Today started out great! Melisa was subbing today and asked if I could watch Claire and then get Clay off the bus after school. I told her I was going out for a run but would be back by 7:30. My running route goes past their house. She said "if you're doing your cooldown on the way back, Claire could run with you. I'll have her ready." Claire is 3. Their house is 1/4 from ours. I stopped for her on the way home and we ran the last 1/4 mile together. She showed me some very interesting cool down stretches which mostly involved wiggling her butt. It was a hoot. She ran the whole way. She was quite thrilled that Cousin Cale saw her out running. She is definitely her Mommy's daughter.
I was watching Hoarders last night and one of the women said something quite interesting. When the counselor came into the filthy house, the woman said, "you are looking at my pain." That struck me as very profound. I wonder if that is why we overweight people feel so self-conscious and vulnerable. Our addiction (our pain) is on display for all to see. You can shut the door on a messy house, you can shower off the smell of cigarette smoke, but overweight is there 24 hours a day. People can see that there is something not quite right with our world. Not that other addictions aren't as painful or self-destructive because they most certainly are, but for some reason people still don't mind having fun at a fat person's expense.
********************
Today's reading from 100 Days of Weight loss is titled, "I love to eat!" Today Ms Spangle asks us to think about what it is we love about eating. Is it the taste, texture, how we feel? Why are we eating? If it isn't for hunger or appreciation of taste, then there is a problem. I know that I eat for the same reasons I used to smoke. I was a lot thinner when I smoked because I did that instead of eating. Whatever satisfaction smoking gave me - and I've never been able to pinpoint it - I replaced with food. I know that when I eat, I forget about problems for a while. But when they resurface (because I never dealt with them) they are bigger.
Today Dr. Beck talks about overcoming challenges and resisting food pushers. I like to think about challenges as "Biggest Loser" moments. I imagine there is a camera on me and that at the end of the challenge I am going to have to face Bob or Jillian - or this blog. Food pushers are not as much of a challenge for me anymore. All I have to say is that I'm diabetic and they leave me alone.
************
We catch Hoarders on On Demand on nights when there is no other conflict. Last night I watched half of The Biggest Loser till I got bored and then flipped to 19 Kids and Counting. It was exciting- she finally got to hold her new little preemie !
ReplyDeleteWith food, it seems that some emotional eaters reach for food because of memories it brings up. Memories of comfort and happier times like childhood. I can understand that ! Emotional eating has not been an issue for me, but I am a former smoker, drinker and drug user, and I can well understand the addictive process in the brain. Why food never became an addiction is beyond me !For me cigarettes, alcohol and drugs were something I saw as bad, and in my strange little head if I surrounded myself with bad things, I was capable of fighting off bad things and would not become a victim in life. A very twisted form of logic, but there you have it. When I realized this was not the case, I was able to quit everything cold turkey.My weight struggle comes manly from PCOS, and there are many days i wish it was simply bad behaviors and not metabolic chemistry that I had to overcome ! Not that doing so is easy ( it's not) but emotional issues are at least within a person's grasp , ,once they get to the root. I keep working with different nutritional theories to find the one that is going to kick my body into compliance . We will both get there !
Very profound stuff here Mary. :) I agree with you that our addiction and problems are there for all the world to see and that most people that don't have that particular problem don't understand its an addiction and there for have no problem poking fun.
ReplyDeleteProbably my biggest problem with food pushers is my hubby of all people. I really honestly believe he would rather i just join him and go bact to eating the way i used to. It feels like a tug of war. Now he does it descreetly but its there. It feels like one of us is gonna have to give one day and follow the other just for cohesiveness. But you know what i'm determined to hold out longer than him because its not only for my health but his as well . And one day he will wake up and come over to the light side....:)