total.  This morning I had the Blueberry Pomegranite.  It was really good although a little sugary to me so when I shop tonight, I'm going to look for something else.

I found out that the Maple Syrup run will finish on the new track at Shepherd High School.  I really wish this track had been there when Melisa and Nicola were on the track team, but I'm glad that the students have it now.

***************************
Today's reading from "100 Days of Weight Loss" deals with reading your hunger signals.  Not much new here.  I've learned about hunger scales before.  This one uses negative numbers to gauge hunger. 
0 is neutral
-1 is a little hungry
-2 is very hungry
-3 is starved - way too hungry.

The author advises responding to hunger at -1 and to eat within 20-30 minutes of experiencing it.

*****************
From the Beck Diet Solution book - dealing with setbacks and slips.  The single most important advice here is to immediately get back on track.  I have always said, it isn't the slip ups that do us in - it's what we do afterwards that determines our ultimate success. 

Day 30: 100 Days Challenge-postpone Eating

Got up a little later today, but still got in 25 minutes on the treadmill. I'm ready to add some weight training.  I have osteopenia, so weight training is important.  I wanted to have the daily cardio firmly established before adding in the weights.  Tomorrow I can sleep a little later (but not too late because then I'm not as productive) and I think I am going to do one of my favorite Firm video - Total Sculpt plus abs.  I usually leave the abs part off, but I think I may do the entire video tomorrow.  I love the Firm videos because they incorporate weights and cardio.

I sent my registration and money in for the Maple Syrup 5k.  Go me!

I stopped at the grocery store tonight and picked up some produce.  I have been doing pretty well with limiting food to four meals a day, but I think I'm ready to start making some healthier choices.  My 3:00 pm meal is going to be yogurt.  I buy Dannon Light and Fit, but I add 1/8 cup of drained full fat yogurt to give it some staying power.  I am also adding a daily citrus fruit to breakfast.  I am still not forbidding any foods.  To do that is to give them too much power.

************************
Today's reading from "100 Days of Weight Loss" is called "Postpone Eating."  This is a technique you can use at parties or restaurants.  At parties you are advised to look around to see what food is there.  Have what you want, but delay eating it until toward the end of the party.  When we have a family gathering, there is always a lot of good food.  There are also a lot of tempting appetizers.  I can't count the times that I ate far to much of the appetizers and when it was time for dinner, nothing tasted good because I had already filled up on the snacks.  My plan is to just avoid the snack bar at the next family get together.

My husband and I love Mexican and Italian food.  At Mexican restaurants they always bring out the nachos and salsa.  At Italian restaurants its the Italian bread and herbed olive oil dip.  It's very easy to get caught up in those things and have no room (or appreciation) for the main course.  Ms. Spangle suggests having those nachos or bread - but as part of your meal; not as a "meal" before the meal.

From the "Beck Diet Solution" book, we are advised to stop fooling ourselves.  I would put it more strongly - stop lying to ourselves.  Stop making excuses for the unplanned eating.  When it comes to what we put in our mouths, the buck stops with us.  Other people may not be supportive, or may try to pressure us to eat when we shouldn't, but unless someone jabs an intravenous feeding tube into our arms and ties us down the decision to eat is ours. 

In the "Never Say Diet" book, I am at the chapter where Chantel Hobbs starts listing the five decisions she made that have guided her through her weight loss and beyond.  The first is "Make the decision to stop letting life pass you by."  We all know what that's about.  When I lose weight I will ______________.  In my younger years I was an avid runner.  I never entered a race because I was waiting until I was thin.  Ironically, when I look at pictures of myself from back then, I WAS thin - at least compared to now.   Three years ago I made a decision to enter a road race.  I signed up 3 months before planning to lose at least 30 pounds before the race.  I didn't lose the weight.  In fact, I think I may have gained some.  As the time of the race approached, I had pretty much talked myself out of entering.  I had quit training a month into the commitment.  But I thought about how I would feel if I didn't enter.  I had told several people I was going to do it.  I decided the pain of knowing I was a quitter would be worse than any embarrassment I might feel about my weight.  I ran that race.  I ran the entire 3 miles.  I was the last runner in followed by some ladies who were walking the course.  When I finished that 5K I felt like a million bucks.  I was so glad that I hadn't quit.

So, tomorrow starts the weight training, and from now on the cardio will be outside on the running route unless the weather forbids it.

Day 29: 100 Days Challenge - Handheld Foods

A new month.  What is it about beginnings that get us excited?  What is magical about January 1, or Mondays?  How did we develop the mindset that we can't begin to change on any day other than the first of the year?  I have to laugh because I purposely started this journey on a Monday on the first day of the month.  I think January 1 or Mondays are part of the "perfectionism" mindset that we all face.  All of us have perfectionist tendencies about something whether it be cleaning or dieting.  I've mentioned Flylady before and she is a big proponent of getting rid of that perfectionist thinking.  Thanks to her, I have made a lot of progress in that area.  It's as if I needed someone in authority telling me that "progress, not perfection" was a worthy goal.  As I look over February and what I've achieved, I am happy.  In the past I wouldn't have been.  I wouldn't have thought I accomplished enough.  And we can see where that got me.  So let's look over February and see where I stand.

1.  I have developed the habit of exercising every day.  I only missed one day in February and that wasn't intentional.

2.  I am becoming comfortable with eating at only 4 specified times.

3.  I have been accountable every single day.

4. I have lost my first 5 pounds.

5.  I am feeling good about myself.

6.  I have committed to a 5K in 2 months.

The first 5k that I ran, I was actually 10 pounds less than I am now.  I remember that I almost chickened out of the race because I hadn't lost any weight and I worried about what people would think.  You know what?  Everyone was very encouraging.  Students from the school where I worked cheered me on. About 2 months ago, a friend on Facebook told me that I had inspired her.  Think of that!  I didn't even know that I had inspired someone.  And what about what people would think?  I know what I think when I see an overweight person running on the road as I am driving by.  If I can catch his or her eye, I give a big thumbs up.  I find them inspiring!  I picture what they'll look like months from now if they stay the course. And then I recommit to my own goals.  I think this is the attraction of the Biggest Loser.  But I don't like the way the contestants lose the weight.  I would much rather follow them for a longer season and see into their minds, read their thoughts, and see them lose at a healthier pace.  That would have more relevance to my life.  There is no way on earth I could exercise for 6 plus hours a day, even if I wanted to.

 ******************
Today's reading from "100 Days of Weight Loss" is titled Handheld Foods.  This kind of ties in with mindless eating.  It's easy to grab a handful of food and then another without really thinking about it.  Ms. Splangle suggests putting your portion of a handheld food in a serving size bowl rather than eating from the big bowl.  That's kind of a "duh."  At least it is for me.  I rarely eat from the bag or a serving bowl because I have learned that I can empty both before I realize what I'm doing.

The "Beck Diet Solution" book talks about changing your definition of full. What comes to mind when you think about being full?  Is it that sensation that you have had just enough, could eat a little more, but choose not to?  Or is it that feeling you get on Thanksgiving when you have shoveled in enough to feed a third world family for a week.  When you are so uncomfortable that all you can do is just veg out until you can breathe again?  There is full, and there is overfull.  Remember, eating it to keep it from being wasted is to, in fact, waste it.